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Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

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HelloMissEmily I feel like I'm dying
  • replies: 3

NB: If you are not an animal person, no need to read Less than 12 months ago I lost my Lab, Buddy. Woke up one morning and he was paralysed from the waist down and the vets couldn't figure out why. Shortly after, my partner and I got a puppy, a beaut... View more

NB: If you are not an animal person, no need to read Less than 12 months ago I lost my Lab, Buddy. Woke up one morning and he was paralysed from the waist down and the vets couldn't figure out why. Shortly after, my partner and I got a puppy, a beautiful Staffy x Corgi. We named her Sierra. She was our baby, and as any animal-lover knows, fur babies mean just as much as a human baby could. Yesterday, at the young age of 10 months, my partner came outside to find our little Sierra not moving, and unresponsive. He rushed her to the emergency vet only to confirm what we already feared: she had died. They suspected a snake, which was confirmed when my brother raced home to bring our other dog inside and found the dead snake in our backyard. Sierra had managed to kill it, but at the cost of her own life. She was my little baby. After losing Buddy, I thought I would never be the same, but Sierra brought a light into our lives when we needed it most, and now she's gone. I'm so angry. At myself, at the universe, at everything. And so, so, so wrecked. I miss my baby girl so much. Between losing Buddy and now her, I don't know what to do. I can't breathe. I can't stop crying. I feel like I'm dying. I also have an older Lab, Bella, who probably does not have much time left with us. When she passes..... I don't even know. I'm so lost. So confused. Why? Why did this have to happen? If I had just been home earlier, I could have brought them back inside like I always do and she would still be with us. I would have woken up this morning to a hyperactive puppy jumping on my head, instead of hyperventilating and wiping the tears from my eyes. I wouldn't have ended the day at the vet, saying goodbye to my baby girl, instead I would've stayed up way too late binge-watching on Netflix. There are so many "what if"s. So many "should have"s. So many regrets. I don't know how to get through this. I don't know if I can.

Scotty2013 I lost my companion
  • replies: 3

Well this is tough, last month i lost my companion of 4yrs Parrot, who got me through so many dark times. I've never fallen to bits so much, i thought i was going to die from distress. I'm still not right, its a tiny bit better, but now it's turned i... View more

Well this is tough, last month i lost my companion of 4yrs Parrot, who got me through so many dark times. I've never fallen to bits so much, i thought i was going to die from distress. I'm still not right, its a tiny bit better, but now it's turned into who's next?, what other bad things will happen?, i feel so down daily, some nights i cry myself to sleep. I was with him in the end, watched his poor little body give up, i think he had a lung infection, noticed his voice was a bit funny night before. I woke up to him sitting down panting, the trauma i somehow relive it daily, mentally i see it all the time his last breath?, how do i get that out of my head?. It's unfair the bond i had with him was so strong, like he knew me, I knew him. The positive thing that came from all this, his companion had babies and now i 3 nice baby parrots that look like him, but they are not him!!!, I'm trying to bond but it's difficult.. I have the fear of things being taken away from me in life, and this kind of re-affirms it, the pain is so unbearable emotionally. Anyhow perhaps time is the healer idk, i just know it's flung me into this awful depression of sorts..I'm prob rambling on thanks...TC :D.

Azza779 I'm headed for a nervous breakdown
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone i'm new here my tragic story takes place in 2009 my brother was murdered that day everything changed. I lost my best friend and though it's been 6 years i can't let go of the anger and guilt I feel, as though I should of done something to... View more

Hi everyone i'm new here my tragic story takes place in 2009 my brother was murdered that day everything changed. I lost my best friend and though it's been 6 years i can't let go of the anger and guilt I feel, as though I should of done something to stop this tragic event. Recently I met someone its not the best relationship but I have noticed I have become a cold person I don't allow intimacy to occur as i have now locked my feeling away and find it hard to express my love for my partner. We have recently moved in together. I feel that i'm at breaking point i have organized everything from the bond to the lease, utilities, purchasing the white goods. I have episodes of anxiety and feel so overwhelmed and don't enjoy these happy moments in life i feel as though i'm headed for a nervous breakdown my partner knows nothing of how i feel i should add i am also gay cheers beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community areencouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

RainbowBubble My Dad passed away recently. My Mum died a few years back. Struggling.
  • replies: 7

My parents are both gone. I'm an adult with my own family but having lost both my parents while almost all my friends and cousins still have both parents and even Grandparents. I'm really struggling to get over the feeling of being completely and utt... View more

My parents are both gone. I'm an adult with my own family but having lost both my parents while almost all my friends and cousins still have both parents and even Grandparents. I'm really struggling to get over the feeling of being completely and utterly left on my own. I do have a brother but we've never got along and I am finding it's one sided communication as I don't want to lose touch with him but it's as if I no longer exist at all. I feel as if I have no family and am trying to turn my attention to my husband and babies but it's unbelievably difficult to deal with all of this. The other thing is I feel so guilty as I'm in Australia and my Dad passed away back home in the UK. I didn't make it back in time and he passed away before I'd even got on the flight home. When we moved to Australia a year ago I promised we'd be back to visit him hopefully in 2 years for a holiday. Of course, I can't believe this has happened and I never did get to see him again. Also, my Father's passing has opened up the old feelings of when Mum died suddenly. Now I miss her more than ever and it feels unbearable that they're both gone. My Mum was my best friend before she died and we'd only really bonded like friends over the few years before she died as I'd only just moved out of their house into my own place. Sorry, I'm rambling a lot. It just all came out when I started typing. I hope you understand as I've literally no one to talk to about this now. Everyone thinks I should be trying to move on and concentrate on my own little family. My husband is a bit fed up of me to be honest. I feel like a dark cloud in their lives just now. Thanks for reading. I hope someone understands.

Ms_D How to cope with the loss of my Dad
  • replies: 8

I recently lost my Dad on New Years day after a 10 year illness. Each day it seems to get harder not easier. I feel like I have lost a piece of myself and I have no idea how to deal with his loss. I'm not used to feeling such overwhelming intense sad... View more

I recently lost my Dad on New Years day after a 10 year illness. Each day it seems to get harder not easier. I feel like I have lost a piece of myself and I have no idea how to deal with his loss. I'm not used to feeling such overwhelming intense sadness. I don't sleep, I can't concentrate on anything and I physically feel unwell. He was such an amazing man, an amazing Dad and Pop to my 2 young boys. I don't know how to process what I'm feeling.

fishes time doesnt heal my grief
  • replies: 8

hi everyone I am new here .three and a half years ago I lost my husband and cant seem to move on. I have tried and even at times seemed to be on the right track. Then a problem would come up ,the house or extra bills and I panic and miss him so much.... View more

hi everyone I am new here .three and a half years ago I lost my husband and cant seem to move on. I have tried and even at times seemed to be on the right track. Then a problem would come up ,the house or extra bills and I panic and miss him so much. He was my rock for thirty years and looked after me when my epilepsy turned me into a vegetable. Bought me back to life again. made the decisions and sheltered me from all the worries. now I am alone and lonely and feel I have nowhere to turn. my local GP is run off his feet and doesn't even look at you ,let alone invite confidences. the nearest other clinic is 50kms. I cant make friends and my family are all living away. some days when I have no reason to leave the house I just stay in bed and read. I even joined the local mental health group ,we don't even talk.so that was a waste of time. Ended up at the pokies just to get out of the house and they became a big problem.so it was a call to lifeline and self barring .only way to stop that. Trouble is I am even more isolated now. am I just feeling selfpity? or am I heading for something much worse?

Unanswered_questions Unanswered questions - loss of brother
  • replies: 2

Hello, first off I hope everyone is doing as best as they can as I'm sure we are all here searching for ways to cope and to even understand other people's thoughts and processes. I have recently lost my older brother, he tragically took his own life ... View more

Hello, first off I hope everyone is doing as best as they can as I'm sure we are all here searching for ways to cope and to even understand other people's thoughts and processes. I have recently lost my older brother, he tragically took his own life without much explanation or warning. I do not know how or where to begin but would love to know if there is support groups or places in Adelaide where people who have been through traumatic events can come together as I struggle to relate to my friends as they don't quite get how I feel. As I don't truly understand how I feel... There is numbness, anger, sadness, love, all in one.

Jamie3 Fear of death or existentialism.
  • replies: 6

When I was 10 I lost my father to Aids. I didn't understand the reasons or the permanency of death. Now as a 30 year old I constantly ask myself how can I not exist? Why am I here? Why did my dad die? How can I not be me? It makes no sense and it sca... View more

When I was 10 I lost my father to Aids. I didn't understand the reasons or the permanency of death. Now as a 30 year old I constantly ask myself how can I not exist? Why am I here? Why did my dad die? How can I not be me? It makes no sense and it scares me to the point of tears. I have a 6 and 5 year old and I know that not only will I die but they will to. Does anyone else ever have these thoughts? Or is there something wrong with me?

7andme Feeling overwhelmed & scared
  • replies: 4

Hi, I lost my dad this August he was 54yrs old & his death was unexpected. He had been sick for about 2 years but his disease was always making him sick & then he would get better again. My sister & I left in May this year to travel Europe for 4 mont... View more

Hi, I lost my dad this August he was 54yrs old & his death was unexpected. He had been sick for about 2 years but his disease was always making him sick & then he would get better again. My sister & I left in May this year to travel Europe for 4 months & then live in London we both quit our jobs & where just wanting to find ourselves. Dad seemed like he was doing better so off we went & 3 months in we had to urgently return home, we got 5 days with him although he was never conscious we got to be by his side when he passed. There is just so much regret & guilt now. I'm just lost I have to find a new job & be in a home without him. At the moment me, my sister & mum don't really talk about what we are feeling, it scares me to know how bad they hurt I hate it. I feel like I have no direction anymore our whole world is different & I just feel anxious. I have an interview tomorrow & im so stressed about it, it feels like once I have job reality is going to hit. My sister & I couldn't wait to get out of our sydney. Now we are back here & trying to face life without my dad. He was an amazing man & he held our family together. He didn't deserve to be taken away so early. I just don't know how to go about everyday life & be happy. Any advice would be great.

Chicken_Wings I think I'm grieving?
  • replies: 3

I think I might be grieving for my mum, problem is she hasn't passed away. she has cancer and so its inevitable that I will have to say goodbye, but I think part of my anxiety and depression is that I'm already grieving for her? I don't want to be li... View more

I think I might be grieving for my mum, problem is she hasn't passed away. she has cancer and so its inevitable that I will have to say goodbye, but I think part of my anxiety and depression is that I'm already grieving for her? I don't want to be like this, I want to go and see her ( she is in the uk) and I want to make the most of the time I have, but I feel almost crippled with these feelings. I want to be strong but I can't find a way to do it. i skyped with her yesterday and I was looking at her realising how I'll she was and how much she has changed and I cried and she cried. I miss her so much already I feel like I'm going to completely lose myself. i don't know if anyone will have any insights or helpful words, but I just wanted to get this out of my head and I will talk to my psychologist about it when I see him next.