Grief and loss

Support and advice following the loss of a family member, partner, spouse or someone close to you.

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Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

All discussions

IAM_INKI My Guardian Angel: Granddad
  • replies: 1

Hi all. This post is about the bravest, most loving and caring person I ever had. He is my granddad. Basically, I grew up with my grandparents. Mum and dad weren't that quite established yet, not having enough finances to support both me and my sibli... View more

Hi all. This post is about the bravest, most loving and caring person I ever had. He is my granddad. Basically, I grew up with my grandparents. Mum and dad weren't that quite established yet, not having enough finances to support both me and my sibling. I had the best childhood! I was well-loved, taken cared of and was the adult's "adorable bub" back then. It was the best years of my life! But like other people's life story, mine wasn't that too different. After a couple of years being under my grandparents care, I found myself being in my parents wings. I didn't knew my mum back then, I was so little and they said I just cried my heart out. Been looking for my grandparents from dusk to dawn. I was horrible back then, I know. But it wasn't my fault. They we're the only people I knew of - my beloved grandmum and granddad. Fast forward, last 2021 the scarieat day of my life. My granddad left us, left me. Until now, still don't want to think that he's already gone. He's still clearly is alive within me, he's always here, in my heart. I miss him, so badly. He was always there for me since day 01.. ‍ if I can just see him for the last time.. even just to hug him and to say goodbye to him.. I miss him badly, everyday. Will never be tired and will never fail to love him forever.

shesawallflower my mum died and i miss her badly.
  • replies: 15

Im 28 years old and my mum died VERY EXEXPECTEDLY with a massive stroke/brain annerysm in November 2017. It was quite confronting as my brother, dad and I sat with her for days in ICU on life support completly unconcious where we told we had to turn ... View more

Im 28 years old and my mum died VERY EXEXPECTEDLY with a massive stroke/brain annerysm in November 2017. It was quite confronting as my brother, dad and I sat with her for days in ICU on life support completly unconcious where we told we had to turn it off. It all went so fast and we just had to deal with what happend. Its been a year and a half but Im feeling like the grief is becoming a little harder. People who have/are experiencing greif. How long does it last? I know there is no right or wrong answer and I know everyone is different. But im just so mentally tired and drained from being so sad and not letting go. My boyfriend has been so supportive, I think its so unfair for him that I am so emotional all the time.

Sunflower23 The loss of companionship
  • replies: 3

I’m grieving the loss of companionship, after my long term relationship ended. I miss having someone to talk to about daily life things and having that someone in your corner, who wants to support you, be there for you and love you unconditionally.

I’m grieving the loss of companionship, after my long term relationship ended. I miss having someone to talk to about daily life things and having that someone in your corner, who wants to support you, be there for you and love you unconditionally.

Selgae Losing a parent from Stage 4 lung cancer
  • replies: 3

Dad’s became legally blind at mid age. He was devastated due to loss of mobility as a consequence. Then diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer at 86 that has spread to the left leg bones causing agonising pain that has left him unable to walk. Just 3 mon... View more

Dad’s became legally blind at mid age. He was devastated due to loss of mobility as a consequence. Then diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer at 86 that has spread to the left leg bones causing agonising pain that has left him unable to walk. Just 3 months after being diagnosed with cancer he’s had a stroke that left him with his left body paralysed. Hard to see a gentleman suffer with discomfort, pain, anxiety and depression for almost half his lifetime. It is affecting all members of the family including grandchildren due to his illness. Breaks my heart to hear him say “im tired”. Left me with anger and denial and embarrassment. Tried to show my family I’m fine when deep inside im not. I guess this is one way of getting it off my chest.

Ripcantrell Just lost my mum and and so many regrets
  • replies: 6

My mum passed away two days ago and I have not been able to accept it, probably in denial but angry too. Mum was in the UK. I did manage to see mum before she died in hospital but she was on the mend before I left and had restricted access due to cov... View more

My mum passed away two days ago and I have not been able to accept it, probably in denial but angry too. Mum was in the UK. I did manage to see mum before she died in hospital but she was on the mend before I left and had restricted access due to covid controls. I wasn't concerned as I genuinely believed I could get back in a few months to see her again. She was discharged on the day I left the UK so I felt ok about leaving. I planned to return in a few months, however, she was back in hospital within a week and took a downturn healthwise and was dead within about two weeks. I wish I had stayed and I can't stop thinking I could have done more to get her well again. I honestly think the standard of care in the hospital was poor and this opinion is shared by my sibling in the UK. I am now feeling terrible about not being there and I really miss my mum. I have let her down, took her for granted in respect of assuming she will always be there and made little effort the last few years. I gave grown up children and a wife who are great but I feel so alone in my grief. I can't show my emotion because it's not my thing and can only do this in private. I feel like I should be punished for the way I have been and deserve it. I know I have an underlying depression slowly eating away like a cancer. I also know this will be bad for those I leave behind. Grief can't be like this surely? I am thinking of the time I had with mum and memories but this anger is boiling away too. I don't know how this will end and I can only hope it will ease with time.

PrincessE Losing my beloved Princess
  • replies: 3

I don’t know how to cope with this grief. I am in the process of losing my beloved Princess (Golden Retriever) she is 15 years of age and I have had her since she was 8 weeks oldShe is the love of my life and my only support and companionShe has love... View more

I don’t know how to cope with this grief. I am in the process of losing my beloved Princess (Golden Retriever) she is 15 years of age and I have had her since she was 8 weeks oldShe is the love of my life and my only support and companionShe has loved me unconditionally for 15 years and been my loyal love i don’t know how I can go on without her, I cannot stop crying and worrying, I feel sickMy life will not be worth living without my baby, I have lived my life for heri would love to hear from anyone that has experienced this lossi am probably going to have to make a decision to put her to sleep which I cannot do, it will kill me I am heartbroken and cannot go on i don’t know how to cope and feel like I am going to die without her

KannF Psychic
  • replies: 4

Hello has anyone here seen a psychic/medium and actually have gained anything out of it? Like with everything the psychic said was spot on and for some reason I actually feel free after today like a sense of weight lifted off my shoulders I know my m... View more

Hello has anyone here seen a psychic/medium and actually have gained anything out of it? Like with everything the psychic said was spot on and for some reason I actually feel free after today like a sense of weight lifted off my shoulders I know my mother is safe and happy to be with her mum and it’s okay for me to move on with my life now..?

Nat_C Unspeakable grief
  • replies: 3

8 years ago I lost my best friend who was like a sister to me. She was Albanian and I met her in Albania but she passed away when I was in Australia. This alone would have been challenging but she died with pregnancy complications which has made it v... View more

8 years ago I lost my best friend who was like a sister to me. She was Albanian and I met her in Albania but she passed away when I was in Australia. This alone would have been challenging but she died with pregnancy complications which has made it very difficult to discuss with friends. Every mothers day and Christmas is challenging as is new years eve. This year seems worse than normal, but I struggle to find people to talk to about it because pregnancy can be such a sensitive topic. This year I know 3 people who are expecting about the tine my friend was due but I am also hoping to return to Albania. Is there anyone who has experience in grieving in a setting that is hard to talk about and if so what have you found helpful. Sadly when I am at my worst with this there seems to be limited help available, due to b the time of year, though I do have a GP appointment booked this week.

davey_ Childhood grief created emptiness emotionally
  • replies: 2

When I was 7 my mum died of leukaemia ever since then my life was changed as through my teenage years to this day I have noticed a lack of emotions and feelings that are considered normal. I feel as if I’m not sad when I should be and I don’t know ho... View more

When I was 7 my mum died of leukaemia ever since then my life was changed as through my teenage years to this day I have noticed a lack of emotions and feelings that are considered normal. I feel as if I’m not sad when I should be and I don’t know how to describe it but I just done feel anything at all. My current circumstances aren’t bad at all in living comfortably and I have a caring girlfriend. I just don’t feel many emotions if any towards all situations and just life in general. I wouldn’t consider myself emotionless or empty I am struggling to put a pin on it. I’m wondering if anyone has felt the same thing as me and what’s I can do to change this. I wouldn’t consider myself in a bad or good mental state I’m just kind of living life as it is. But sometimes I just wonder why am I so empty inside it’s like grief has drained my emotions and feelings towards others.

rusti_4 It's all getting too much.
  • replies: 3

I honestly just don't know any one. I think I'm just destined to be miserable.I wrote my car off on New Year's Eve, my grandmother passed away last week and my parents just had to put one of our dogs to sleep... I'm struggling financially and just wa... View more

I honestly just don't know any one. I think I'm just destined to be miserable.I wrote my car off on New Year's Eve, my grandmother passed away last week and my parents just had to put one of our dogs to sleep... I'm struggling financially and just want to run away from everything. I can't even afford to see my doctor to get a new prescription for my ADHD.