Grief and loss

Support and advice following the loss of a family member, partner, spouse or someone close to you.

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Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

All discussions

Craig1676 Coping with loss after a suicide
  • replies: 2

Hello. sorry I'm a new member and if I've posted this in the wrong place, moderators please feel free to remove this. I lost a best friend three months ago due to suicide, unfortunately I found him after he had taken his life. I live in a small commu... View more

Hello. sorry I'm a new member and if I've posted this in the wrong place, moderators please feel free to remove this. I lost a best friend three months ago due to suicide, unfortunately I found him after he had taken his life. I live in a small community and the support I've received is amazing but I'm yet to open up about how I'm feeling, simply because I don't know how to feel. I've completely avoided coming to terms with what has happened and I've put all my energy into making sure everyone else around me is dealing with it. recently another close friend has been self harming and the thought of losing her is keeping me awake at night. It's draining me. my question is, has anyone got any advice or tips that'll help me get back to my normal self. I know it won't be an easy process but I need to do something. I'm sorry if I've triggered or offended anyone. Thank you.

Lonelydan I lost a friend to suicide
  • replies: 16

My heart is broken my darling friend Alen decided to take his own life over the weekend he was the sweetest soul never hurt anyone. Survivor of childhood abuse Who fought every day of his life to try and overcome it. I'm so sorry baby I wished you ha... View more

My heart is broken my darling friend Alen decided to take his own life over the weekend he was the sweetest soul never hurt anyone. Survivor of childhood abuse Who fought every day of his life to try and overcome it. I'm so sorry baby I wished you had of called me oh told you I was here for you any time I love you forever I will miss you xxxxxxxxx

happyannie Memories of Grief but Love
  • replies: 4

Well Im feeling really down and depressed and my mind has been so focused on the one thing today its starting to make my head spin. You see today would have been my beautiful Dads Birthday he would have been 91 years old, but sadly he passed away 6 y... View more

Well Im feeling really down and depressed and my mind has been so focused on the one thing today its starting to make my head spin. You see today would have been my beautiful Dads Birthday he would have been 91 years old, but sadly he passed away 6 years ago. My Dad was my best friend we used to have the best conversations about all kinds of things,we made wonderful memories together, but it breaks my heart I miss him so much, I still talk to him in my mind daily, I have photos of him all around the house, I remember he used to double me on his mobility scooter. So as hard a day its been for me I've just tried to relive the good times I was with him when he passed away and we got to tell each other how much we loved each other So rest in peace my beautiful Dad and Happy Birthday Love Annie

Skankit Griefstricken
  • replies: 3

I wasn't sure where to post about this. It didn't seem to fit in any of the categories i recently lost my dog in a tragic accident. He was much more than a dog to me he was everything. I am single and live alone, he was my whole life. He gave my life... View more

I wasn't sure where to post about this. It didn't seem to fit in any of the categories i recently lost my dog in a tragic accident. He was much more than a dog to me he was everything. I am single and live alone, he was my whole life. He gave my life purpose for the first time. I rescued him from a horrible life and we only had 4 and a half short months together. He made me so incredibly happy, happier than I have ever been I have never loved anyone or anything the way that I loved him. I'm just hurting so much. Constantly feeling like I don't want to live without him and fighting so hard to keep going. i have so much support around me but it just isn't helping. I feel lost and empty and I just don't know how to cope i have always had depression and right now I just feel like I am at rock bottom. I can't even function, even though I have sought professional help from a doctor and a psychologist. I'm struggling so much

gld Improving things after a suicide [grief and loss]
  • replies: 4

After reading a post in the Dr Kim's section and the scriber was talking about a colleague committing suicide after losing their job. They spoke about writing a letter to the employer about things that were going on, also policy/procedures issues and... View more

After reading a post in the Dr Kim's section and the scriber was talking about a colleague committing suicide after losing their job. They spoke about writing a letter to the employer about things that were going on, also policy/procedures issues and should they be afraid of losing their job. I feel making issues relating to policy and procedure is vital for a company, it is great to make improvements for employers and employees. If it could be done in a manner where there is no finger pointing or blame even better. I feel if i was going to write a letter like this, i feel it could be more beneficial done by a group of staff representatives so they know how staff are feeling on certain issues. Talk to other employees to gather other feedback on the issues you are going to put forward to your employer. It is a very sad thing to lose someone you know or work with to suicide and my believe is that we as a whole need to be more in tune to how people present at different times also approaching someone if they seem out of character. If employers are not this way the employees could create an environment that is made to feel people could approach others before things become too heavy for them. What are others opinion on this subject? Gen

Ahjlees My beautiful Grandpa's
  • replies: 2

I am really struggling to cope with the loss of my beautiful Grandpa's. My Paternal Pop passed away in April and my Maternal Pop in June. They were both living with me and my family at the time and gained their wings as they slept, which has compound... View more

I am really struggling to cope with the loss of my beautiful Grandpa's. My Paternal Pop passed away in April and my Maternal Pop in June. They were both living with me and my family at the time and gained their wings as they slept, which has compounded my grief. I am trying to focus on the fact they have both reunited with their soul mates, my beautiful Nana's, but it only provides so much comfort. The constant talk of their estates and the knowledge that their houses will be sold by years end and most likely knocked down makes me feel I have lost them all, all over again. It nearly broke me the first time. With us recently having our first Father's Day with out them, and various heartbreaking days ahead; their birthdays coming up in November and December, the anniversaries, especially the 7 month anniversary of my Paternal Pop's passing (which happens to fall on the 17 year anniversary of my Paternal Nana's passing and the 5 month anniversary of the day we laid my Maternal Pop to rest), our first Christmas without them and our last at my Paternal Grandparents home and then starting the new year, with them in heaven instead of here with us. It is all too much. We aren't just dealing with our grief though; my parents, older sister and I are all dealing with health issues, my father is going through legal proceedings with work (from which he retired 2 years ago), my brother is living at our Grandparents house and is dealing with having to find a new home and I lost my job in May. I want to be there for them through everything but I can't even help myself. I feel so alone and am struggling to hold it together. I love my Grandparents so much and miss them beyond words.

Crabapple How do I talk about it? How do I grieve?
  • replies: 5

Hi, I am new here. Two weeks ago I lost my dear friend and mentor, my Grandmother. We were incredibly close and I had been heavily involved in her care until she passed. Before the funeral I just felt like a robot- going through all the processes, su... View more

Hi, I am new here. Two weeks ago I lost my dear friend and mentor, my Grandmother. We were incredibly close and I had been heavily involved in her care until she passed. Before the funeral I just felt like a robot- going through all the processes, supporting my dad, helping with funeral arrangements. After the funeral, it hit me really hard and now I don't know what to do. I am still incredibly upset but it's like no one cares anymore, as in, now the funeral is over the grieving is meant to be finished?? Or I'm meant to be 'over it'? I don't know what is normal. I think about her almost every minute, I choke up at the thought I can never see her again. I am holding it all in as I feel like no one wants to hear it anymore. I don't know what to do.

Shirtpants Father committed suicide
  • replies: 2

Hi,Almost two weeks ago my father committed suicide.I spent the first couple of days tearing everything apart trying to find answers to questions that werent always important; finding out his last movements, if it was planned for some time.I accepted... View more

Hi,Almost two weeks ago my father committed suicide.I spent the first couple of days tearing everything apart trying to find answers to questions that werent always important; finding out his last movements, if it was planned for some time.I accepted a lot of the questions werent important and i let them go.There was a lot of family drama i was caught between up until the funeral. During the funeral, i barely shed a tear and i feel like i just dont care. In my head i know he is gone but im not sure i know that in my body. Im really confused by how i feel.I considered viewing the body but chose not to, but now i think it may have helped me?Will it come out eventually? How will itt come out? Any information would be appreciated.

WraithWithin Overwhelmed by my brothers loss
  • replies: 1

A few weeks ago my brothers fience died. He move back home with us (parents and I),and im feeling overwhelmed. I've been suffering major depression for 15 years; I'm agoraphobic, have social anxiety, and schizotypal PD. I'm a loner, highly sensitive ... View more

A few weeks ago my brothers fience died. He move back home with us (parents and I),and im feeling overwhelmed. I've been suffering major depression for 15 years; I'm agoraphobic, have social anxiety, and schizotypal PD. I'm a loner, highly sensitive to exteral stimulus (sounds, sights, smells etc.). I need complete isolation in order to unwind, which I usually have my own space. But now my brother has moved in and I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I don't want to take away from his loss but I am not coping. I'm becoming snappish, highly agitated and relying on anti anxietys too much. My parents are under huge stess, they're picking up the slack for everything. I can't add to that. But i am not coping. How do I tell my grieving brother to leave me alone and get out of my personal space?

Spudnik I just lost my friend to suicide
  • replies: 8

This is my first post. Today I discovered my friend took his life two days ago. He had been battling for a while with custody issues with his ex wife. He's seen his kids a total of 2 days this year. I guess it got too much for him. As we'd both been ... View more

This is my first post. Today I discovered my friend took his life two days ago. He had been battling for a while with custody issues with his ex wife. He's seen his kids a total of 2 days this year. I guess it got too much for him. As we'd both been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts, we made a pact that we'd call each other if either of us got to that dark place. He didn't call. I'm feeling a range of things but one emotion that concerns me is envy. I find myself wishing I had the courage to go through with it. I know I need help but I don't know what to say. I've had counselling but I'm very hard on myself and tend to scoff at people trying to justify my feelings. I don't know what I'm expecting but just thought I should put something out there.