Feeling Ground Hog Day

[Whits]

I've been off work now for 5 weeks, dealing with my anxiety/depression. On the one hand I really want to get better, get back to my old self. On the other, I don't want to leave my couch. I have isolated myself from friends and family. Honestly I am annoying myself with the destructive cycle. I feel hopeless, like my existence is pointless and meaningless.

I want to quit my career which I have been building and just travel, but that seems wreckless? Then again staying stagnant for the sake of status and keeping family happy seems equally pointless?

Can anyone relate?

[quirkywords]

Whits

thanks for your post thank reading but not posting will relate.
It can be a viscious cycle the depression is telling us we are worthless,why bother but you know you worked hard building career . What would happen if you tr@vel. Overseas travel may take a while. Would you feel motivated and have the energy to travel.

Making big decisions when depressed is difficult even small ones are hard. You can see both sides. CN you take a long period offfrom your career so you have the option of return to it.

At the moment it seems the depression will be around forever and that would affec5 your decisions.
Many years ago I would start studying at uni only to drop out when depressed then start another course when I felt ok , you see the pattern. That was my experience as I felt I could not cope when depressed. That is just me.

have you a doctor or counsellor you can talk to.

Thanks for sharing your story.
Did writing down your thoughts help in any way ?

[HappyHelper88]

Hello Whits Thankyou for your post and welcome

I can definitely relate i have often moved between the 2 states of getting back to my old self and wanting to stay home all the time but i managed to have a good balance between the 2 and move forward. I understand how you feel but you will be able to break out of the cycle with some help, it took me a while but through perseverance i succeeded. Have you ever spoken to someone about this? It would be beneficial to talk to someone about how your feeling as they could see things from a different perspective

If you want to talk this through with a Beyond Blue counsellor, we’re on 1300 22 4636 or you can reach us on webchat. It can really help to talk things like this through.

[Banksy92]

I can definitely relate to this - earlier this year (due to lockdowns) I was so depressed and apathetic about my job I was desperate to quit and change industries. I feel like when we're at our lowest, it is tempting to just change something drastic to try and shift how we feel. Although sometimes all we need are small changes.

For me, it was starting some volunteer work on the side of my job and putting in a gradual plan towards my goals. It's not easy as naturally, I like to do things impulsively, but a few months down the track I'm really glad I am moving slower, it is much less stressful.

If you don't mind me asking, have you considered connecting with a psychologist or councillor to work through what you're feeling right now? This might be a helpful space for you, if you aren't as close with friends or family right now.

Hope this helps.