Why? What do I need to do?

[Foxnin]

I’m living in a current state of Groundhog Day. I feel like all I am doing is waking up to go to work to pay the bills.

The problems that go with that, is that I am always exhausted and my partner thinks I have no time for her.

I hate making her feel bad and down but I don’t know how to make myself feel happy, so how am I meant to show her it’s not her fault.

To be fair, she’s the only thing that makes me finally get up.

We are currently fighting over all of this and I don’t know how to help explain to her that I need to work myself out to help us work us out.

help me out if you can peeps. I’m so drained.

[therising]

Hi Foxnin and welcome!

Exciting the neurons in our brain can definitely be a challenge at times, especially when every day feels pretty much the same. This is where introducing new things into life becomes a catalyst for change in a number of ways. Creating things to look forward to may work some magic into the relationship you have with yourself and your partner.

Whether you decide on a romantic weekend getaway or a skydiving experience, life becomes about adding new ventures to your relationship. Doing something new once a month or once every few months can become an enjoyable experience. Also, it can't hurt to do things that take you outside your comfort zone. Whether it's about adding ventures (adventuring) or recreation (re-creation) of some type, such things have the potential to change us in a number of positive ways. Sometimes, 'the norm' in life isn't serving us because we are designed to constantly evolve.

That old Mars bar mantra 'Work, rest and play' pretty much sums up the balance required for life (8 hours of each). For some folk it's not easy to find the balance when work cuts into the rest and play aspects. Getting as close as possible to a balance is what helps feed another triad - Mind, body and spirit. Working/stimulating and resting the mind and body is often what brings our child out to play. With this in mind, perhaps (like when we were kids) you could imagine your girlfriend's knocking on your door asking 'Can Foxnin come out to play?!' You can begin to understand her disappointment when imagining the response 'No, sorry, Foxnin's got chores that need to be done. Come back another time'. I can understand your disappointment too and I really feel for you.

Not sure what work you do or whether it's possible to shave some time off it each week/month. Also not sure if some of the challenges you face are related to mental health issues such as depression, for example. Either way, perhaps guidance is key at this point in life in regard to finding the best way forward. Finding the best form of guidance and feedback can sometimes be enough to begin changing our perception and therefor our life.

Take care of that kid in you

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Foxnin,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for your post. I'm sorry you're stuck in groundhog day.

Even though I can see you're struggling, I can also see that there's good things about feeling like you're in groundhog day - you've recognised patterns, you can see what's not going right, you want things to change and you're motivated (because you're here).

If I think about Groundhog Day more, I can also remember that part of his character was about making all these changes. Instead of getting angry with his alarm, he got up. He learned French, he sculpted ice, he played the piano. It was still Groundhog Day, but he chose to approach things differently. How could you do that? If you were to imagine your post-Phil (when he was doing well), what would that look like for you? What would you be doing?

I may have extended this Groundhog Day metaphor more than I should have 🙂 but hopefully it helps a little.