tayla (robthomaslover)'s thread.
i wasn't sure where to put this. i did have a thread but i won't want to look back on it & participate in it anymore as some of the things on it were triggering for me.
i just made this thread, hoping to find people to talk to, of any age, gender, etc. since i'm lonely & depressed. the only help i get is a psychiatrist once a month & i had to pay this time because of the stupid telehealth company lying to me, & i'm still waiting to get money back on medicare from it.
so yeah, i guess this thread is just to try to socialise with others. i don't really know the purpose of it.
saw the doctor today. my appointment was at 1:15pm, didn't see her until about 2 or nearly 2. & they say they work hard to limit the wait time, lol no they don't.
they couldn't find anything wrong with me & said i was imagining it. she was the only doctor i could see, i couldn't even see one in my actual town, & other doctors clinics don't take new patients.
she had one of the doctors there supervising her, i didn't like either of them, found them rude & dismissive. they gave me a form for a chest x-ray but that was all. checked my lungs but didn't find anything & checked my pulse although the thing they put on your finger blew up, the first one.
my old doctor, the male one, was in the same waiting room, he walked past a few times & gave me filthy looks while i was waiting.
sigh. i think maybe i should try to look for another clinic. i had to book an appointment for her next Tuesday but i don't even know if i'll go whether i get the chest x-ray or not.
i'm sick of being made to feel inadequate. i honestly give up with any sort of professional. i did the right thing & went to the doctors as much as i hate it. sigh.
Dear Dear Tayla~
There is nothing more upsetting and discouraging than a dismissive doctor, I guess the only up-side is the form for the X-Ray. Hopefully that will make the position clearer.
I wonder why that doctor was being supervised, is she recently graduated do you think?
Looking for another medical center might be an idea if it is practical for you. At least you might be out of an repressive atmosphere.
It's a bit ironic you saying you had to wait, I've now reached the stage where sometimes I'm sorry to be called in. This is because I listen ot podcasts and eBooks, and am certain to get the call when I've just got to a most interesting bit 🙂
i agree. not sure why she was being supervised. it says on her profile when you book that she "has extensive experience" but didn't seem to have a clue? she's only been there a month. they kept trying to patronise me & say it was anxiety. yes i do have that but i've had mental health struggles since i was 12 in 2011, so why would i get lung problems all of a sudden? & how could i imagine or fake that? i'm offended. i don't have chest pain or tightness but i've genuinely had trouble breathing. i did have an asthma inhaler but i had an allergic reaction so i'd rather not use one, i know there's different ones but still. she was the only one who had an appointment, now i can see why. asked me questions like if i take any meds in general etc which is already on my file. sadly no other clinics take new patients. i was looking at two clinics which are closer to me but i'm not sure if they take new patients and do medicare, but it seems more expensive at those places. if i need prescriptions i can order those on the app but still. my actual doctor is nice and helpful, she's a bit more understanding, but sadly i can't see her for five weeks. she would've been better, i feel a bit more comfortable with her. she's younger too, probably in her thirties, not sure. the male doctor i used to see kept giving me filthy looks as he walked past. he was away for seven months and last time i saw him before that, i was in pain and he said "what do you want me to do about it?", in a dismissive rude way. why do i bother with any kind of help when i get treated like crap? i honestly give up, but i'm neglecting my health too. it's hurtful. i don't know what's happening with my psychiatrist. i can't be bothered looking for a new one or a new psychologist. if i need support i could try seeing the social worker again, ask her for advice i guess. but for now i'll get the chest x-ray done asap and see this rude doctor again to find out the results then not bother.
It is a pretty difficult time for you, and I guess you are doing the best you can with a very awkward system.
I hope your X-Rays clear up what is happening.
If I understand correctly you intend on going back to this doctor when the results come in, however is it also worth booking a consultation in advance with your actual doctor for when she returns? I find in my medical center the good doctors get booked out quickly, so maybe you can beat the rush.
As far as possible please do not neglect your health, in my own case I neglected it for years and ended up in a very much worse state than I should have.
Everyday you are living with this concern that something is wrong in your lung/s, & it's causing you anxiety. Many people don't breathe normally while feeling anxious. So, that's not helping. The longer you put up with it, the longer you will have the symptoms & the anxiety you feel now.
I know you say you are used to neglecting yourself, as if ignoring your needs will make everything okay. What if it doesn't become okay? What if it can be better than okay? Now you can get an x-ray, why not? Would doing that make things worse?
Or have I missed something, like going for an x-ray frightens you? Or, as I have felt, it is really uncomfortable to have to undress for the x-ray?
Obviously I think getting the x-ray is agood idea. However, it's your decision. I eould only ask you to consider my questions.