I am stuck in my small business

[Alice11]

I felt much better previously when I had nothing than now. Now I have my own house, some savings and a small business started a year ago. I feel very stressed and feel too much to do and in a lot of time I feel very depressed although I manage to finish my tasks. I don't understand myself now, I tell myself my current situation is much better than previous, but I am so unhappy. When I fail to turn a potential customer into a new customer, I feel very sick and hopeless. I feel very bad about myself, although I know I am one of the best in the field. I had HDs in my professional exams. I just cannot take the rejections from the potential customers anymore.  I figure maybe I am not good at talking to people or I don't look confident enough when meeting people, but I can't make myself look confident or outgoing because I am not an outgoing person. I am an introvert. How can I change myself to become confident and talkative. It is not my personal quality. I don't enjoy looking confident. It is not me😭 I am not used to being confident and talkative. Moreover, I have to do marketing besides my current work. When I don't do marking, not even potential customers. I feel very bad and sick. Maybe I am still not getting used to the new routines of doing small business. I had been working for others previously. Any suggestions to me. Thank you.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Alice11, 

Thank you for posting here, although we're sorry to hear you've been going through a tough time. While having a small buisness can be super rewarding it can also be stressful and it sounds like you are dealing with a bit of burnout while trying to deal with a lot on your plate. Often times we put a lot of pressure on ourselves and tell ourselves that if only we were more confident or outgoing we would be better off, when being the person you've always been has gotten you to this point 🙂 Sometimes it can be good to take a step back and realise you are doing the best you can and you've achieved a lot in starting a buisness and having your own home. Our inner critic can often make it difficult to recognise our successes and instead causes us to focus on our perceived flaws which can make us feel very unhappy.

Please know if you want to talk through what you’re feeling at any time, the Beyond Blue Support Line is here for you 24/7 on 1300 22 4636, or online here. It’s ok to reach out when you’re feeling anxious or upset, they can talk you through some ways to find a bit of calm, and then help you to figure out some options for further support.  We’re sure we’ll hear from the lovely community soon, but in the meantime, here’s some strategies you might like to have a look at it. Often our inner critic can spiral into making us feel anxious so we've included some strategies that have helped our community in the past:

Another thread where the community have shared some strategies for managing anxiety 

Beyond Blue article: inner critic

Thanks again for sharing. We’re here to listen and offer support, and you never know how your story might help someone else. Good luck with everything and try to be kind to yourself during this time.

Kind regards, 

Sophie M 

[randomxx]

Hi op.

l recognise quite a bit of what your talking about l've had my own business over 30yrs now well, there's been 2 in that time but the second was a spin of after some time out from the first.

l think first thing is do you like your business and the work , is it something you want to keep doing for a long time ?

Because as you prob know it all takes time, prob a few yrs at least before you find your feet and are making enough to cover whatever your life involves and surviving. Do you like it enough to bother going through that and soldering on ?

Next yeah, customers and that side of the personality you need to deal with them and get the business. l've got a degree in business but they can't really give you that l know and then we're all different to so the way we deal with people and our personalities all work in different ways.

l was really uncomfortable with that side of it to for yrs and l'm also introvert so in order to be well, not a salesmen but just ldk, the personality to just deal and cope with just anyone that walks through the door took a long time and it's wasn't someone l wanted to be or liked either.l kind of went over , or under but rarely the balance in being myself yet dealing with them to. lt's pretty tricky isn't it unless as you say your just like that.

Eventually l thought to hell with it, here is the job, you either want it or you don't and l'd just let them look it over and if they buy the buy if not then not and l still go that way to this day.

l can read people on sight to and so if l know there'll be nothing to talk about then l just show them the job be polite and let them do their thing. Sometimes it's someone you just click with in might just chat away with comfortably but if not l try to just answer any questions and let it be.l find that works really well.

l work from home and sometimes l even feel really uncomfortable around a customer so l'll actually duck back inside bide some time and just leave them out there looking over the job- sometimes they come knocking before l'm back ready to buy.

Anyway, l hope this is of some help .

All the best.  rx

[Alice11]

Hi Sophie,

Thank you so much. I realize small business needs lots of energy, it needs actions. I will push myself further to ease my worries.

[Alice11]

Thank you so much RX.  I will follow your strategy. Anyway we need to preserve the energy to go forward. If I care too much, I will be lost in the emotional distress. Thank you so much 🙂

[randomxx]

Hi Alice and ah, l'm really pleased then it might've made some sense anyway, there were enough typo's haha.

You nailed it right there for me to though l was the same. lf l tensed up or cared to much well, there were plenty of really uncomfortable dealings earlier in. Took me awhile and l often never knew where to look either, hated that part to.

But yeah once l got into the polite but not caring too much mode, things really started being a lot easier and going a lot smoother.

Good luck anyway, you will get there.