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Confused...

PMMASE
Community Member

I'm not too sure how this may help, but I guess expressing myself via writing is better than not expressing myself at all right? Because I feel that I cannot express myself in any other way, such as talking to someone about my thoughts and emotions. Don't get me wrong, I do have wonderful people around me, but I don't want to worry them...I don't know, it might just upset them? This post might be ‘everywhere’ because I’m just writing what I am thinking.

Today is one of the worser months...I just felt so overwhelmed with everything that I had to cry it out. Usually it would be just a low mood or even frustration with prior events that may have happened, but then this would lead me to constantly think back to it and worsens my mood or frustration (I dont even know if this is making any sense..). It's like, I am down and/or erratic and/or anxious. I just get so tired of trying (for anything) sometimes. I guess in a way I get tired of being me because I feel that nothing is going right for me...I mean..is there something wrong with me that I am unable to work and study? I get overwhelmed, whereas other students manage fine. I used to work two jobs but since beginning of this year I felt like it would be too stressful for me to handle. Compared to my friends, I am quite incompetent. They all have jobs, go out when they want to and simply have fun. I, on the other-hand, am always worried about going out and having fun because I just don't have the ability to do so – financially and parents. And I feel bad for boyfriend who usually has to deal with my emotional outbreaks because whenever I am having these emotions, even the littlest things he does or say will just set me off even more - only to cause us to argue. He is a wonderful and caring person, that is why - even though he is the person I always turn to - I cannot put this kind of pressure on him (and also family), to have them constantly worrying about me will just make me feel guilty. But I don't know...sometimes they are the reasons why I get overwhelmed and overly-anxious (particularly my parents who are most restrictive on me compared to my other siblings - it's not that I am the youngest either). Not to mention adding the pressure being the typical Asian parents they are. And this is the reason I have become a member of Beyondblue. 

I have noticed that this happens about once a month and some months are worse than others, where I would just cry in bed for that day. Or maybe it's just because of the usual 'pms' that girls/woman have going on? Maybe I'm just over-thinking things, thinking that I have a problem because I have studied about mental health issues. Perhaps I just think that I may have a mental health issue, when I really don't? Or is it just me complaining..?

7 Replies 7

The_Real_David_Charles
Community Member

Dear pmmase,

I'd have to agree that it does sound a bit like over thinking but then have you read one of my responses ?  Lol.

Quickly wanted to agree with you re:  "thinking that I have a problem because I have studies about mental health issues".   We seem to entwine a labyrinth of thought with study with life in general with family dynamics,etc.   Maybe the worst offenders are those that study psychology of which a sizeable % attempt suicide.   It's just a spiral.    The ever ready judgement call and the ever present justification.

Might be worth getting a few strategies or working solutions in place.  If you're "overwhelmed and anxious" now then consider what marriage and having a family will do in terms of this.   I don't see why "complaining" isn't a worthy function.  It's when you don't express yourself that you have real problems.

Two jobs and study.   Kind of a point of no return.   Do you have any me time ?

Adios, David.

Shifte
Community Member

Hi....

First and foremost your not alone, This sounds to me like you have been dealing with things on the inside of a long time and are to Scared (polite) To burden other people with your issues. You say your friends do this and your friends do that. You are are and are special  in your own way Our minds can only deal with so much before we start to get anxiety and depression its from suppressing all feelings of anger, hurt, frustration and all the other negative feelings bottled up inside. And no you are not complaining this is the first step in getting better and feeling good. Book a visit to your GP and u can get some free counseling sessions with out anyone ever knowing you will be amazed the world of difference talking about all this stuff can help!!.......Hope you fell better Adam.

Drone165
Community Member

First thing..  It is NOT just you!  I'm a male so I can't claim to know a whole lot about PMS, it might be a factor...but unlikely IMHO to be the cause.

About 20yrs ago..actually more like 30...I could have written that exact post.

It's only when you actually open up that you find that these things that you think are YOUR issues are so common...almost everyone has 'em..and some cope better than others.

If I could reccomend...go to www.mantherapy.org.au and watch the "Triumph" testimonials.

I am sure you will identify with many of the speakers, and feel less "alone" after it.

 There are options out there, and take it from me..they do help.

 

Good luck

J___1
Community Member

PMMASE

Judging by your wording of school work and jobs, i would assume you are in high school or possibly uni or tafe. If that is the case it does get to everyone, some people handle it in different ways, reaching out and simply talking about it is definitely one of the better options and even that takes courage.

I know a number of people studying and they have a lot of stress already not to mention the ones juggling jobs as well. The way you're feeling is just something that happens and i don't think there is a person out there who hasn't felt how you're feeling now. There are simple ways to go out and have fun, either cheap or free. Not to mention the company of friends can substantially better someones mood. As for the parents, not knowing what they're like i would assume sitting down and asking for one night a week or so to go out wouldn't go unheard or discussed.

I used to date a girl who did nursing while also doing work placement, and sometimes a paying job too. She would come over tired, sore and about ready to crack at the slightest thing, and i was prepared for that and waited it out and just let her cry while i sat there with her. Your boyfriend should be prepared to do this too, if not maybe you need to discuss things with him also.

But to summarize, it's all going to be OK. You'll look back to this time one day and realize that you were OK all along, and you are. But talking is a great step to kick start feeling better. Good on you. Not many people are willing to talk to people they know, let alone strangers.

Pixie15
Community Member

Hi, Pmmase I am a person of the feminine gender and have had more than a few decades experience with PMS. Sometimes you just have to cry. That is alright we are allowed all our emotions. Aerobic exercise such as running can help. You may want to talk to your doctor about what your experiencing. I would choose a female doctor and book a long appointment so that you do not feel rushed. It would seem from your writing that you have given up working so that you can concentrate all your efforts on studying, work is good for your social life and and self esteem and you have more money and independence. Hope these thoughts help. Chris.

geoff
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

dear PMMASE, did you say incompetent, there is never anybody with depression, anxiety etc. that can tag themselves as such.

Although people may feel as though they are we find it hard to accept, because depression, anxiety or what ever has control over you and making you feel this way, we understand this, because we have been there ourselves.

I don't understand the Asian culture, but from what I have seen on TV the parents can be rather strict, correct me if I'm wrong.

Once we start comparing ourselves to our friends this can be a big down fall when we are in depression, it only deepens our illness, who cares if little Johnnie has a new car and I have a bomb, does that make him/her a better person, no way, sure I would like to have a new car, but that can't happen yet.

He or she can go around being Fonz (Happy Days TV show ) with his leather coat on and all the girls want him, or being a famous female with all the males wanting to date her, but not yet I have depression which I have to address first.

Your time will come, and when it does you will become a stronger person, not that you believe so now, but trust us, it does happen.

I'm obviously a male, but girls do have PMS, ouch, but there are other problems that need attention, but we aren't sure of your age, as J*** says you maybe at high school, which would then have your parents wanting to take control of what you do.

Hope that you can reply back to us. Geoff. x

PMMASE
Community Member

I really didn't expect this kind of response and I'm thankful that you all took time to read and reply. I have to admit, after writing the post, I was doubting if I should have in the first place. Just found the courage to check this morning.

Most of the time I feel like if I have my 'alone time' The Real David Charles, it just allows me more time to think about my worries, so I have to be doing something. I try though...I consider being on this forum as alone time.

Shifte, if I don't think that I'm severely impaired by this, then is it worth it to seek a GP yet? Maybe I can wait it out? I need to find the courage to go out and see a GP or counsellor first though...

I have seen the commercial for www.mantherapy.org.au a couple of times and thought to myself, 'it is not for me, because it's for men', I didn't even think to just check it out. I will now though, thanks Drone165

I am a uni student, and funnily enough, I am studying nursing/midwifery as well J*** . And I find that it can be too stressful for me with placements and uni, and that is why I don't work. But I will consider it again...because my social life and confidence is slowly fading away, not that it was all great beforehand.

The saddest thing is that I do, do regular exercise Chris09 but it hasn't stopped me from feeling this way or having a good night's sleep. I will exercise and am relieved of the thoughts, but then it will just come back again. And so i sometimes take natural pills to help ease my mind.

Geoff, I know what you are saying is true, that I shouldn't compare myself to my friends or even my siblings, but it is a bit difficult. Like the saying "easier said than done"? And it is generally the traditional Asian parents who are more strict (which are my parents, even though they are quite young).

To be honest, reading these words of support has brighten up my morning, and hopefully it will stay that way the whole day. Thank you.