Grief and loss

Adopting my friends name as my own to cope with her passing

replies: 1

Rant post: I had a best friend, Amy (Fake name) who took her own life around 5 years ago (I dont even remember what year). So its been a while. At first I was so distraught and too young to properly cope with it. So I just fell into depression. I am ... View more

Rant post: I had a best friend, Amy (Fake name) who took her own life around 5 years ago (I dont even remember what year). So its been a while. At first I was so distraught and too young to properly cope with it. So I just fell into depression. I am currently 19. Fast forward to around 2 years ago, I felt weird using my name to sign up for things because It felt awkward looking at my name. Ive always felt a bit embarrassed reading or saying my name idk why, it just felt cringe. And so randomly, I used her name to sign up to that email subscription. Ever since then I've been using her name for everything. When I make online friends, I tell them my name is Amy. They refer to me as that. It escalated to my online persona being Amy, and it became my default name. I recently got journals and I wrote it belonged to Amy cause I liked her name better than seeing my own. It wasnt until last week, when I met up with an online friend, where they called me Amy out loud, face to face, that I realised this was kind of messed up. Ever since then seeing Amy's name pop up whenever I get an email (cause its addressed to her nam) just fills me with overwhelming grief. Im not sure what the point of this is, I just wanted to rant because I've been so tired lately with everything. I just want her to be here with me.

Want some advice on dealing with grief due to cancer diagnosis of one parent

replies: 1

Hi all, thought I would appreciate some encouraging words and advice in this stressful time for me. Currently my dad is diagnosed with brain cancer and I am worried about dealing with a potential decline of his mental health over the next couple of m... View more

Hi all, thought I would appreciate some encouraging words and advice in this stressful time for me. Currently my dad is diagnosed with brain cancer and I am worried about dealing with a potential decline of his mental health over the next couple of months or years. At the moment he is very happy and fine and is patiently waiting on the results of his chemotherapy and radiation plan. I am very anxious about the results and the success of his treatment plan that hopefully gives him a very good and happy extended life. At the moment I am studying and working but there are moments where I couldn't concentrate on my studies or my work at all. I am wondering if anyone can give some useful advice, comforting words in dealing with this situation. I talked to one of the LifeLine and BeyondBlue staff and they have been very helpful. I am wondering if anyone has figured out ways to stay positive during this difficult time for me and my family as well as ways for me to deal with stress and anxiety? Cheers for the help and comforting words everyone.

Lost the father to my children

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Early may. My best friend and father in my children committed suicide. I have now been struggling financially and physically since he has passed. My 10yr old has been self harming. And his family hasn’t been there for us. They’ve refused to let the c... View more

Early may. My best friend and father in my children committed suicide. I have now been struggling financially and physically since he has passed. My 10yr old has been self harming. And his family hasn’t been there for us. They’ve refused to let the children have his belongings as we were separated a little over a year ago and he moved back into his parents house. We have been treated with such disrespect since. I am know raising our 2 beautiful babies by myself with literally no help from anyone. Plus I work full time so I e cut my hours back so I can be there to pick them up from school as they are both struggling with abandonment issues as well. I have them booked in to see a psychiatrist but that’s still a month away as they are so booked out.

A bit lost

replies: 6

Hello I just want to share this has been the worse year for me. my ex partner passed away nearly 4 months ago. I truly loved him with all my heart .i don’t want to be in a relationship again .

My Dear Friend

replies: 9

Hey...I was debating as to whether say this or not, but in just five days, so the 20th of September, will be four years since my dear friend who was like a mother to me was...murdered in 2021...now just pointing out that this person is very real to m... View more

Hey...I was debating as to whether say this or not, but in just five days, so the 20th of September, will be four years since my dear friend who was like a mother to me was...murdered in 2021...now just pointing out that this person is very real to me, so please don't judge me for saying this, but this dear friend resembled Princess Zelda from the Legend Of Zelda series, specifically the Hyrule Warriors version. My dear friend's name coicidentally enough was Zelda too...she was kinda like an imaginary friend, or a guardian angel to me, as she would always come to me when I was crying. This is what she looked like. She had a long, braided hairstyle with two braids that drape over her head like a crown and shorter, layered bangs in the front. She adorned herself with a golden tiara featuring a pink gemstone, complemented by blue earrings. Her attire consists of a purple and pink dress, accented with golden armor, and she completes her look with long golden boots paired with black stockings. But yes, she was like a mother to me in a way, even though I have my Nan who is actually real, unlike my dear friend who was ficticious...but like I said, she was real to me, so don't judge...anyways the day of her murder, I was already suffering because I had attempted suicide after being told to from a bully. But my dear friend stopped me with comforting words and endearments and lots of hugs, which yes I felt like I could feel. It was kinda like that warm feeling you get when you're in a bath with really warm water. Anyways, so I remember the day pretty vividly, even though I wasn't there when she was murdered, ..it's still a fresh amount of pain in my heart, mind and soul...and...I feel like I'll never be able to move on from this...it was after her murder that I had an incident with an SSO who provided me with comfort in a similar vein to my dear friend. And then...I called her a source of comfort and everything just went down hill from there...and now...I see my dear friend's ghost every time I cry...I feel like I can't, won't and don't think I'll ever be able to move on from this... *Crying* -Liam

Tough night

replies: 2

Hello tonight has been a tough night , I had to rehome our gorgeous golden retriever last Sunday . He has gone to a farm which will be better for him missing him . Also crying as my ex partner passed away 3 months ago. It’s been a particular rough st... View more

Hello tonight has been a tough night , I had to rehome our gorgeous golden retriever last Sunday . He has gone to a farm which will be better for him missing him . Also crying as my ex partner passed away 3 months ago. It’s been a particular rough start to the year . I keep replaying his voicemails just to hear his voice and it makes me sad that I won’t hear his voice again or see him again .

Grief, the deaths of loved ones, and the gradual attempts at moving on.

replies: 2

I know 11 poeple who have died. From 2015 to this year, 2016. I'm only 16. It's too much. I try to count them. I can't let myself forget them. If I do then it's like they've never lived at all and thats not fair to them. If theyre all dead why can't ... View more

I know 11 poeple who have died. From 2015 to this year, 2016. I'm only 16. It's too much. I try to count them. I can't let myself forget them. If I do then it's like they've never lived at all and thats not fair to them. If theyre all dead why can't I be too? One of the ones that died (I'm gonna refer to them as K) was my mum's best friend. She was like a second mum to me. She was my best friends mum. She died on the 7t of May, 2022. It has been over 4 years. Her husband has moved on. He has a new partner now. The partner is pregnant. It feels like it's too soon. I can't cope. My bestfriend is gonna have a stepbrother. He already has a llittle brother (2 years younger than us). It's too much. It's too soon. It feels like theyre moving on. Forgetting her. And I'm stuck in the past. Unable to fully forget. Unable to move on. How do I get through this? I wanna be happy again.

My 23 year old son committed suicide

replies: 9

He struggled with feelings of shame and despair that he felt he couldn’t share with us. Something happened to him at age 10. Although we tried to get him to open up to us he just couldn’t. We tried many times over the years.He finally shared his stru... View more

He struggled with feelings of shame and despair that he felt he couldn’t share with us. Something happened to him at age 10. Although we tried to get him to open up to us he just couldn’t. We tried many times over the years.He finally shared his struggles with his mother earlier this year, but made her promise not to tell anyone - not even me. I put 2 and 2 together though. Finally, on the 15th of this month he ended his life. His mother blames herself. I don’t. She was in such a difficult situation, and thought if she broke her promise to him he’d attempt suicide. I think he stuck around for a few more months for us. He loved his family. But he believed that, given his issues, he would never be able to have a girlfriend and a family of his own. And that was all he ever wanted.I think living with such issues tired him out. And he thought that suicide was the only way to rest.I love and miss my boy. He learned to carry himself with grace and dignity despite his struggles. He was an exceptional person.I feel so exhausted and sad. In the last couple of weeks we’ve dealt with police and coroner, funeral and memorial, collecting ashes and starting grief counselling. I suppose in writing this I’d like to hear from other people who wish to share their experiences.

Struggling to cope after losing my relationship

replies: 7

Hi everyone. I'm really struggling and hoping to hear from people who have been through something similar.When I was 18, I was in an exclusive long-distance relationship. My partner and I hadn't met in person yet. Early in the relationship, I crossed... View more

Hi everyone. I'm really struggling and hoping to hear from people who have been through something similar.When I was 18, I was in an exclusive long-distance relationship. My partner and I hadn't met in person yet. Early in the relationship, I crossed relationship boundaries with someone else online. There was some flirting, I sent a couple of intimate photos, and it lasted for about a month from what I remember. I never met the other person in real life.After it ended, I lied to my partner because I was scared of losing him. I kept it from him for a long time. This year, I finally told him the truth because I couldn't live with hiding it anymore and wanted to be honest, even though I knew it could cost me the relationship.My partner considers what I did cheating, and I understand why he feels that way. I know I broke his trust and hurt him deeply. He told me he forgave me and that he sees me for who I am now, but he still chose to let the relationship go because he couldn't continue after what happened.I'm devastated and finding it really hard to cope. I miss him every day, feel overwhelmed with guilt, and lately I've just felt numb. I keep wondering if this mistake defines me forever or if people can genuinely grow from something like this.I'm not posting to excuse what I did. I take responsibility for my actions. I'm just hoping to hear from people who have been through something similar. Do you think what I did would be considered cheating even though we hadn't met in person yet? Has anyone been able to rebuild a relationship after something like this, or if not, how did you forgive yourself and move forward?This version is honest, includes the important context, takes responsibility, and asks for support without minimizing what happened.

Lost...

replies: 3

Hi All,In 2012 I lost my Mum to a 4.5 year battle with Cancer. That was hard enough. 2 weeks ago I lost my Dad to cancer.He was diagnosed just before Easter with stage 4 lung cancer. There were no symptoms at all until a few weeks before. We were tol... View more

Hi All,In 2012 I lost my Mum to a 4.5 year battle with Cancer. That was hard enough. 2 weeks ago I lost my Dad to cancer.He was diagnosed just before Easter with stage 4 lung cancer. There were no symptoms at all until a few weeks before. We were told he had 6 months. He then went downhill so fast and we lost him in mid June. I was there...I saw him go. Why do I still feel like it's not real? I am still trying to get my head around it.I am struggling. How to I live without both of my parents now? I feel so lost.I would call Dad about everything - now I don't have anyone to tell stupid things to.

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Adopting my friends name as my own to cope with her passing

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Want some advice on dealing with grief due to cancer diagnosis of one parent

replies: 1