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Grief and loss

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BeyondBlue Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 0

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and annivers... View more

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This - and anything in between - is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to share your grief, and let others support you. Please be aware that discussions in this section of the Forums may include references to self-harm and suicide. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. If need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Griefline – between 8am and 8pm (AEST), call 1300 845 745 to chat with a specially trained volunteer You are not alone in this, and we are here to support one another. Thank you for being here. Kind regards,Beyond Blue

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Guest_30824505 I miss you too much
  • replies: 18

I lost my mother in 2011. It still feels like yesterday. She was my best friend and I'm still struggling with her not being here. I want to move forward with my life for my kids, but I can't seem to get there. I wish I could let her go. Im so scared ... View more

I lost my mother in 2011. It still feels like yesterday. She was my best friend and I'm still struggling with her not being here. I want to move forward with my life for my kids, but I can't seem to get there. I wish I could let her go. Im so scared I'll forget her. I just wish it was all a bad dream. My partner of 15yrs is not empathetic and so when I'm upset he tells me to just get over it and I'm being pathetic. Honestly, I do feel pathetic and totally alone. Even after 15yrs I still feel like I'm still a stranger to him.Please help me to be able to move on by myself because I dont have anyone else

Gravity Death of an estranged parent
  • replies: 4

Hi all, My father passed away nearly 4 weeks ago, we had been estranged for well over 15 years, with the last time we actually spoke being a negative experience for us both. I was told by a family member 2 days before he passed away that he was not d... View more

Hi all, My father passed away nearly 4 weeks ago, we had been estranged for well over 15 years, with the last time we actually spoke being a negative experience for us both. I was told by a family member 2 days before he passed away that he was not doing well and had been moved to palliative care. It was at this point that I decided to go see him before he passed on, as he had no other family around him (he wasn't known for maintaining relationships) and I didn't want him to pass on without saying my goodbyes. I drove the 3 hours from my home to where has was, the drive seemed like an eternity with a million things rushing through my head, as well as emotions I didn't expect to feel given the time that had passed and the relationship we had. I stayed with him at the hospital until he passed away from lung and heart failure. Witnessing a man who was also so strong struggle to breathe, was definitely the most confronting and overwhelming thing I have ever done in my life. Even now I'm still feelings overwhelmed but still somewhat numb by seeing that.The numbness finally gave way to sadness, further complicated by the fact he had to will, no funeral plan etc. I am the youngest of 4 children, 3 (including myself) are still alive, I was left to handle everything from trying to sort out his financial and legal obligations to making the funeral arrangements and paying for them also. I have received nothing but abuse from one of my older siblings for doing all of the above, meanwhile no one else was doing anything. So needless to say, the death of my father has caused a lot of grief, sadness and massive feelings of being overwhelmed. Just when I think I am going okay with everything, I often feel this crushing weight of emotions that I can't even begin to describe. I know it is very early days but please someone tell me if gets easier. I feel broken on a daily basis.

Hope_1 Heartbreak
  • replies: 2

My boyfriend broke up with me just over a week ago. I knew it was coming eventually I just wish it didn’t happen. I’m so attached to him and that makes it worse I feel like my life is crashing down and I have nothing to live for or look forward to in... View more

My boyfriend broke up with me just over a week ago. I knew it was coming eventually I just wish it didn’t happen. I’m so attached to him and that makes it worse I feel like my life is crashing down and I have nothing to live for or look forward to in my life. He broke up with me because he was struggling and really overwhelmed with work and uni and he needed to work on himself so he can be better for me. He said he didn’t want to stay with me if he knew the stress was going to over consume his life and he wouldn’t be able to be there as much for me and give me what I need in a relationship. He has more of an avoidant attachment style and I have more of an anxious but for the last 2 months I’ve actively been trying to be better for him and knowing that he couldn’t put in the same effort for us hurts. We are still in contact because he said he doesn’t want to lose me and I don’t want to lose him either but I can feel him getting colder each day. I know he still loves me and misses me but I also know he’s emotionally withdrawing and there’s nothing I can do to stop that when all I want is him back. I feel so confused like how can he love me but not have the capacity to be in a relationship, I’m in a weird state of limbo. We have been together for over a year and friends for over 2 years, it sucks that I’m not just losing a partner but a friend. I feel like I gave him every part of my heart and soul and he just broke me. I feel so discarded and unimportant. The worst part is I’m not mad at him, I just miss him and I don’t know how to cope with losing someone that is still so important to me

Guest_95180806 Lost my mum when i was aged 5months old
  • replies: 1

I've now outlived her..i never realised how much of a profound impact its had on me. I never meet anyone from the same situation as me..I feel envy when someone mentions having had a mum for x years and they got that..I know there's so many ppl going... View more

I've now outlived her..i never realised how much of a profound impact its had on me. I never meet anyone from the same situation as me..I feel envy when someone mentions having had a mum for x years and they got that..I know there's so many ppl going thru worse.. I wonder if she would of taught me things, showed me how to do makeup or bailed me out when I was stuck with no way home.i wants to become a mother myself now and yeah its been 30 yrs now but each year gets harder. I miss you mum I wish u were here to guide me and teach me..ive needed you so many times I know almost nothing about u as its information that doesn't exist..

resistor Loss of companion animal
  • replies: 4

Hi all. It's been a while. I hope you are taking care of yourselves. This post to share my deeply personal feelings. I'm not altered and don't need immediate help. I just need a friendly ear. Today I had to let my beloved pet go. He was an end stage ... View more

Hi all. It's been a while. I hope you are taking care of yourselves. This post to share my deeply personal feelings. I'm not altered and don't need immediate help. I just need a friendly ear. Today I had to let my beloved pet go. He was an end stage cancer survivor. It's not the first pet I've said goodbye to. It won't be the last. It won't ever get easier. I find loss difficult to accept at first. Although grief isn't unfamiliar, it always hits hard. I still miss past pets from years ago. I have always loved animals and find emotional connexion with them easier than with people. I've been reading through the other posts on this forum, and I'm struck at the loss which everyone has faced. I realize losing a pet is not the same as a loved one, but the grief is no less. Pets are part of our family, and they have lives too. The love they give and receive are no less (it's just communicated differently). I will miss the warmth and comfort of his snuggle. xxx

Faithnomore Broken
  • replies: 13

Hoping there is someone out there who may have experienced something similar to what I am currently going through and who may be able to point me in the right direction with regard to getting some help. I've attempted to contact all the usual suspect... View more

Hoping there is someone out there who may have experienced something similar to what I am currently going through and who may be able to point me in the right direction with regard to getting some help. I've attempted to contact all the usual suspects including homeless and mental health organisations, but it's a waste of time. I've even taken myself to 5 different hospitals across two states begining for help, but when you present to the emergency departments of hospitals as a homeless person the hospitals put you on the bottom of the priority list which means you you sit in the waiting room for 12 hours or more until you give up which is what the hospital is hoping you will do. To cut a very long story short, 18 months ago I was scammed out of my life savings and needed to be rescued from overseas by the embassy. I was a financially secure 59 year old man at the time who had just taken early retirement. The embassy paid for my flight back to Australia and dropped me at Sydney airport. I needed to hitchhike back to my home town of Port Macquarie because I didn't even have enough money to buy a train or bus ticket. After filling out police reports for the theft of my money I realised that I was never going to see my money again and had to come to terms with now being 60 years old, broke and homeless. The past 18 months have been hell and it has broken me mentally. The stress of it all has led to me becoming very ill, both mentally and physically. Finding medical assistance once you have homeless written on your medical file is almost impossible. Doctors don't take you seriously and hospitals think you are only after a free bed for the night. If anyone has any advice it would be much appreciated. Cheers

Anwar Grief loss of baby
  • replies: 5

Hi I have a beautiful 14 month old baby girl and just lost my second baby girl due to kidney problems. I had a very difficult pregnancy and birth in both cases and my first baby has hip dyslasia and so has had procedures and hip spica cast and is sti... View more

Hi I have a beautiful 14 month old baby girl and just lost my second baby girl due to kidney problems. I had a very difficult pregnancy and birth in both cases and my first baby has hip dyslasia and so has had procedures and hip spica cast and is still requiring treatment. After losing my second baby there is a large possibility that I might not be able to carry a third child. I am physically and emotionally unwell and feel like this is affecting my relationships especially with my husband as well as the way I raise and take care of my daughter. I'm just reaching out to anyone who may have experienced something similar and what helped them cope and manage everyday life and accepting what happened. I have very supportive parents but at times I feel like everyone has their own lives to deal with. Thankyou for taking the time to read what I've experienced.

BeyondBlue Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 0

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and annivers... View more

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This - and anything in between - is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to share your grief, and let others support you. Please be aware that discussions in this section of the Forums may include references to self-harm and suicide. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. If need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Griefline – between 8am and 8pm (AEST), call 1300 845 745 to chat with a specially trained volunteer You are not alone in this, and we are here to support one another. Thank you for being here. Kind regards,Beyond Blue

BradyBird Alone and losing best friend to cancer
  • replies: 2

My world is crumbling again.In January 2010 I lost my aunty to a car accident. 2 months later I lost my dad to an overdose of drugs. 3 years after that I lost my Nan to old age and then 2 years after that I lost my Pop to old age as well. (My Nan and... View more

My world is crumbling again.In January 2010 I lost my aunty to a car accident. 2 months later I lost my dad to an overdose of drugs. 3 years after that I lost my Nan to old age and then 2 years after that I lost my Pop to old age as well. (My Nan and Pop raised me). My 4 closest family members all gone within 5 years.Now only just last week I have found out my best friend of 8 years has been diagnosed with stage 4 incurable liver cancer and has been told he only has a life expectancy of 12-24 months or in some cases maybe 5 years, depending how his body reacts to the treatment.My world has been shattered and my heart broken into a million pieces once again. I don't want to lose him!! I don't want to say goodbye!!!I don't have any other real friends and the only family support I have is one sister who is just about to start a family of her own. So I feel so lost I'm 45, single, no partner or kids, I live alone and I'm so scared about the future and feel so lonely. I can feel myself spiralling into a deep dark depression again.I'm not even sure what I'm looking for on here, maybe a friend, maybe someone who can relate, someone to talk to, I dunno but I needed to reach out to see if it would help. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.Much love!!

Guest_13583523 Lost
  • replies: 2

Hi,I've had a lot going on. Especially the past 4 years.I'd already had significant people pass away before 4 years ago. But approximately 4years ago I lost my best friend to a heart attack. Kylee was 50. She left on 18 December 2021. 9 months later,... View more

Hi,I've had a lot going on. Especially the past 4 years.I'd already had significant people pass away before 4 years ago. But approximately 4years ago I lost my best friend to a heart attack. Kylee was 50. She left on 18 December 2021. 9 months later, my Mum passed. My Dad passed in February this year.I am struggling. I would love to hear from anyone out there ‍🩹