dear Elias, my total thoughts go out to you, and I can't imagine the devastation that this is causing you.
In this situation you have to try and forget about putting on a brave face, you have to now talk to someone about this, I know that it's going to be so painful and teary, and it certainly is, but you have to express to someone of the life your son had, good and any problems that you do know of, that he was experiencing.
The grief of this is so big that it can't be bottled up inside you forever, because you must have been so close to him, shared so many things, and you were his idiol, and I say this in a way that probably nothing could have stopped him from doing, as he must have very depressed.
I really wish that I could share this grief with you, but I can only do this by being on this site.
Your feelings are only going to build up inside of you, so that's why you need to release these feelings, and it's probably best that you find a really close friend or organise to see a psychologist through your doctor, because your wife and daughter will be grieving as well.
There is a site which you can google, and it's 'support after suicide', where there are contacts and other support areas.
Please Elias now that you made contact with us, could you please get back to us, where you can talk to many of the people here, and the females will be more empathic as they usually are. Take the greatest care, and hope to hear from you very soon. Geoff.