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Friend died suddenly yesterday.I feel numb. Is this normal?

Beetle
Community Member

 I just lost a friend yesterday. She had an accident. I feel nothing. I am numb.

This freaks me out.I feel i am a freak since i am numb.Is this normal?

I am on SNRI's and wonder if they can block feelings especailly negative feelings?Or does my body just protect itself by not allowing me to feel grief ?( i had 3 funerals this year already)

Thanks for your help

Beetle

6 Replies 6

Jo3
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Beetle,

I am sorry to hear that you lost your friend yesterday.  It's such a hard time for you especially as you have had 3 funerals already this year.

I lost my 23 yr old niece 6 weeks ago to suicide and I was devastated and in shock when I found out.  I ended up at my doctors that night and just broke down in his rooms.  It felt like something was gone from me and I couldn't explain.  My doctor gave me some sleeping tablets for that night which helped.

All I can say is if you are not sleeping properly maybe see your doctor for some sleeping tablets just to get you through this tragic time.

I feel for your loss.  Thinking of you.,  Take care

Jo

Zbigniew
Community Member

Hi Beetle,

I am so sorry to hear that you lost your friend yesterday.  My sincere thoughts and best wishes are with you.  We all react differently to grief / trauma and it doesn't surprise me that you should be feeling numb at the moment.  I think this is a perfectly normal reaction especially considering everything else that you have gone through.  I guess this is just a coping mechanism.

It appears that i react in a similar manner to you in regards to trauma.  About 20 years ago a close family friend died in a car accident.  She was only 16!  At the time i felt emotionally numb i guess i didn't react because i was being strong for my sister.  It wasn't until about a month later that i cried just out of the blue.

Then about 15 years ago my sister attempted suicide and had to be rushed to hospital.  Everyone in my family reacted very emotionally except for me at the time .....  again i guess i was the strong supportive one.  It wasn't until a couple of weeks later that i just suddenly burst into tears out of the blue while i was driving to work.

So we all react differently so please don't be concerned about your reaction.  I hope you have a good support network around you and i wish you the very best!

Kind Regards

Zbigniew

geoff
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

dear Beetle, it's been such a bad year for you, and now to add another death is unbelievable, and even when I say I'm sorry won't get rid of this pain you are having, but like the others you know that we are thinking for you.

I guess after three funerals already this year, you are feeling numb because you just can't believe what's happened, and think to yourself 'not another one'.

The SNRI medication doesn't make your body or mind numb and have loss of any feeling, because if it did this then we would all be robots walking around.

This lack of grief is only a temporary blockage, because unfortunately it's going to hit you down the track, and this could be tomorrow or at the funeral or afterwards.

It's going to happen more to you because you have depression, and a delayed affect will cause this grief, so please protect yourself by having a support network, and this includes us as well. Geoff.

Beetle
Community Member

Hi

Thanks so much for your kind words and support Jo,Zbigniew and GoeffSo sorry to hear Jo that you lost your niece, losing such a young person is increadible painful.I hope you have lovley people to talk to to process this!

Zbigniew, you also went through so much grief, i can certainly feel your pain.Thanks for sharing your expereince with me. I hope you are ok at the moment?I really appreciate your support. Thanks to your replies I feel less freaky now and can accept that my body probaby protects me from another breakdown. I completly broke down after the first funeral of a good friend of mine 9 month ago. I was a complete wreck. I havent been diagnosed with D and A at that time and was already very burned out. it was a horrible time and the death had triggered heaps off stuff and i became suicidal.I still feel numb but i am starting to accept that my grief may come later maybe like you Zbigniew .

So all I can do now is to be there for my friends and support them in their grief and if i break down later to accept their support. I dunno when the funeral is yet, its a coroners case and i dont know if that means they do an autopsy? I have no idea it all appears to be unreal and more like 'bones' than reality......Thanks again for all of you.Love Beetle

angielove
Community Member

I'm sorry for your lost, Beetle. 3 funerals in a year...really sad. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Keep company with your family and friends for support. That too shall pass.

Becca91lou
Community Member

I'm so sorry to hear. 

I would like to add that those type of medication can "block feelings" I had 3 different tragedies in one month and was completely numb the whole time I knew it wasn't normal for me I would normally (and like everyone else affected by the tragedies) would cry. The lack of emotion finally pushed through and I had a massive massive breakdown and had professionals take me off the medication for a while in which Time I could grieve and be monitored. I am now back on said medication but on a lower dose and know what to look out for such as not having normal emotional responses. It definately helps in general but for a while effected me negatively. Never go off your medication without proper professional help - thankfully had A LOT of help. 

It is also some people's human reaction to grieve later after the traumatic event took place. It just so happens my medication was stopping me having normal emotions - you know yourself best! 

 

Stay strong