Grief and loss

Support and advice following the loss of a family member, partner, spouse or someone close to you.

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Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

All discussions

Craig Pickersgill Loss of a partner through Suicide
  • replies: 1

11 days ago, I lost my same sex partner through suicide. We didn’t live together and we had only been close for about 5 months, but those 5 months were awesome. (We had been friends for about 2 years) We had so many plans for the future; and even tal... View more

11 days ago, I lost my same sex partner through suicide. We didn’t live together and we had only been close for about 5 months, but those 5 months were awesome. (We had been friends for about 2 years) We had so many plans for the future; and even talking about them on the weekend before when I was visiting him… less than 12 hours later he was gone… no note, no nothing. We are sure we know what/who tipped him over the edge but it cant be proven. His family have been amazing even though I had never met them, his younger brother said to me “you’re family”. It’s been overwhelming The funeral is this week, but I’m afraid of what lay on the other side… Im positive I will stay in touch with the family but I feel so empty and i am sure I missed something… He had mental health issues, but it was only voices in his head… he was mostly on the level. I am just so lost even with all the love, friendship and support around me…

Nay88 Not coping.
  • replies: 1

my nan passed away Tuesday and I'm so extremely sad, I miss her terribly just don't think I will ever get over this.

my nan passed away Tuesday and I'm so extremely sad, I miss her terribly just don't think I will ever get over this.

Kezza2002 Unexpected loss of husband & not coping
  • replies: 5

I’m not sure if writing this will help but I’m not sure what else to do. My husband passed away from a heart attack in July aged 41. He had no underlying health issues. I barely made it through Father’s Day & my birthday. Everyone keeps saying how st... View more

I’m not sure if writing this will help but I’m not sure what else to do. My husband passed away from a heart attack in July aged 41. He had no underlying health issues. I barely made it through Father’s Day & my birthday. Everyone keeps saying how strong I am but I feel like I can barely breath. The world keeps turning & people are starting to get back into things but my world has stopped. We have a 6 year old who is low functioning Autistic who keeps pointing to pictures of Dad wondering where he is. I talk about him & try to explain as much as I can. I feel like I’m letting our child & my husband down. People keep telling me they don’t know how to help & I just say that being there is all I need. But they don’t want to be there because that involves seeing me upset, which some can’t handle. I feel responsible for his death because I couldn’t save him & I didn’t act fast enough. I’ve had some counselling where they talked about the stages of grief but I feel that wasn’t enough. I couldn’t give my husband a proper send off because of the restrictions & looking back I feel his family who I don’t get along with took advantage of me but dictating what had to happen at the funeral & by taking some of his ashes. I tried to accomodate everyone but I feel I didn’t honour my husband enough. I don’t understand why this had to happen & how I’m supposed to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

BC16 Sudden loss of my young sister
  • replies: 13

Hi, a Month ago my 22yo sister passed away suddenly. She was the healthiest happiest and kindest person and I don’t understand. No one can tell us why that is was just a sudden cardiac event. I can’t sleep, I can’t talk to anyone and I feel so guilt ... View more

Hi, a Month ago my 22yo sister passed away suddenly. She was the healthiest happiest and kindest person and I don’t understand. No one can tell us why that is was just a sudden cardiac event. I can’t sleep, I can’t talk to anyone and I feel so guilt that I couldn’t protect her. My wife wants me to open up but I don’t know how.

PD08 Recently lost my sister
  • replies: 1

Hi, About 2 month’s ago I lost my sister who was just 37yo out of the blue. To say that this has knocked me and my family is an understatement. She was healthy, happy and the loving mother for 3 children. We are still waiting to know why/what happene... View more

Hi, About 2 month’s ago I lost my sister who was just 37yo out of the blue. To say that this has knocked me and my family is an understatement. She was healthy, happy and the loving mother for 3 children. We are still waiting to know why/what happened other than it was just a sudden cardiac event. I struggled to sleep and talk to anyone about it, my first response is I’m fine. I moved abroad a few years ago and now feel so guilt that I lost time with her.

Saddepressed-alone I lost my husband. My best friend. We have been together for 18 years and we worked 24 / 7
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My husband died on the 14th April from a stroke (2). We have worked and been together 24 / 7 the whole time. Yesterday would have been our 19th Anniversary. I was not paying attention as was in hospital to dates but then found out about yesterday. I ... View more

My husband died on the 14th April from a stroke (2). We have worked and been together 24 / 7 the whole time. Yesterday would have been our 19th Anniversary. I was not paying attention as was in hospital to dates but then found out about yesterday. I still can not look at our photos.I feed awful I wasn't ready for this first mile stone.i just want to join him.

tagal Husband passed away
  • replies: 10

I lost my husband of 55 years recently we had been together since I was 15 and he 17. I am completely devastated and cry all the time (except when someone is here) I find it hard to go out but manage it when I’m with my sons and there wives. I just c... View more

I lost my husband of 55 years recently we had been together since I was 15 and he 17. I am completely devastated and cry all the time (except when someone is here) I find it hard to go out but manage it when I’m with my sons and there wives. I just can’t stop thinking about him miss him so much. If anyone has any ideas how to stop this constantly thinking of him I would be very grateful.

PrincessE Help please - I am dying with grief
  • replies: 3

Please help, i am feeling so desperate, i just want to die and be with my babyI lost my beautiful girl (Golden Retriever) 5 weeks ago, I have had her since she was 6 weeks old. I am not coping with this grief and trauma and shock and don’t know what ... View more

Please help, i am feeling so desperate, i just want to die and be with my babyI lost my beautiful girl (Golden Retriever) 5 weeks ago, I have had her since she was 6 weeks old. I am not coping with this grief and trauma and shock and don’t know what to do I am scared of this becoming a deep and serious depression I just want to die and be with her, I cannot go on without her, she was my child that I just loved and adored as I don’t have children I cannot accept that she is gone and that I will never see her again I have nothing to live for without her, she was my whole world and I lived for heri cannot Live in my house because I am expecting to see her there and the realisation just shocks me I survived divorce with her by my side.I feel so traumatised and guilty that I had to make the decision as she was suffering I am not living without her, I am unable to get out of bed as have no motivation to go on, I am broken and devastated This grief and Trauma is unbearable and I cannot go on with this pain.I have nothing to go on for if I can never see her beautiful face again She was my best friend and my constant companion and I relied on her for my emotional supportI am awake all night worrying and crying and nauseous with anxiety I don’t know what to do to try and recover but I feel guilty for having a life when I took her life away from her.

Mumsgirl Lost my mum to cancer
  • replies: 4

Has anyone lost a parent to cancer and can please tell me how to cope with the unrelenting sadness and regret? I am seriously struggling with my day to day life and I feel like my kids are missing out because I just can't stop crying and I get irrita... View more

Has anyone lost a parent to cancer and can please tell me how to cope with the unrelenting sadness and regret? I am seriously struggling with my day to day life and I feel like my kids are missing out because I just can't stop crying and I get irritated so easily. My mum passed just over 5 months ago now and everyday it just get harder. I don't have have a partner, the kids dads not in the picture and not much support or other family and there's about a 3month wait for my first counciling intake appointment so im just trying to find ways to cope in the meantime if anyone has ideas?

A_lost_soul I’m drowning and I don’t know which way is up
  • replies: 2

I have complex PTSD, anxiety disorder, ADD, treatment resistant depression, etc; and the one person I relied on the most who I saw multiple times a week for 14 years, is gone forever. Adding complex grief to my never ending list of problems. I feel l... View more

I have complex PTSD, anxiety disorder, ADD, treatment resistant depression, etc; and the one person I relied on the most who I saw multiple times a week for 14 years, is gone forever. Adding complex grief to my never ending list of problems. I feel like I can’t survive. I feel like I’m so alone in this world. I need something drastic to happen or I won’t survive. But I don’t know what to do