Doing so well for a while....

[Scott76]

I've been suffering what my psychiatrist calls a severe depressive episode for over a year. In that year I have lost my dad, mother in law, and best friend to cancer. I've been in a mental health ward in that time for three days and barely at work.

First saw the psychiatrist a month or so ago and after a few tries it seemed that we got my meds right - the medication really helped and improved my motivation.

yesterday I accidentally took my night meds in the morning. I slept most of the day. At the end of the day got some bad news about my mums pension resulting from her selling her house. The feeling of dread and hopelessness returned. Had a horrible night's sleep, dreamt I was at my friends dad's funeral.

Teary and overwhelmed.

[Starwolf]

Hi Scott, good to meet you.

You have done a lot of grieving without breathing space in between. It has of course taken a toll.Finding a psy you can connect and work with is a precious asset. So is finding the medication that suits you best.

Setbacks happening when things are beginning to look up are disheartening. I am sorry to read it has been the case. Centrelink can be a pitiless org...I understand your mother's distress and your concerns about her well being as to avoid a similar situation, I am forced to stay in a primitive shack and the harsh conditions that go with it...or I would also lose my part pension. It also forces me to continue to work part time in old age instead of retiring.

It will be a time for your mother to consider her options and no doubt make difficult decisions. She is lucky to have you but it is putting extra pressure on your already struggling mind. It seems that you are in good professional hands so I hope you can put heads together with your therapist to help you over this new rough patch. Do you have siblings who could help out ?

Readjusting to a different lifestyle will be difficult for your mother but endings also mean new beginnings. She will have to find accommodation that suits her needs. I guess she sold her house because it was no longer what she needed but didn't realize it would be seen by Centrelink as a windfall which now affects the amount of pension she can get. Working out with them what can and cannot be done in her specific circumstances would be the first step. Perhaps she could invest into something that would give her regular income ?

I hope you can get financial advice on her situation so that you are both able to move on from this setback.

[Questo]

Dear Scott,

I know what depression is like. It is really bad from my experience. A nightmare.

I feel for you. I think things will be ok in time.

I found managing the symptoms of depression to be hard at times but not impossible. I had to make sure I was kind and gentle to myself. I am hoping you are as well.

You sound like a nice person.

[geoff]

hi Scott, I can only say how sorry I feel for you for the loss of the people you loved that have passed away, at times there can't be any words that we can offer that will suffice.
With regard to your mum's house their is a maximum dollar amount where the pension begins to change, so perhaps she could look into buying a flat/unit as an investment, even though I know that any rent will be shown as an income, but I suggest that she as well as you go and talk with a financial consultant, specialising in centrelink payments. Geoff.

[Scott76]

I haven't posted for a while but this seems like the place to post. I don't even know what to write about. I'm trying really hard to keep to my routine as both my psychologist and psychiatrist have suggested. The problem with this has been that parts of my routine have end points. For instance in the morning I was helping my mother move her belongings into my garage (my father passed last year), we would do a a car load each morning. But now the house is empty and sold and that part of my routine is gone and I have found nothing to fill it with. In the afternoons after lunch I would hit the treadmill for my daily exercise. I started quite slowly (I gained 20kilos when I started my new meds and lost a lifetime of fitness) but am now up to doing 5ks in thirty minutes and then a further five in the next 45 minutes. I thought I was gaining back the fitness that I have always had (effortlessly) throughout my life (fortunate genes I guess) but when I put this fitness to the test on the weekend at a football game (I play old man footy once a fortnight) it was if I hadn't made any gains at all. After the game I was distraught and had to wear my sunglasses during the traditional post game can of beer so that no one could see how upset I was.

In addition to this I am in the process of claiming income continuance from my insurer and while the people who are on the other end of the phone helping me fill the forms out couldn't be nicer the whole thing continually reduces me to tears.

Some days it doesn't seem to be getting any easier

[Scott76]

Never fails to amaze me how quick things can go from feeling great to feeling rubbish

[Kid_in_denial]

Sorry to hear you are feeling so down, mate. You've had a tough year. You seem to have gone through a whole lot of grief in such a short period. It is good you are getting out and doing things. Much more motivated than where I stand at the minute. Maybe you need to get out and try a few different new things until you find something to fill the void. Trial and error I guess.

Anyway I just wanted you to know I read your post and I hope things get better for you soon.