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BeyondBlue Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 0

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and annivers... View more

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This - and anything in between - is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to share your grief, and let others support you. Please be aware that discussions in this section of the Forums may include references to self-harm and suicide. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. If need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Griefline – between 8am and 8pm (AEST), call 1300 845 745 to chat with a specially trained volunteer You are not alone in this, and we are here to support one another. Thank you for being here. Kind regards,Beyond Blue

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Mario_Sonic My Dear Friend
  • replies: 3

Hey...I was debating as to whether say this or not, but in just five days, so the 20th of September, will be four years since my dear friend who was like a mother to me was...murdered in 2021...now just pointing out that this person is very real to m... View more

Hey...I was debating as to whether say this or not, but in just five days, so the 20th of September, will be four years since my dear friend who was like a mother to me was...murdered in 2021...now just pointing out that this person is very real to me, so please don't judge me for saying this, but this dear friend resembled Princess Zelda from the Legend Of Zelda series, specifically the Hyrule Warriors version. My dear friend's name coicidentally enough was Zelda too...she was kinda like an imaginary friend, or a guardian angel to me, as she would always come to me when I was crying. This is what she looked like. She had a long, braided hairstyle with two braids that drape over her head like a crown and shorter, layered bangs in the front. She adorned herself with a golden tiara featuring a pink gemstone, complemented by blue earrings. Her attire consists of a purple and pink dress, accented with golden armor, and she completes her look with long golden boots paired with black stockings. But yes, she was like a mother to me in a way, even though I have my Nan who is actually real, unlike my dear friend who was ficticious...but like I said, she was real to me, so don't judge...anyways the day of her murder, I was already suffering because I had attempted suicide after being told to from a bully. But my dear friend stopped me with comforting words and endearments and lots of hugs, which yes I felt like I could feel. It was kinda like that warm feeling you get when you're in a bath with really warm water. Anyways, so I remember the day pretty vividly, even though I wasn't there when she was murdered, ..it's still a fresh amount of pain in my heart, mind and soul...and...I feel like I'll never be able to move on from this...it was after her murder that I had an incident with an SSO who provided me with comfort in a similar vein to my dear friend. And then...I called her a source of comfort and everything just went down hill from there...and now...I see my dear friend's ghost every time I cry...I feel like I can't, won't and don't think I'll ever be able to move on from this... *Crying* -Liam

carer1 I wont ask what next
  • replies: 5

I am grieving a loss, at 65 after several falls I am grieving the loss of what I used to be, I'm not as mobile anymore, I am in pain all the time now. Friends I thought I had I don't, spent my life caring for others now when I need help there is none... View more

I am grieving a loss, at 65 after several falls I am grieving the loss of what I used to be, I'm not as mobile anymore, I am in pain all the time now. Friends I thought I had I don't, spent my life caring for others now when I need help there is none.

Guest_11230380 Dealing with loss
  • replies: 1

Recently I lost my Grandma, I understand how this happens and as she was suffering it was for the better, but since then, it has felt like all good things and happy emotions are overshadowed by an overwhelming nothingness. So now I feel only sadness ... View more

Recently I lost my Grandma, I understand how this happens and as she was suffering it was for the better, but since then, it has felt like all good things and happy emotions are overshadowed by an overwhelming nothingness. So now I feel only sadness or just nothing at all. It hasn’t been long, but I already feel it taking over, and I just want to be back to my normal self, is this to be expected or should I do some reflecting?

Soberlicious96 My Dad is dying and I don't want to see him
  • replies: 10

On November 20th last year (2024) my Dad was diagnosed with a multitude of aggressive cancerous tumours all throughout his body. Doctors said he would probably die by Christmas but somehow he is still going. He can't eat, can't toilet himself, can't ... View more

On November 20th last year (2024) my Dad was diagnosed with a multitude of aggressive cancerous tumours all throughout his body. Doctors said he would probably die by Christmas but somehow he is still going. He can't eat, can't toilet himself, can't get out of bed ..... he's barely existing and is probably weighing in at about 40 kilos, if that. He's in palliative care 30 minutes away. My issue is that I just want it all to be over. I'm sick of watching waste away and don't want to continue to go see him every week, even though I feel I should and know that I can. Cancer sucks and is breaking my heart. I feel so guilty for not wanting to see him. I just want it to be over. Why do people have to go through this? We wouldn't let our pets suffer like that. He's asked about euthanasia and to be honest, I kind of wish it could be done now. This is tearing me up and I can't take much more.

Guest_10268 miscarriage
  • replies: 9

i have had two miscarriages they were 6 months apart our first baby in june 2024 i was 6 almost 7 weeks along my first miscarriage was just a normal miscarriage and our second baby was january this year i was almost 9 weeks along our second miscarria... View more

i have had two miscarriages they were 6 months apart our first baby in june 2024 i was 6 almost 7 weeks along my first miscarriage was just a normal miscarriage and our second baby was january this year i was almost 9 weeks along our second miscarriage was a complete molar pregnancy which im still going back and forth to appointments and regular blood tests to make sure my hormone levels are still at 0. it’s so exhausting, im tired and exhausted all the time even when i do absolutely nothing and i don’t if its silly but i feel like im still grieving and no one really seems to understand, like they are all wondering why i haven’t moved on or “gotten over it” but its a lot harder then people think even my mood has change im so angry and irritated all the time and i hate it. i really hate getting angry but i can’t help it, its like i’ve have everything bottled up because when i do talk to people they say they understand bc no body has been through it that i speak to

smallwolf Lessons on Grief (Part 2)
  • replies: 4

A somewhat difficult session with my psychologist today. I mentioned the death of Ozzy had a greater impact on me than ...So I'm letting my inner angry child out of the box here -We spoke about the Prince of Darkness—and I was taken backto my teenage... View more

A somewhat difficult session with my psychologist today. I mentioned the death of Ozzy had a greater impact on me than ...So I'm letting my inner angry child out of the box here -We spoke about the Prince of Darkness—and I was taken backto my teenage years,to the things that happened then,and the suffocating weightof being forced down a pathwhere I felt I did not belong,where I was not allowedto be myself.You taught me silence.I found music as my escape,where I felt heard,where I belonged,and at the same time,you made me feelI was falling off the path.Paradox.Don’t pray for me—you need saving, not me.In the end,your light was just a mask.The Prince of Darknessshowed more lovewith words…you’re no different to me.

Chocolate59 Feeling lost & alone.
  • replies: 12

New here, so I'll try and just give a brief outline of why I'm on here. I'm divorced from an alcoholic & but it took me 20 years to get the nerve to leave. Thankfully I became the Mum of a puppy a year or so before I left & thankfully he gave me the ... View more

New here, so I'll try and just give a brief outline of why I'm on here. I'm divorced from an alcoholic & but it took me 20 years to get the nerve to leave. Thankfully I became the Mum of a puppy a year or so before I left & thankfully he gave me the courage to throw what I could in my car & drive away whilst he was out getting drunk again. We'd had another of our many arguments & I knew it wasn't going to be good when he eventually cane home. I rang a friend & drove to her house, parking out of sight. Her husband gave us some space to talk & she made a bed up for me - no dogs allowed inside. The thing was my little dog was used to being inside & couldn't work out why I had left him in the car. After all was quite I snuck out with a blanket & cuddled up to him for the night. My friend knew, but thankfully understood & didn't mention it. I had no idea where to go as my ex would never give up our home for me & I just wanted a safe place to have some piece. He hadn't shown any anger issues up until we'd been married for about 6 - 8mths. His first big outburst left me shaken on the bathroom floor with him still screaming at me & kicking me. I had stupidly thought 7pm dinner meant 7pm. Hours past 7 he came home drunk for his Hot Dinner & I said it's keeping warm on the stove & why was he late for it ? That was the beginning of my learning to live with a heavy drinker. I'm going to leave it here as I've over written on the beginning - I was 20yrs old & very naive - he was 28. I'll add more when I hopefully can get more confident in here.- Dogs Are No One. If you've read this far, thank you.

white knight Coping with grief
  • replies: 5

In my experience with my own grieving and observing others, there is an initial period where others input has virtually no effect. During this period, which varies in length depending on the person, we can be there and listen, reassure with comfortin... View more

In my experience with my own grieving and observing others, there is an initial period where others input has virtually no effect. During this period, which varies in length depending on the person, we can be there and listen, reassure with comforting words etc. However it can be counter productive telling someone "you'll get over it" or "its for the best". That's because pure 100% grief hasn't room for logic nor room for reason nor explanation. What if you are the person in grief?. After this initial period, there will be a time when you'll return to your pre grief life, work, shopping etc. But you'll still be in grief. This is the point at which I encourage some strategies. Eg Im dedicating next year to my father. He'll want me to be as happy as I could be. Im going to create a corner of my garden to my sister. A place with a garden seat and climbing roses, her favourite flower My brother did not enjoy good health. I will in his honour, care for myself because he never had that opportunity. And so on. The art of channelling, which is what I referred to above is infinite in its realm of creativity and its an individual thing. It can make us extend ourselves beyond our projected capacity. Ever seen Olympians dedicate their journey of competition to a loved one? But IMO the greatest motivating factor is children. Those of us that have walked that dark path of suicidal thoughts and/or plans know that thinking of how we will leave our loved ones in trauma and grief can be a huge motivating factor for us to sever the idea and dedicate our lives to our children or loved ones. When I lost my wonderful dad I decided to ensure I would one day leave the world of my children with a similar memory... In summary- To assist yourself in coping with grief, allow yourself a period of time that you alone feel is the right length of time to just grieve....and not much else except comforting others. Then put in place ways of honouring your loved one and living your life as they would want you to. Finally, not to make their passing in vain. Grab hold of their legacy they've left and in their name ...never let it go. For that memory is priceless. Use that gift to leave a similar memory for other loved ones you will one day leave behind. Thats how I make sense of the passing of loved ones. Do you have strategies in coping with the passing of a loved one you'd like to share? Your ideas could help someone else Tony WK

Guest_91460414 Sad
  • replies: 2

My mum passed away12/5/25. Mum was my best friend Lucky I have my daughter. I now have a hole in my heart, making stupid decisions. My anxiety level is huge as I'm dearly with my stepdad who isn't very nice. Was so nasty to my mother when she was ali... View more

My mum passed away12/5/25. Mum was my best friend Lucky I have my daughter. I now have a hole in my heart, making stupid decisions. My anxiety level is huge as I'm dearly with my stepdad who isn't very nice. Was so nasty to my mother when she was alive. I don't like him.