I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.
I feel lonely, my sister is up at the Central coast, my mother is in a local nursing home, and my cats are in a cattery while the house is renovated. I came home from work last night and plugged in the microwave from the house to a power point in the garage so I could cook and eat dinner. This morning I got up early and plugged in an old bar fridge, the fridge in the camper is not working and things will start to go off.
After I ate dinner, I went to bed feeling sorry for myself. I do have a local sister but she has stolen things from the house before, she does not get on with the sister from the Central coast. She has a spare bed that I could sleep in but I do not want to break the ties of the other sister despite the fact she makes me miserable.
If only I had someone to talk to. I cannot watch television in the van because of the power. I am at work today. This weekend I am looking at a house that I could buy, but I do not know whether I can afford is, the mortgage broker has told me that they have done their due diligence meaning I could afford the house. I feel like I am at the end of my tether with nothing to look forward to.
I got a lot of worry go around in my head.
May I say, you've done well in reaching out to your company's EAP for help. I hope they'll be able to provide you the assistance and counselling that you need for your situation. And my apologies for misunderstanding your financial situation. I mistook $225 a week as your mortgage and fees. It really sucks that NSW has gone into extended lockdown, and as a Victorian who have been thru lockdowns, my sympathies goes to you and fellow Australians in NSW to have to go thru a lockdown... Stay strong and you'll make it through!
I've been thinking, you mentioned the word "Discord", is it right for me to assume you're a gamer as well? If you are, wanna share what kind of games you play? And if you have any hobbies that you do during your spare time? Would love to hear what things you're interested in 🙂
Tonight I am off to BCF to buy a sleeping bag, something that will handle a less than zero temperature. Last night again I tossed and turned half the night. I am not sure whether it was because I was cold or the dark thoughts going through my head. I feel like I will be suffering from monetary depression if I buy the place on the Central Coast, mortgage is $450.00 a fortnight and site fees are about the same. Getting paid $1500.00 a fortnight does not leave a lot left over and I have not even looked at power, water or natural gas costs. I am seriously thinking of buying something cheaper but I know my sister will be angry that I did not move up close to her. When I see the owners of the Central Coast property, I will ask them about site fees and if it is as dear as I think, it is I am going to tell my sister that I cannot afford it. There are some places up at Mount Druitt or St Mary’s that would be better money wise.
Hopefully the site fees aren't as dire as you thought, but if you feel more comfortable buying something cheaper (and your finances are in favor of it), I'm sure your sister would understand your situation if you spoke to her about it. After all, they can't control which property you must buy, and can only advise what their thoughts/expectations are. It's your money, so you have all the power to decide which property you want to buy.
Stay Strong :)! You go this.
I think at least you are doing the right thing budget wise - look at your inflows and your outflows- cut back on non-essentials- I also keep a tight budget... many others I know do too. (I will admit that you can access food support from Foodbanks if your bills too high for groceries - I have used them a couple of times and am grateful for their support) Get rid off all subscription services - that is good! especially because you will be moving around. The only thing I think is important is your phone/internet subscription - because that is how many of us stay connected these days.
Sounds like you know some people that you can reach out too electronically while the lock-down is on. That's a plus. I and many others are doing the same. I too feel a bit down at these lock-down times. As one of the others mentioned try to find something to keep you occupied - read books, drawing, gardening (you mentioned the renovated house going to be sold so is the garden looking ok?)
You are going through a process of moving so ensure you can plan - a timeline can help us keep in perspective - you are heading to a new future - new possibilities. Change is hard but if we plan well we can manage it day by day.
I'm curious to know, when you mention "stolen from the house before", was it something very valuable that she stole from the house? And also would like to hear about why you fear your sisters might get angry at you for telling her about wanting to buy a cheaper house at a slightly further location? It's okay if you don't feel like answering those questions. Just wanting to know a little bit more about your situation, and want to assure you that this is a safe place for you to talk about anything that's on your mind.
Thank you for sharing that. I'm sorry to hear about it... Perhaps it's still worth letting her know that you want to look for a cheaper property to purchase, mainly because you're not in a good financial situation to be buying the one that you had initially planned. Hopefully your sister will understand, and she may even support you in your decision to do so. But I'm still unsure what sort of person your sister is, so I can only hope she'll understand your situation and support your decision. Was it your eldest sister who lent you her campervan for you to stay in?