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I lost my mum this year

KatLady1
Community Member
I lost my mum this year due to cancer. I am struggling with the fact I didnt get more time with her. I wasnt there when i should of been. I was too focused in my own issues to be there with family. how do i cope with that regret and guilt of not being there
3 Replies 3

Petal22
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi KatLady1,

Wellcome to our forums and I’m so sorry for your loss I understand it would be difficult for you..

Try to forgive yourself for not knowing what you know now.

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welocme

I'm saddened for your loss. The grief period is something none of us can assist with for the first little while but when you feel the urge to move on a little then distraction is the way to go. Fill everyday with hobbies, sports, interests etc. Of course set aside times to reflect on your mum again then back into distraction.

I lost my beaut dad 29 years ago and it still effects me. A rose in the corner of my property reminds me of him, so a rose garden might help. Yet my wife lost her mum this year that was staying with us, her father 4 days later and her step dad all in 2021. So I know what you are feeling.

I hope you can distract yourself and maybe build a rose garden or the plants she loved, however you do it is up to you.

Google-

Youtube prem rawat maharaji sunset

And many more of his videos. It might help open the floodgates which can help.

TonyWK

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

KatLady1

I am sorry for your loss.

When one loses a parent there are so many regrets and emotions.

. My dad and mum died over 14 years and 20 years ago respectively.

I struggled too as Ididnt visit my dad as much as I wished I was had because I lived 7 hrs away by bus.

I was so annoyed at myself and felt guilty . I would also reflect on all the the times I has argued with him. We loved each other but we were both obstinate. I felt so wretched

until some one suggested I may try focusing on the positives rather than regretting on what I can’t change.

Aftter a while I tried to focus on all the great times we had together.

I wrote letters to him on the computer and it helped me to express how I was feeling.

There is no use by time for grief. the first year and especially the first 6 months is so hard as one adjust to not having a parent in ones life.