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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 0

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Teeks An attempt to reach out
  • replies: 2

Hi all, Not sure how far I will get in this post. I have been needing to reach out to someone/something for a while now but haven't been able to. While I have known that BeyondBlue is always there, I feel immense fear in connecting with the community... View more

Hi all, Not sure how far I will get in this post. I have been needing to reach out to someone/something for a while now but haven't been able to. While I have known that BeyondBlue is always there, I feel immense fear in connecting with the community. A quick back history: 27yo female, living in WA, been battling mental health (with a few different diagnosis) for the best part of 10 years (first official diagnosis was early 2005), I completed my teaching degree and then post grad in special needs education, I have now left teaching as the uncertainty of a job, nature, hours and stress of the job were too much for me and didn't match the my personality (aside from the mental health). The last two years I have had various casual contracts in jobs that I wasn't happy in, with a manager who was a pain & hours that sucked. Currently unemployed, which is a massive issue right now. Have a very supportive network but that just don't "get" it. Okay, so that wasn't so brief...I tend to talk a lot and just trying to let myself ramble and reach out here...the hardest step will be hitting "post this thread". Now: I can't afford to see a counsellor, I'm living on bare minimum as it is. I have tried finding/asking about a free counsellor, so far with no luck. I feel myself spiraling backwards - the negative self-talk, attacking and analysing anything I may have said or done, the complete lack of self-worth. Without sounding up myself, I feel that my intelligence and understanding of everything that is happening to me is my downfall. I can't really explain that right now but it is certainly putting the tears on my face, which tells me that it is a big issue/concern. I feel like I'm too "functioning" to receive help. Everyone sees the functioning side but noone sees what happens underneath that to get to that part. I spend my days fighting and arguing with myself. I don't know what is good for me to do, what is too much. I have lost all sense of trust in myself. And, then my tolerance levels are so low...I feel for my boyfriend. He copes all the mood swings and irrationality and it isn't fair. Sorry all for the rambling I have tears streaming down my face but am feeling a sense of relief that I have been able to write this down, and that hopefully someone might read it and "get it". I do have a great GP (but I'm wondering after 10 years whether I need to try someone else's approach). I am on meds - not sure they are working. Teeks

Brooke89 My daily routine of not having a routine is sending me crazy (well, crazier...)
  • replies: 0

Hi, today I decided to sign up to Beyond Blue to reach out for help and advice for myself. I' m lost, frustrated and majorly lacking motivation. I'm approaching the one year mark of being off work (covered by income protection for both physical and m... View more

Hi, today I decided to sign up to Beyond Blue to reach out for help and advice for myself. I' m lost, frustrated and majorly lacking motivation. I'm approaching the one year mark of being off work (covered by income protection for both physical and mental health issues). Whilst I have tackled some of my physical health issues, this mental battle isn't so easily fixed. I'm sad to say that I am probably mentally worse now than I was a year ago. I have a very supportive partner who I couldn't fault, and for that I am extremely grateful, but I worry that he may enable me to succomb to every little negative feeling I experience. I feel like I needed the past year to deal with my health issues rather than continuing to soldier on whilst struggling and not meeting the expectations of my employer or keep a household together, but now, a year later, I am spending my days in bed and sleeping around 18 hours of the day. I will not leave my room as I do not wish to socialise with my flatmates. In the evenings my partner comes home from work and arranges dinner. When he goes to sleep I lie there half awake waiting for my pain medication to kick in (I have recurring migraines and strong prescription pain killers for this) which in turn makes me drowsy and sends me to sleep again. I will generally wake up around 11am the following day and immediately try to fall asleep again. Getting out of bed just seems so overwhelming. My bedroom is a mess and it haunts me, I see it as a reminder that I don't have my life together and I feel guilty for the way I am living. I don' t want to live like this anymore but I have no idea how to help myself. I have read some information online but putting anything into action feels impossible and daunting. I would much appreciate any advice you might have. Thank you (P.S - I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Depression and am on medication for this which I don't feel is working. My GP has advised that it will take a number of months to feel the full effect and has a plan for me to see a psychologist in the new year. I worry that I won't even be able to leave the house to attend these appointments).

deepdarkwoods rock bottom
  • replies: 5

Hi All, I'm hoping to get some support and advice here as I don't know how much more I can take, of myself or my circumstances. I have suffered with depression for many years but the last couple of years I have hit rock bottom again and again. I have... View more

Hi All, I'm hoping to get some support and advice here as I don't know how much more I can take, of myself or my circumstances. I have suffered with depression for many years but the last couple of years I have hit rock bottom again and again. I have read a few posts on here but really haven't found much I can connect with or relate to as I feel like I haven't had anything to be happy about for some time now. Three years ago I ended up in a psych ward with a really bad depressive episode after breaking up with my partner of 11 years who I have 2 lovely children to. I was prescribed antidepressants and started to claw my way out of the hole. Spent some time in crisis accommodation and slowly got myself back into work and started making a life and things were looking up. 6 months later I started the slide downwards again and haven't been able to pick myself up. I lost my job but managed to be positive enough to find another within 3 days. around the same time I met a girl who I really hit it off with and ended up relocating a few hours away to be with her even though I let my depression get to me again and lost my job again. since then everything has gone from bad to worse. Long story short but it turns out my new girlfriend seems to have BPD and as soon as I moved in with her she started abusing me. She gets into rages telling me I am faking depression, using her, A burden on her, that im a terrible father, cheater - everything under the sun. She has kicked me out of the house many times, leaving me to fend for myself on the streets for days at a time before saying sorry and asking me back. I feel stupid but so many times I came back hoping things will get better. A few months ago things I had gotten so stressed and depressed and anxious that I ended up getting admitted to hospital again and trying to get help. they started me on new antidepressants which I don't really think are working and stupidly I came back to my girlfriend afterwards. I have gotten so bad I just loathe myself for my weakness for coming back here, it just adds to the self-hate I have. I don't have anything at all other than my clothes and a few small items. I haven't answered calls from any of my very few friends and have just shut everyone out. Christmas is coming and I have no money, no job, a relationship that is toxic and just feel like I am all alone and helpless. I really don't know where to turn to any more.

Neil_1 Recent weeks, horrible days and where to now?
  • replies: 58

Dear all, dear friends This post could be placed on 3-4 other forum headings, but I've decided to lodge it here. Mainly cause of the overwhelming sense of horrible depression that I've got on board with me at this time. I'm numb, I'm empty, I'm gutte... View more

Dear all, dear friends This post could be placed on 3-4 other forum headings, but I've decided to lodge it here. Mainly cause of the overwhelming sense of horrible depression that I've got on board with me at this time. I'm numb, I'm empty, I'm gutted and everything is just moving along like a blur. Dear friends, one week ago (Tuesday night), I lost my Mum - she fought a long long fight with cancer, but the mongrel disease took her in the end. The reason you haven't had me on Beyond Blue for some time now is that I've been back in my home town with Mum and then the last week, well, you can imagine. Yesterday was her funeral - and it was a lovely service. A year ago Mum wrote her own eulogy and it was her wish that I read it out. Which I did. I also created my own eulogy of my personal memories of Mum and read that as well. I stumbled on a few occasions, but I had my daugther up front with me, and she held my arm, to keep me going. I did the same thing for my Dad (7 years ago) and it was something that I knew I had to do for Mum as well. I must have done ok, because many people commented to me or my brother afterwards about the eulogies and how good they were. I've been away from "home" now for coming up to 30 years - as I commented in part of my eulogy - and that during that time, I would have phoned the family phone number thousands and thousands of times. But now, the house is empty and I won't be phoning that number ever again. As I also said in my eulogy, I don't know how I'm going to go in the future - certainly not forward - it might just a case of sideways for a while. So I now have both my parent's no longer here (as well as a very close brother) - my dad's and brother's deaths devastated me and now my Mum (I was a mummy's boy as well). I'm going to miss her so much. Neil ps: I may post occasionally in the coming days - but they may be few and far between at this stage. I won't be going away, but I just have nothing inside to offer.

stevo210209 Something that is helping me, which I wanted to share!
  • replies: 2

Hi Guys I use an iPhone app called "My Wonderful Days", where I can list good things that happened during the day. I have found that using this app, has helped me to stay in a positive mind frame. Hope this helps someone else, like it has helped me. View more

Hi Guys I use an iPhone app called "My Wonderful Days", where I can list good things that happened during the day. I have found that using this app, has helped me to stay in a positive mind frame. Hope this helps someone else, like it has helped me.

MsSassy Reccuring Breakdowns/Meltdowns
  • replies: 1

A couple of days ago I was able to identify that I was building up to an emotional meltdown. I noticed the signs (feeling something bad was going to happen, anxious thinking, unable to concentrate, out of body feeling, on edge) and despite my attempt... View more

A couple of days ago I was able to identify that I was building up to an emotional meltdown. I noticed the signs (feeling something bad was going to happen, anxious thinking, unable to concentrate, out of body feeling, on edge) and despite my attempts to prevent it the following day I feel full-blown into it. Inconsolable tears, anger, guilt, hopelessness). And then today, I'm back to feel ok and normal. This has been happening every couple of months for the last year or so. Each time it has happened previously I've thought that it was the last one and that it was just an instance that wouldn't happen again. Its only now that I have noticed the recurrence of it all. I'm not being treated for anything as outside of these episodes I'm usually pretty OK and well functioning. But I do suspect there could be some sort of mild depression lurking as I do feel different to what I felt say two-three years ago or before I went through quite an emotional trauma. Is there something quite serious happening with me that maybe I do need to get addressed medically?? Sorry if I'm sounding a bit all over the place.

Lookingforpeace Sick and tired
  • replies: 6

Hi all, been a while... Thought I was doing well then became sick and it's like it's undone all my hard work on my mental health. Currently seeing doctors/specialists to figure out what's wrong but the not knowing is making me anxious and depressed (... View more

Hi all, been a while... Thought I was doing well then became sick and it's like it's undone all my hard work on my mental health. Currently seeing doctors/specialists to figure out what's wrong but the not knowing is making me anxious and depressed (along with not feeling well). So anyway, yesterday when I was feeling particularly ill, my husband was "bored" so decided to go out for a while. When he eventually got home, he was acting strange and I was feeling sick and emotional and basically had a meltdown - could not stop crying. He was very unsympathetic and trying to pick fights with me about other things. Later I asked him if he'd been drinking and he said no. Well I'm not an idiot, and suspected he'd been drinking when out earlier that day. So I looked through his phone and let's just say it became apparent he had spent a couple of hours at the pub. I'm so angry he lied to me,decided to go out when I was sick, then shows me no support or sympathy when I had my meltdown. I don't know whether to confront him about it now or after Christmas (bearing in mind we will be travelling in a few days and spending 6 hours in the car together). Thoughts please.

MrsCam so confused and angry
  • replies: 9

so I am back at home now after being in perth clinic for 15 days. I figured out pretty early on that I was better off just telling the nurses & my doctor that I agreed with everything the doctor said and to just hide from everyone what i was really t... View more

so I am back at home now after being in perth clinic for 15 days. I figured out pretty early on that I was better off just telling the nurses & my doctor that I agreed with everything the doctor said and to just hide from everyone what i was really thinking and feeling. my husband did ask one of the nurses early in my stay about getting a second opinion but she said it would be next to impossible to do while i was a patient admitted by my current psych and she insisted to him that it wasnt necessary and that I just needed to change my personality problem which is the opinion of the psych. anyhow after this nurse told me "its easy just decide to change" and said "stop being negative" when she found me crying in my room and my doctor laughed about me being grumpy thats when I decided i was done with being honest with anyone there. now i am back home and my husband wants me to tell my gp about all of this and ask him for a referral for another psych but I dont know if I can do all that. I just feel like i dont want to open up to anyone else as i dont like how it makes me feel when Im invalidated. i dont know what to do

Detsaw Having difficulty coping with my Mind
  • replies: 8

Hello everyone, I can not seem to escape my own negative view of myself, everything I do and what I think others think of me I tend to see the negative. I am doing my PhD, its taking a long time to get here (I am 10 years older than the average Phd S... View more

Hello everyone, I can not seem to escape my own negative view of myself, everything I do and what I think others think of me I tend to see the negative. I am doing my PhD, its taking a long time to get here (I am 10 years older than the average Phd Student). I have been having problems of confidence and I feel bad all the time. I have tried working through it but I am not succeeding at it. I seem to be constantly worrying/ruminating with my negative thoughts.I don't feel like I was good enough, I had to give a seminar for my work, I feel it did not go well. I am struggling to find anything enjoyable again.I want to please my supervisor/friend. I highly respect them, a lot of my self worth is tied up in their approval. What the hell do I do? How do I stop my brain from trying to sabotage me? Why does it feel like some part of mine is trying to ruin me??

Jude7 Too tired to try fighting it
  • replies: 2

Let me start by saying i've had depression since I was about 12, it started with bullying and turned into something very different over the past 6 years. In that time I've been on antidepressants but stopped taking them after a year as i felt "normal... View more

Let me start by saying i've had depression since I was about 12, it started with bullying and turned into something very different over the past 6 years. In that time I've been on antidepressants but stopped taking them after a year as i felt "normal" again. There have been darker times and easier times but all the while I have put in effort to see someone, go for a walk, take my mind off things.. etc. In the past year I have gained 20kg. I eat a lot of unhealthy foods and will often decide to take "me days" in which i will stay inside my room and eat junk. I have trouble controlling my appetite and despite not being happy with my appearance, have stayed fairly positive as far as my body image goes..(to an extent). In the past 5 months however its gotten worse. Every day has become a "me-day".. I've lost my friends, confidence, and my boyfriend of 2 years is no longer attracted to me. Although he stays, he wants to see me fight my depression like i always have. But I can't. I'm exhausted of trying to fight to get better. Until coming on this website I refused to speak to anyone including him and my family about how I feel. I can't fight the same problems anymore. I'm already overweight and i have no motivation to get up and try to put my life together. So i sit inside my room and complain that I'm "too exhausted" when in reality i do nothing with my life. This has been a hard couple of months. I want to make things better. But i need help getting my drive back. Where do i start?