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Just a poem I wrote.. I thought others may like to share their creative words too.

EmiJ
Community Member

I don’t care about these walls anymore
It will never be my place
I don’t care for the mirror anymore
I can’t stand this face
I don’t justify myself anymore
I will just take on another mistake
I don’t have dreams anymore
Nightmares have driven them away
I thought I was building my path to the golden life on the high
Yet it was the path to my quiet grave where the roots twist and close behind
EJ

7 Replies 7

therising
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi EmiJ

 

You speak from the heart, such an intensely soulful trait. I feel for you so deeply through your words. I can feel how beautiful you are and how much pain you're in. Poetry is definitely the language of the soul and I've found it can also be the language of other parts of us, some parts that we keep hidden and/or parts that are yet to come to life in obvious ways. You've inspired me and have managed to resurrect the poet in me, a part of me I'd long forgotten about, a part that I used to channel more so when I was younger. I'm a 53yo gal, btw. You've led me to think 'What parts of myself would I like to express through poetry?'. The first paragraph I offer comes from the people pleaser in me, a facet that can prove tormenting at times. The second comes from the intolerant cow in me. I love her, the cow in me. She's a ripper, a 'tell it how it is' facet. Developing this part of me over the past few years has been a godsend for my self-esteem. Thanks for the inspiration Emi. You're a godsend 🤗❤️

 

Be careful with your bridges, do not burn them out of rage.

Aim to please, do not upset, you need others at this stage.

With just a tiny bit of confidence and an ounce of self esteem,

You need these people in your life, who chastise while they demean.

For who’d you be without them, those who set your path,

Those Dr Jekyl/Mr Hyde types who are kind until they laugh,

The types that boost your self-esteem, unless they’re making fun

Of that which means the world to you. You must please them, every one.

 

To hell with eggshells, burn each bridge and thumb your nose at all.

When anger rises, don’t ignore your courage with that call.

When you answer, dear, stand up straight and let it run it’s course

from gut to throat, announce yourself, ‘I speak with no remorse…

You are brutal and degrading, you’re depressing and plain rude,

As you spout ‘advice’ and ‘guidance’ with your general platitudes.

‘Toughen up,’ you say ‘you’re too sensitive’ you laugh

As you belittle in degrading ways as I struggle on my path.

In the dark comes light, I’ll shed for you, the truth I offer thee

You speak of what imprisons me, not of what sets me free.

You speak of shame and weakness, when it comes to how I sense

Not of power nor of depth, what you say is an offence.

You should admire me, be jealous of the fact that I can feel

So deeply, so intensely, in ways that are so real.

When next you feel compelled to take be down a notch

I will show you how real feeling works, if you care to watch’.

Wow your poem reminded me a little of how Shakespeare characters talk in his plays at times.

Your poem is very powerful from two personal sides it is almost how our personalities can change daily depending on what we are experiencing.

You are very talented 

On a side note I wish my intolerant cow was my dominant personality as I feel I would have been better

Hi EmiJ

 

You're very kind and inspiring, thank you. The perfectionist in me (or possibly my inner critic) dictates to me 'Look at your grammar. You should have checked for punctuation and spelling mistakes before you posted'. Actually, it could be my husband's voice chatting away in my head. He's super neurotic and self righteous when it comes to grammar and a bit of a pain in the backside. 😅

 

The cow in me took years to fully come to life. While it used to come to life only in explosive pressure cooker situations, through tears and rants directed at people who's behaviour I just couldn't tolerate anymore, one day all that changed. It was like 'Welcome to this world, intolerant cow. Happy birthday to you'. Everything up 'til then was what I'd call 'labour pains'. Finally, it was born at the tail end of one of my depressing cycles.

 

Every time I've faced a significantly depressing period in my life, the result has always been the same. Some new facet of me has come to life. Some new part of me has been born out of each  depression.

 

  • Amongst a lot of deep and depressing soul searching, the soulful sage in us may be born
  • While we may be analysing the hell out of life and every depressing thing that keeps us from finding a kind of heaven on earth, the analyst in us may be born. Our inner analyst has the ability to take all emotion or feeling out of a depressing situation, in order to analyse all the reasons behind why it's so depressing (helping us find all the triggers)
  • There can even be the opportunity for the comedian in us to come to life through or at the tail end of certain depressing times that can be revealed as comically insane

and the list goes on, with different facets of self.

 

With the comedian in me (aka the part that leads me to see the funny side of some people's depressing behaviour), I can recall how it came to life and how it changed my perception. While my husband had always been in the habit of asking me how I was when I was depressed (which is thoughtful, I admit), he was also in the habit of saying 'It upsets me to hear that because I love you so much. It really upsets me'. He'd be so upset to the point where he'd have to walk away. What the?! For years this would depress me, being left alone to manage how I felt. One day something in me woke up (the comedian) and the my inner dialogue became 'He's insane, for what sane person does that'. Then that followed with a list of many of the insane things my husband does and I found myself laughing, as opposed to crying. Then I started to observe other people's insane behaviour. I finally reached the conclusion, with help from the comedian in me, most of the people who call themselves 'normal' are actually comically insane. You gotta laugh at people who try to convince you why they don't need a filter and you need to just 'toughen up'. 'Are you kidding me, is this a joke? Are you actually letting yourself off the hook for your non filtered behaviour? You're hilarious'. I tell you what, insensitive people do not like to be laughed at. It tends to trigger them. It makes them very sensitive.😂

 

 

sbella02
Community Champion
Community Champion

So beautiful, EJ. I love writing, it's so good for emotional expression.

😂Brilliant 

Aww thanks