Hey Bob,
Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums. I'm really glad you could tell us how you're feeling. As persistence says, you're not alone in feeling like crap and wanting to give your heart and brain a good cleaning. Hey wouldn't that be awesome if we could pop them out and throw them in the front loader. I think I'd use a heavy duty cycle, trouble is that I'd shrink mine in the bloody dryer!
I'm sorry things are bad at the moment, breakups and losing someone we love is horrible. I agree with you that it makes it worse when it seems they can move on so easily. Truth be known, they probably moved on a while ago or they are hiding it cause no one gets a free ride.
Have you had a look at the "The facts" section of the website Bob? There's a quick assessment that takes you through a few short questions to determine what might be happening with regards to depression.
There's a 24 hour hotline if you need to talk to someone urgently. The folks who answer the phone are trained to help.
There's some interesting reading on grief and loss (at the top of the page, under "The facts") losing a relationship triggers grief - it can be a horrible experience and part of it is depression. It helps to understand the set of emotions that might be experienced during the natural process of grief.
If you feel up to it you could visit your Dr or a counsellor and have a chat.
I experienced the loss of a relationship a few months ago. It had me bed ridden for almost a few weeks. I just wanted to hide and was really angry with the guy who dumped me. He should have known better and claimed to be a helper. But. I had to grieve to understand and resolve the pain. I had to be honest with myself and I had to get help.
Please don't be afraid to ask for help even though you may be afraid of what you're feeling.
Stay in touch.
Paul
