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Every time I call a helpline, I regret it.

Skary_Bill
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Writing this as I'm curious to know if this is just a me thing.. I know my situation is not unique. I have depression, and it's always there.. But I don't suffer from it all the time, only when at a really low ebb. And even when that's happening, I have the experience to know it will pass.. Which gives me the confidence to keep my spirits up and shine a little light into the darkness.

Every now and then, it's just not enough, and no amount of positive thinking, food, vices or cute animal videos will fill the hole. And it's on these occasions that I find myself thinking I'm in over my head and I really need to talk to someone. Connect with another human.. Just literally have a chat with someone who's not teetering on the brink of the abyss.. Get a bit of perspective.. Perhaps some encouragement. But mostly, just to hear a friendly persons voice, and get out of my own head for a few minutes.. If I wasn't sobbing uncontrollably, I might just have a chat with the neighbor over the fence or something. But the crying thing does make that awkward. lol

And so it comes to be that once or twice a year I will overcome my anxiety to pick up the phone and call a stranger, hoping for nothing more than a brief, pleasant, light hearted chat with someone who understands what I'm feeling, or at the very least someone who will put up with the blubbering for a few mins.

But in all the years I've been on this journey, I'm yet to ever actually find that person for that chat in my time of need. And it's probably in some part my anxiety playing it's role.. But I need to know, is it just me that finds calling a helpline results in a formulaic conversation that feels more like an interview and is guaranteed to include the topic of self harm? Am I the only one thinking, if I answer some of these questions wrong, I'll end up with authorities banging on my door to check my welfare.. Wondering what list I just got my name on..

Clearly these lines aren't setup to offer the help I need. But I find calling them so stressful, I wonder how many ppl feel the same.

27 Replies 27

randomx
Community Member

Hi op .

And yeah, l can relate to the helpline stuff and many other things. But things helplines will shoot at you are very predictable and personally , it doesn't faze to just shoot of the right answer in those regards and get on with things l find. Speaking of people banging on your door btw yeah. we actually had cops turn up once from a helpline complete misunderstanding. My gf's English is hard if you don't know her or her you, and she was talking about her ex Husband .

Have you tried Mensline , l've found they can be v good at times. Unfortunately since going through divorce and some very low periods l've used them a few times. lt is hard though at others and you do wonder. They rush through their questions you know the clocks ticking and their buzzers going of for the next one and the next waiting. lt'd be a damn hard job that is for sure and l really take the hat of to those that do at least try to help.lt has been a mixed bag though most definitely. l'd much rather be seeing somebody on a regular and familiar basis but that's pretty hard to organize from where l am.

Mensline will do a call back thing where they'll call you every wk for l think it's 6wks , with the time and no pressure to actually discuss things properly. The problem was though that they're so busy they can't really give you a time so that could be any time of day and catch you very of guard and not ready. The other thing was that it was a different person ea time and so you had to go though it all again.

rx

mmMekitty
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello Forrest,

Since this is SkaryBill’s thread about experiences when calling helplines, may I suggest, meeting me elsewhere to chat about any other subject.

I’d be happy to continue talking. But I can’t be here all the time. I need breaks.

When I can, I will be around the forums, often playing some of the word games, or in the BB Café. I also enjoy Last to Post Wins, because to me, it’s another fun place for brief chats, & playing.
I also have my own “Introducing mmMekitty” thread, which can be found in the, “Long term support over the journey” section. You are welcome to drop in there, & talk about anything you want. Just be aware, sometimes I & others, might talk about some heavy stuff.
Also, you might consider making your own thread, to talk & invite others in for a chat there.
Please, let’s talk more soon. My thread is always there.

Warmly,

mmMekitty


Thanks for your thoughtfulness mmMekitty. ❤ I'm sure in due course our paths can cross as I manure around here and yes, would love to chat as appropriate. I also take breaks etc. so you're in understanding company there. I really wasn't trying to start any new topics in this thread, I only meant to express appreciation for your post in leui of a more detailed explanation of it, and then clarified my situation as it became relevant. It wasn't meant to imply I was trying to start a whole new chat about me. (I do also have a couple of my own threads already too, but thanks for the suggestion.)

Random thanks for the extra tips (even though messiness might not serve me personally, there are probably people I might come across I can suggest it to where appropriate.) And as I said earlier, sometimes ideas spark other ideas.

Forrest
Community Member
Men's line, not messiness. I swear I caught that error already and fixed it but I guess the autocorrect got it twice.

Forrest
Community Member
Also, manevre, not manure haha. Or at least I hope I can act with enough finesse to be in the former not the latter!

Skary_Bill
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi everyone, Just a quick touch base today. Mice have nibbled the wiring in my car and gone to the toilet in the cabin air system. Which has had an impact on my mobility.. And I'm still working on fixing it, so my visits may be more sporadic than usual. Life's never boring huh.. If any of you live West of the great dividing range and enjoy features like lights and wipers in a car that doesn't reek. I'm going to suggest get some baits or traps out asap, because the damage happens so quickly. like literally over the weekend sort of thing.

@ randomx Heya, thanks for the suggestions. I did connect with mensline once with minimal result. Friendly and helpful, but seem mostly geared towards guys working through relationship stuff. And my remote location makes callbacks more miss than hit. But that weekly callback sounds like a very cool service.

@Forrest I can so relate to being at a low ebb and not having much to offer, but wanting to acknowledge people. Hope things brighten up for you soon, if not already.

G'day mmMekitty, really appreciate your thoughts. I must say the term PDr is new to me, although I can take a guess based on context. 🙂 Out here I get excited when the internet drops in.. lol It's been interesting going without it, what I miss the most is the instant access to information. From identifying creatures around me to diagnosing a malfunctioning machine.. And maths.. Turns out at some point I just forgot half of what I knew and started just using handy web based calculators.

I've got to say, the birds have been one of the stand out features of my location. Because of the altitude here, I get all the mountain birds, bell minors, whipbirds, currawongs on a misty morning etc. But there's another layer, which is tiny birds.. The finches, robins, wagtails, etc.. Who, by all accounts have accepted me into their social circles.. My setup is super rustic.. Basically one step up from camping. And at some point they just decided ok this guy's cool and included me in their lives. They come into camp to say hello in the mornings. Last year they pestered me to investigate a feral cat.. literally.. And the most surprising bit of all is communal bathing.. I usually warm a couple of buckets in the sun and have a bush shower before the days light fades.. And they join.. I ended up setting up a bird bath next to my outdoor shower, and when I bathe, they do too. And I'm sure they're just using me as protection from predators.. But I feel like part of the gang.. lol

MeKitty looks like she was a lovely girl, may she rest in peace. I'm a huge fan, but after my last 2 cat's moved on I made the decision to not have another where I am. I guess it was the choice between the little creatures or the fluffy friend. Although if I'd chosen differently, my car might smell better right now.. I love words and names that work on a couple of different levels. So my avatar is that of a guy opening a letter, and reeling in shock at it's contents.

Anyway, thanks for connecting.

randomx
Community Member

Gday op.

l didn't know that about mens line but ha, relationship and divorce were the main reason l used them but l didn't know that was their thing. But it was a mixed bag and l walked away feeling even emptier to sometimes, others did help though.

Funny , bad mice here this yr to l've caught more than any other yr. little rascals l keep trying to explain to them that this is my house and they've gotta move out, they just don't get it. l hate things getting nasty for the little fellas buttt , what else can we do. Sounds like they're getting expansive at yours. Once the chewed through my fridges main connection , dunno how they survived that.

Look after yourself. rx