In my 40th year, I finally found the courage to speak my truth and
report my Childhood Sexual abuse from the ages of 6- 13 years old,
perpetrated by my stepfather. I grew up in a very large extended family.
My mother had 4 sisters all married with ch...
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In my 40th year, I finally found the courage to speak my truth and
report my Childhood Sexual abuse from the ages of 6- 13 years old,
perpetrated by my stepfather. I grew up in a very large extended family.
My mother had 4 sisters all married with children, so a large group of
cousins and we were all very close. My relationship at around my 40's,
with most of my family including my mother and 2 step brothers (born
after my abuse) was extremely strained, to say the least. One of the
biggest factors contributing to this breakdown was that my mother
initially believed me when I finally told her when I was 15. She left my
abuser, then apparently did a backflip after attending counselling
sessions together. In those sessions in the mid 80's, he admitted the
abuse to the Department of Families and Communities investigators and
used a recent stint in jail for Heroin Possession as his reason. The
department deemed me no longer at risk of the abuse as I was living out
of home by then in various squat houses, on the streets and couch
surfing, emergency accommodation, Juvenile lock up. Basically anywhere
away from my abuser was apparently deemed safer. My mother spent around
6 months apart from him before asking me to allow her to go back to him
and then stayed for another 18 years and had 2 kids to him. For the next
3- 4 years I really tried to live with my abuser in my life to keep the
peace as he was still with my mother. At 17, I was pregnant with a child
I was determined to keep. At 18yrs old, I had my daughter and my
boundaries became very tight. I started pushing back on my mothers lie
to live in denial. She never wanted to mention the abuse again and the
rug she kept shoving stuff under was getting a really big bulge under
it. I haven't spoken to my mother since 2010, next year it will be 10
years of no contact. From the snippets I have heard over the years, my
mother has told my family that my abuse report to Police was a lie and I
was only out to get money. My blood family not contacted me since my
report and subsequent 5yr court battle until recently one of my cousins
I was close to growing up called me and told me never to contact him
again as he had to protect his children from people like me. I know that
says more about him than it does about me, but man it still cuts deep
and really hurts your heart. Day to Day now its not so bad, it shifts,
if that makes sense? Id love to connect with others in this boat, How do
you manage your estrangement?
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