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i watched my Dad pass away 2 years ago from cancer and simply cant recover from it

Russ
Community Member
i have been like this for the last 2 years and have only just been to see a professional this week. does it get better in time. i am taking medication but every day is a struggle to do things. lack of drive not wanting to get out of bed feeling tired but cant sleep at night or daytime. this is simply awfull. any advice? i am a 56 year old male i watched my Dad pass away 2 years ago from cancer and simply cant recover from it
4 Replies 4

Damien
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello Russ,

I'm sorry to read about your Dad's passing, no wonder you are sad.

From my (limited) understanding there is a difference between grief and clinical Depression and Anxiety, although of course they can be connected too.  Medication really only works if there is a biological cause to your sadness, be that hormonal or otherwise.  For example I take medication to boost the effects of Serotonin in my body.  Grief will never be "cured" by drugs, because grief doesn't need drugs.  Grief needs comfort and hope..."hugs not drugs" to be slightly cheeky about it.

I hope that the professional which you saw has been able to help you, possibly with ways of moving on or recovering to use your words.  Of course your life will never be the same with Dad gone, and gone to cancer too, but you can be well enough to live in a "new normal" which is healthy and happy at times.  Perhaps new hobbies and some "talking therapies" where you can download your thoughts and learn some new ways of thinking would work well for you.  Of course if you have been down for a long time (and two years is a very long time) then your body may well have "adapted to grief" and you do now need medication to sort out the buggered-up biology.

The right therapies will make things better, it's just a question of finding them, but as I say no amount of drugging will take away loneliness or "gee I miss Dad today".thoughts - that takes talking and new ways to thinking.  See a Psychologist, or even a grief counsellor for that, hopefully your GP will be able to hook you up with that sort of thing.  It's never too late to start this sort of thing.

Bless.

geoff
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

dear Russ, I am sorry for the loss of your dad, it's never easy to cope with when something like this happens.

It does get better in time, but this time varies from person to person, and we can't predict how long this will be, no one can.

Your a naughty boy for leaving it so long before you have asked for help, once you were beginning to constantly feel down then this is the time to seek help, because it won't just go away.

I'm not sure how long you have been taking your medication, but it may take 6 weeks for it to kick in, and if there are any problems don't hesitate, go back to your doctor, and if you can't sleep then your doctor can give you something to break this cycle. Geoff.

Russ
Community Member
hi Damien. thankyou so much for your kind words and advice i sincerly do appreciate it. i guess i left it to late and also having to deal with my Dads passing alone was a lot to take on board. also at the same time my partner of 18 years told me she couldnt handle my sadness and left which also made me hit rock bottom so to speak but i decided to see my GP and finally do something as i hit a brick wall and was lost in the world. its only been a week and i have seen my counsellor twice and a mental health care nurse at my Doctors clinic and it is helping god bless for so many understanding people. i have lost friends and the passion of the things i used to do but i am told this will return in time with treatmeant. i decided to join here and ask advice and to read what others have had to endure and i am sure it will do me some good. another day to forge ahead. thanks again.

Russ
Community Member
hi Geoff. hey thankyou for your kind words and words of advice it sure does help . yes i did leave it to long but me being a typical bloke i thought i could deal with it but time took its toll i lost my partner of 18 years she said my grief was to much to handle and left me i ran my buisness into the ground and ended up in a mountain of money probs. and finally hit rock bottom last week and went to see my Doctor who helped me immensley. i am taking medication and seeing a counsellor every week and a mental health care nures that is also at my Doctors. i am told in time it does get better but what an awfull place to end up and i never thought it would happen to me. thanks again.i appreciate your words.