How do we cope with the constant negative press and the fact that the cost of living and interest rates are about to go through the roof. I eventually won’t be able to afford my house. It’s my fault that I let this happen to my family. I feel like there’s no way out of this and I can’t seem to function.
I have these thoughts regularly but had been doing well for the last 5-6 weeks. I’d been avoiding the news during that time, keeping myself busy as well and then today, I caught a glimpse of some news articles on my phone. I feel it’s set me right back and I’m back to feeling that there’s no wait out.
yes, it’s so strange that 2 people (my wife and I) are in the same situation but see things so differently and st opposite ends of the scale. I’ve been doom and gloom, unable to see the potential in our home, unable to even think of it as a home or the positive side of the situation, and she’s extremely positive, loves her home and sees herself living out her days here.
it’s hard at the moment. I’ve had a bit of a relapse this week, back to negativity again. But I guess this is what it’s going to be like for awhile. I’ll dig my way out, fall back in and hopefully the periods of positivity will last longer and longer into the future. Eventually, I’ll get back to myself full time.
yes, what you said made me think of worst case scenario but to switch my focus to solution mode, which there are many. That made me feel a bit better.
she’s at the point that not even being positive would be a good thing. She just doesn’t want to talk about my issues full stop. I think she needs to see me being more positive first. unloading on her also takes a toll on her and she’s trying to protect herself so at least one of us can take care of the kids. I’ve got 2, 3 yrs and 8 mths. When I unload I forget the impact that can have on others, it can be a bit selfish I guess. Especially when it becomes Groundhog Day. And that’s why I started talking to more people and not just her. Share the burden I guess. I’ve reached out yo my parents more and my friends. They’ve listened and helped too. I need to return the favour though. Sometimes the discussion becomes very one sided (all about me) and I forget to check in on them. I’m getting more conscious of that. Friendship is 2 sided and I can’t just make it all about me.
I’ve got an appointment with my psych in a week or so. I might see if I can do something earlier and we can chat this through together as well. I always feel better after talking out loud with him.
Family is life and the most important thing. That value grows stronger and stronger each day. I need to add friends to that too as in recent years, I’d let friendships fade and lost my self identity a bit. Starting to reconnect now though. 🙂
I think you are improving -you sound like it.
For a start neither I nor anyone else can cope with the unreasoning fear of catastrophization (I hope I spelled that right!) as it is not a concrete set of facts but a wave of all sort of terrible - even undefined - horrors.
So when you start to say "OK, the wheels might fall off - I wonder if we could build a sled" then you have done two things, first you have actually defined in reasonable concrete terms the worst that might happen, and are starting to assume you can do something about it. Plus of course you will not be facing things alone.
So to start to think like that - as you have been saying - is excellent. Took me ages.
I also think that is a pretty mature judgment about talking with your wife, yes exhibiting a positive attitude in every day life by example - not talk - sounds as if it is indeed the way to go.
With your parents and friends I guess there is, as you say, a need for balance. There is a very natural tendency to vent out all that hurts and worries. However talking with them as well about their lives, hassles or interests is not only good for the relationship, but also gets your mind away from your own problems a bit. I'd expect they'd feel more valued too. A win-win situation.
I'm glad you are re-building old friendships.
Thanks again for your advice and listening.
I go home to my home country in less than a week for a month. My wife and kids are there and have been for over 3 weeks. I look forward to seeing them again. ALOT
it’s been a tough time by myself. Ive been visiting friends which has been great but I really struggled for a few days last week. Fell back into old depressive ways. Managed to pull myself together and distract myself with work at home which helped. But there were 2-3 days last week of being very flat, sad and lonely. It sneaked up on me. Again the news caught my eye and the cycle started again. How does one become immune to what’s happening with cost of living pressures.
Anyways, I’m excited to reunite with family soon. Not sure how I feel about coming back to Australia afterwards though. Hopefully the break away does me good.
I'm sure the break away and seeing your family will be a treat for them and for you.
I can only say my own experience is that things do come in waves, and there are down-times. However as I improve those times get less - and less frequent. At least part of that is practice in knowing what to do, which is something you do by visiting freinds - not a complete answer but a help.
As for becoming effected by the recessions and all the rest. My own solution is to give the news a miss. If my energy bill goes up or petrol is more these are single things I try to deal with. If I hears a whole bunch of stuff is escalating all at once in the news it gets rather overwhelming
Does that make any sort of sense?
If I do not talk to you before I wish you a safe trip