I miss my grandmother
It was Australia Day last year when this person in my life passed away in the late afternoon on this supposibly happy day. It was a warmish day everyone new it would be anytime and anyday now that she would pass away. She was an absolutely beautiful person that was nice to be around. I remember mum coming home after being out all day and walking up to me and saying that "your grandmother has passed away just now". I stood there for what seemed like an eternity with this blank look on my face, my face turning white as a big fluffy white cloud in the sky. The tears swelled up i slowly walked up the hallway to my room closing door behind me and sitting on my bed in shock. I think of her on a weekly basis, i visit her plot at the cemetary to put in some fresh colourful flowers. This person may have passed away but the memories live on in each of us. She used to give us cruskits as young kids when we visit thier house in town, my grandpa is still alive but in a nursing home he drinks abit of ginger beer and whiskey each day which we all think is a bit funny but we all know it is his way coping without my grandmother. She was 85.
I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your grandmother and can I also say, that you have a wonderful way of writing and expressing yourself. Not everyone can do it, but you have a lovely knack for it. It's like you write and the reader can easily identify people and also feel like you're actually at the place that you describe.
It sounds like you've got some really wonderful memories of this lovely lady and images and thoughts that you will cherish forever.
How are you going today?
Thanks for response, support and kind words. How am i going today, well i fluctuate every hr of every day. As i write this post i am feeling a little lonely, a bit disappointed with a friend and how she spoke to me this afternoon, after i answered her call for help to clean a house and yard with her and listen her complain about her past for close to an hr.. It ended in a big argument, as she reckons i don't know what real work is when i do. She doesn't listen to me, she reckons i lied to her today when i didn't but when she gets something in her head she goes with it you just can't change her mind even when she is wrong. I just didn't need that today. She says she looks forward but she just keeps bringing up her past and complains about it and brings up what i say to her and complains about that too.
I want to keep this person as a friend but if she keeps going the way she is i'm thinking of deleting her name and number from my phone and not being friends with her anymore which would be a shame. She can't see what she is doing to our friendship i have tried to tell her but she won't listen.
I need someone to talk too, someone to sit beside me and put their arm around me and tell me it's going to be ok Chris. I need some physical connection just a hug will help.
I have fallen into a hole that i can't get out off friends. Will you help me get out of it please. I need assistance.
I am sorry to read about the loss of your grandmother and the struggle you have.
I lost my grandma last Friday and I hadn't seen her for many many years but I am emotional because she was still my grandma.
I think having happy memories of our grandparents helps. And sounds like your grandmother was a beautiful lady. Hang on to those memories.
Hope you okay Chris,
It is clear that you loved your grandmother dearly, and that she will always be in your mind and heart. Losing a much loved family member is horrific, and for those of us who live with depression, it can - quite frankly - be an ongoing trigger for severe mood and attitude swings. My father died when I was 17 - 38 years ago - and there is not a single day that goes by without me thinking of him.
Chris, when I was younger I would often fall into depths of depression in thinking of him and my loss. It wasn't until I learned to *respect* him and his memory that things changed. There is much of my father upon which I model myself - his commitment to his family, a readiness to fight for what was right, and high moral values.
In that way I keep memories of my father close to me at all times, but more importantly, I balance the grief (which I still feel) with HIS strength of character.
Chris, I hope you hold fast to the memories of your grandmother and draw from her the strength and love I feel sure she intended for you.