Im a bit confused and worried

[kennedy_c]

Hi, we have been in lockdown for around 12 weeks. Just the last week or so I've had anxiety attacks that have coincided with feelings of depression. It largely happens at night. However, some sort of relief and happiness has come from tv shows which have helped me get through it. I also saw my friends for the first time today in a while and I still felt a little bit of that same depression which worries me.

When I go through these depressing stages at night nothing I can think of makes me feel happy, I try to go on my laptop and escape however that doesn't seem to work sometimes. Because of these empty and helpless feelings, I get a large amount of anxiety which further makes me feel worse. It does however seem to subside after an hour or 30 min, then I start to feel a bit happier.

I have never seen a therapist or anything I'm just confused right now and I don't know if it's the lockdown that's causing it and if it will get better.
Thanks a lot.

[HappyHelper88]

Hello Kennedy C Thankyou for your post and welcome,

I am so sorry to hear what your going through
Thats good that doing some activities have provided some sort of relief and it is also good that these feelings to seem to subside eventually but it sounds like your going through a lot.
Its hard to know whats causing it but lockdown has contributed to a lot of people feeling a similar way and its hard to stay positive when we dont know when we will go back to normal.

I think it would benefit you to talk to someone whether its family, friends or a counsellor. Its good to share how your feeling with someone as they can offer a perspective or advice
If you want to talk to someone you can call a Beyond Blue counsellor, we’re on 1300 22 4636 or you can reach us on webchat here. Please remember to reach out whenever you need to.

I hope this helps

[Petal22]

Hi Kennedy,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry you have been feeling this way..

I understand lockdown would be difficult.

I use to have panic attacks they are horrible, I suffered with severe anxiety OCD I seeked professional help for my condition and have now recovered.

You could make an appointment with your gp and discuss how you are feeling , you could also do a mental health plan together this will enable you to see a psychologist.

Im here to chat

[geoff]

Hello Kennedy c, thanks for your comment.

The problem people can have is that they never know whether or not they are prone to getting anxiety and/or depression because their situation can change all of a sudden, and although I'm not a doctor, I know both of these were present when I was suffering, one day one was stronger than the other while another day the reverse may happen.

We tend to go online to find the answers to the many questions and sometimes this points us in a different direction to how we are actually feeling, and I'm not innocent either.

Being in lock down has changed a great deal on how we are thinking because every week the government change their rules, so we are unsure what's going to happen next.

If you feel better after 30 minutes then perhaps your mind has been taken to another place which is good, but can I suggest once you book a doctor's appointment which will then allow you to see a psychologist, try and write down in point form, how you feel, what precipitates these mood changes and what may be concerning you, then they can read your notes, rather than asking you 'how can I help you' because when this happens, people tend to forget the main points.

Hope you can get back to us.

Geoff.

[kennedy_c]

Thank you all for your help I really appreciate it.

With lockdown ending soon, I have started seeing mates very regularly and I feel this has helped a lot. The anxiety attacks have subsided as well which is really positive. As you all have mentioned lockdown is a lonely place and I feel this absence of social connection and boredom was the thing that affected me the most, that's why tv shows and movies made me feel happier as I felt less lonely. I feel like I'm finally back on track to where I was pre-lockdown and although I might have a couple days where I slip back into that mindset, I'm now confident that ill be able to recover like I have before.

Again, thank you all so much for your kind words. It's the first time I've really reached out and its so comforting knowing people have gone through what I've gone through and the support that is also available.

[kennedy_c]

Hi all its me again, I know I've said before that I've started to feel better however that feeling has started to subside again.

Even though lockdown is over in NSW it still feels weird in my mind, like I'm slow to catch up. I've currently got a job where I work from Monday to Friday at a cafe. However, I'm constantly having these shifts in mood, where for an hour or two I feel fine then something will trigger in my mind and ill go into a depressive state of emptiness that lasts for maybe 10-20mins. Its really frustrating cause i feel like a normally do and feel good, then 10 seconds later I feel bad, and when i feel bad its seems like nothing in the world matters its just me and my stupid negative thoughts, this often leads t a large amount of anxiety and it's hard to calm down. However, if I'm in a positive mindframe and i think about the negatives it seems stupid and i don't know how i could think like that.

What also happens when I'm having these negative thoughts is i feel like I'm the only one that can have as bad a thoughts as this and no one understands me which i know is not true. What is also frustrating is when i feel fine and a little negative though creeps in its like I have to immediately address, which makes me feel worse and worse as I think more and more about how to deal with this negative thought.

Finally, I'm keeping a journal and most of my bad thoughts seem to happen in the arvo when i get home around 4-7, hoping someone can shed a little light on this.

Anyway I've had a talk with my mum and we've agreed to see a psychologist some hopefully he/she can help me understand.

Let me know if any one of the thoughts i have described above seems familiar because it seems like I am close to getting past it.

Cheers, thank you all

[Petal22]

Hi Kennedy,

I think it’s great that you are going to see a psychologist I think the psychologist will be able to help you.

Yes I understand negative thoughts can be difficult to deal with , I struggled with my intrusive thoughts they gave me severe anxiety and I would constantly obsess over the thoughts.. I was diagnosed with OCD… I have now recovered thanks to the help I received from health professionals.

What we give attention to we give power to…..

Have you ever tried meditation?

[kennedy_c]

Thanks for your reply

No never tried mediation, but I see a lot of things online suggesting it so might give it a try

Was it helpful for you and how long did it take before you started feeling a difference?

Thanks

[Petal22]

I highly recommend you try meditation it takes practice so keep persevering with it.

Look for a guided meditation for learning to watch your thoughts

I like GYM BOX mindfull meditation

Meditation is very calming I felt this calming shift while I was doing meditation almost instantly but in regards to it helping me with my OCD was about 8 weeks………

It takes time so just keep on practicing….

The time it took me to benefit from this practice was well worth it.

I can now sit back and observe my thoughts and not get so caught up in them.

Ive learned that I’m not my thoughts but the watcher of my thoughts.

😊