Hi Distractedbug
Let me say for one that parenting is THE most difficult job I've ever had. In the good periods, it's also the most rewarding.
I found Stephen Covey's book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families" a great read as I started my family with one child, then my family grew and grew and GREW!
Covey had 9 children lol.
The part of the book I found REALLY helpful, which I think would help you is "Seek first to understand, then to be understood". There's a WHOLE chapter on this statement alone. Great read!
Your children will not be better off without you. Although dealing with your anger when interacting with them would be helpful to YOUR health and wellbeing as well as creating a nicer atmosphere at home.
No one wants to be in a place where people are angry. You wouldn't either I imagine.
Writing all your feelings out here and / or in a Journal could be very helpful.
Reflect on the reasons why your anger is sparked?
When was your earliest memory of NOT being heard?
A Men's Counsellor could be really helpful to talk things through. The BB Helpline is a great alternative to call... you could try saying to the kids or your wife, "I'm finding things a bit difficult to deal with right now, so I'm just going outside for a while" then you could call a Helpline to get some tips and even referrals to someone for support near you.
The fact that you said you feel so bad about flipping and you're trying your hardest indicates you WANT help in dealing with your feelings and it's impact on your family's wellbeing. That's very loving.
Also that you joined the forums! So well done you.
Abandoning your family in any way whatsoever will greatly impact them negatively.
Parenthood is a huge responsibility and we often DO need support to navigate this (hopefully) long time journey.
Chin up!
Talk soon
EM
