depression after breaking up
My name is Sabi. I have been suffering from depression for two months. Dunno where to go. This is due to a broken relationship. I really wish someone could reply to me show me a way.
I was born in a broken family and i never ever had the feeling of home or family support. I have also been away from hometown ten more years, just been by myself. During last three years, i had three relationships and every time i dedicated myself. I guess is because i didnt have any family love, then everytime i had relations i took him as my everything and i always regarded my bf as more important than me. I found my bf is like my motivation driving me forward and also is like the source of of my emotions no matter happiness or unhappiness. However, all my three relationship sucks. I was always being dumped. Two months ago, i was dumped again. I dunno what i had done wrong.....I really dunno what i hav done wrong. I just dedicated myself and really just wanna a home coz i never had a home.
I feel i couldnt handle this depression anymore. I quit all my jobs and study at university, and i thought i d better. But not. Then i went to see gp got some sleeping tablets but didnt work. I talked to counsellor twice already, but really not working. Every friend was trying to help but i just couldnt cheer up at all. And my ex came over the other day laughing at me saying i was always being dumped. And he told me in the beginning of our relation he already knew that we gonna break up someday. I was so so hurt....I feel i have been fooled whilst i totally committed myself and put him as part of my life but how he could do this to me?
I feel i couldnt forgive myself. I smoked a lot and isolated myself. I used to be very social and outdoor person, however, nothing i am interested now. I escaped from my living place for another town, coz i couldnt face that familiar town and those bad memories with him. However, upon leaving that town, i still didnt recover. I feel i lost my confidence. I also up and down a lot. I closed myself indoor not talking with anyone. I hate myself so so much, and i feel i am killing myself. I dunno what to do??? I really want to regain my soul but i dunno where it is....I am empty. I lost my mental attachment. I really want to back to normal...I never so down like this....
Feeling hopeless. I have so many works lagging behind but i just couldnt handle it. I let down my boss and escaped. I feel so bad.
I wish some experienced ppl can give me? Give me some voice please? THANK YOU!
It sounds like things are getting really on top of you at the moment. In addition to seeking support here, please give our support line a call on 1300 22 46 36, they're open 24 hours, 7 days.
It would also be a good idea to go back and see your doctor, and perhaps print out your post and take it with you so he/she can understand what you've been going through.
You haven't done anything wrong, sometimes relationships don't work out. Based on what you've said about your ex above, it sounds like he is bad news and you would be best not staying in contact with him.
Sorry Nes, for butting in but how do you ask a question or share something. There appears to be no way to do it. I have a continuous depression for decades, sex is a problem due to it's absence since I can't remember when. All I would like is genuine friendship with a bit of sex thrown but I cannot see anything in the future, I'm 70, probably reached my due by date, and ready to be tossed down the toilet. I honestly don't know where I'm headed. I emailed a list of thoughts to beyond blue but I have received no answer I don't know if this is a very usefull site. Again, apologies for jumping in at an inappropriate place but Beyond Blue doesn't seem to have an appropriate place. I just can't see anyone helping when I have no friends no companions nothing to look forward to in life, no enthusiasm, things I was interested in have fallen by the wayside, no one to talk to (about anything) Oh correction I look after a dog for someone and I talk to the dog like I would a person, pathetic huh.
dear Sab, well there's not much more I can say to you after what Nes and Christopher have said, however I am curious as to this smoking, and you don't have to reply if you feel uneasy.
Why would someone say to you 'that one day we are going to break up', this puts a mozz on the relationship from the beginning.
I would be inclined to see another counsellor, because you have to feel comfortable with them, and they have to understand what you are going through.
You can't talk to anybody if you don't like them, because the nitty gritty of your problems are never discussed, because you are too afraid.
Don't take it as though you have let your boss down, this just can't be helped, because depression is a strong beast and takes control of anyone and that's all the people on this site.
You need to find a doctor and psych who understands, and the first thing you could do is to ring the Beyond Blue phone number which is under 'get support' on the top of this page, and they will be able to direct you in the right direction. L Geoff. x