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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Toad Life
  • replies: 1

(trigger warning for dugs, self harm, and mentions of suicide) I don't really know what to do with my life, or how to function anymore. I haven't cleaned my room in months (you can't even see the floor) and it's getting harder and harder to keep up w... View more

(trigger warning for dugs, self harm, and mentions of suicide) I don't really know what to do with my life, or how to function anymore. I haven't cleaned my room in months (you can't even see the floor) and it's getting harder and harder to keep up with assignments. My parents divorced a few years ago and my mum started spiralling and became depressed so I went to live with my dad for a few months. I later found out that she was and (I think) is using some type of drugs to cope (some kind that makes you productive?). Now I live half the time with each parent, and my mum is better I think, but our house still stinks from the mess and... I don't really know what's happening in the other area. My dad is OK but very distant and strict. A couple months ago his girlfriend moved in with us and brought her 3 kids, so the house is very cramped with 7 of us (I also have a little sister). My stepsister and younger stepbrother are nice, and I'm particularly close with the girl, but my older stepbrother is a bit, well I don't really know how to put this but a bad person, he has ADHD and I get that's a struggle, but I am autistic and (I think) I'm still a nice person. Our parents (dad+step-mum) started rationing food and he always takes food out of everyone else's boxes, so now we don't have enough to eat lunch at school. And he will have these outbursts in which he threatens to kill everyone, honestly his mum coddles him and he has way less chores and more allowance than the rest of us, but that is what it is. About a year ago I turned to self harm to deal with it all, well actually that's a lie, I don't really know why I do it, but I guess I'm just addicted now, I don't actually want to stop and I think that's what scares me, the only person I can really talk to is my stepsister because I know she wouldn't tell anyone. I've been really depressed lately and just don't have the energy to do anything. I have tried to KMS a couple times when I was younger (we don't talk about year 3) but there's no way I would do something like that again. I'm lacking motivation for school, which really sucks cause I pride myself on my grades. This is mainly just a rant, but if you have any advice on how to have energy I'm all ears!

_A_ Lovers or Flatmates
  • replies: 1

42 year old Male in a relationship rut? Partner of 12 years is present and says she is happy in relationship. But her actions speak differently. Her Physical intimacy - gone. No signs of spark or desireHer desire of (general 1v1 time) are goneI often... View more

42 year old Male in a relationship rut? Partner of 12 years is present and says she is happy in relationship. But her actions speak differently. Her Physical intimacy - gone. No signs of spark or desireHer desire of (general 1v1 time) are goneI often feel with everything (kids, work, homelife) I am last place in her eyes I feel like I give my all Physically and emotionally within the relationship. But no matter how many times I raise my issues (namely the above) I feel like they are ignored Life can be difficult, and issues exhasibated with everything life throws (and 2 x teenage kids) i get that. But am I being naive and is this 'house mate' feeling I've had now for a few years. Really the writing on the walls that I've been trying so hard to push past?

geelt I dont know
  • replies: 5

i dont know. maybe i just want to have someone i can talk to. i dont have anyone in my life i can confide in. i keep going in circles and end up here again. i cant seem to relax or destress and it just builds up. i dont feel rested or energised. im l... View more

i dont know. maybe i just want to have someone i can talk to. i dont have anyone in my life i can confide in. i keep going in circles and end up here again. i cant seem to relax or destress and it just builds up. i dont feel rested or energised. im losing more and more control over my emotions. all i can do is bottle how i feel up. i dont have any way to deal with my emotions healthily and it just comes out as anger. i journal and write how i feel in an exercise book but its gotten to the point where writing down how i feel makes me feel frustrated and angry and annoyed and i end up tearing the page with the pen im using. i dont like how it feels to lose control. i stopped going for walks, everything outside feels hostile. cars always zooming by, the path is always crooked and uneven branches keep hanging in my face and people dont smile back. i havent been doing mindfulness and meditation. i cant detach from my thoughts. my thoughts dont want to leave my head. ive been trying to listen to relaxing stories to fall asleep but they dont work. i need to find something that works for me but nothing works. im an idiot that knows i need to improve my health but nothing sticks. stopped going to the gym because i could do the 40 minute walk on a good day but not on a bad one and the bad days keep on happening. ive started cooking my own food but im eating less and less because i cant find space to cook undisturbed. cant do anything without hearing someone complain

string_cheese Discomfort
  • replies: 2

Hi all, Things that used to bring me comfort dont seem to be working anymore. My job can be emotionally stressful, and lately ive been facing many big emotions such as grief, doubt, fear and more doubt. In times like this I reach for comfort. I am lo... View more

Hi all, Things that used to bring me comfort dont seem to be working anymore. My job can be emotionally stressful, and lately ive been facing many big emotions such as grief, doubt, fear and more doubt. In times like this I reach for comfort. I am low on ideas though. So I would love to hear what others do when feeling these things and wanting to cope and learn from these emotions and experiences rather than push it all away. My usual is candles or hugs or cups of tea but as I said its just not really working anymore

snakes_ladders Why I'm always overlooked?
  • replies: 2

OK, I had enough! (no I'm not suicidal). But I'm tired of being dismissed or overlooked. I'm not sure why this happens but it is killing me.I seem to not belong anywhere or any group. I can have hours of good conversations with people, but eventually... View more

OK, I had enough! (no I'm not suicidal). But I'm tired of being dismissed or overlooked. I'm not sure why this happens but it is killing me.I seem to not belong anywhere or any group. I can have hours of good conversations with people, but eventually I seem to fade away. Specially in groups. It not seem to matter how much effort I put in it, I eventually just become a white noise in the background. People seem to hit very well so often and so easily in the first time they have a conversation. But not me. In groups - whether it is at work or team mates form sports, or even close friends - I always end up by myself somehow. It may start great but somehow it just ends.I'm always trying to do the best to everyone, and I'm always the one who does a lot - but I do quietly - and people simply don't see it. If I'm not there doing, things would go astray in so many ways, but the other dude who does much lesser gets all credits because people note them, but not me.One thing that was always against me is that I get bored of most people. I find most people get talking about the same ordinary things and telling the same old jokes. I simply can't interact like this for too long.I'm confused of how my mind is now, after facing so much disappointment, frustration and this feeling of not belonging. I think what I'm asking him help on how to deal with that. More specifically, how to continue having motivation to perform at works, compete in teams, spending time with friends - or cultivating friends, if all I get is distance, being ignored, overlooked, undervalued etc. In the end, I keep feeling the pressure of having to overperformance on everything to be at least accepted.

Guest_80965802 depression
  • replies: 1

i feel depressed but i don’t know if i am, i haven’t felt the same and im always sad, sometimes im happy but someone says something wrong to me and im back to being sad, i dont know what’s wrong with me and i was wondering i could be diagnosed with a... View more

i feel depressed but i don’t know if i am, i haven’t felt the same and im always sad, sometimes im happy but someone says something wrong to me and im back to being sad, i dont know what’s wrong with me and i was wondering i could be diagnosed with a mental health issue

Earth Girl Messed up really badly
  • replies: 6

I won't be able to go completely in depth because it would take a long time, but I use to hang out with some people I went to college with, but we weren't close, they did invite me to their parties though. After a few years, I sort of outgrew the fri... View more

I won't be able to go completely in depth because it would take a long time, but I use to hang out with some people I went to college with, but we weren't close, they did invite me to their parties though. After a few years, I sort of outgrew the friendships (I thought they were still nice though) so I started distancing myself and stopped joining their parties. One day, one of the girls in the group asked me if I wanted to join her and her guy friend for a meal which I did. A day or two later, she invited me and some other people in a group chat if we wanted to see a movie and I told her that I was busy. She then sent me a message letting me know that she was there for me, but as far as our friendship went, she was taking a step back because she knew that I wanted space, which was kind of her, but I didn't know what she meant and thought that she thought that I was annoyed at her. I didn't want her to think that so I told her that I was just going through a hard time and maybe we could catch up sometime. I caught up with her and her guy friend a few times and I think this may have even gone on for about a year, but I can't remember. I was confused because part of me thought that maybe I should stay friends with them because I liked them and they were really nice, but another part of me felt we would probably be more compatible as acquaintances because I didn't feel like I could completely be myself with them, but it still would be nice to talk to them sometimes. I was worried about distancing myself again or just letting them know that I would like to be acquaintances instead because I thought it would hurt their feelings. I remembered my sister's telling me that it's okay to delete people on Facebook, so I did because I just panicked. 3-6 months later, I got a message from both of them asking me why I deleted them. I responded to the girl letting her know that I just didn't really feel a connection (I didn't know what connection meant back then) and she responded very upset, saying things like have fun. I didn't know she was saying that because she felt hurt so I was wondering why she was telling me to f off and so I was really annoyed and said wow, I don't have to be friends with you, I didn't do anything wrong. She said she didn't know what she did either and I was thinking I never said you did anything wrong, I just grew out of the friendship? She later sent me another message saying, "thanks for using me" and blocked me again. It gets worse...

Joycey83 Very low and Sad.
  • replies: 3

Hi, i am Male 42 and i have accomplished nothing in my life. I am lonely, i feel so empty. I do battle every day trying to understand why i was born into the world, i have no purpose or meaning in my life. I didn't do well at school, i had difficulty... View more

Hi, i am Male 42 and i have accomplished nothing in my life. I am lonely, i feel so empty. I do battle every day trying to understand why i was born into the world, i have no purpose or meaning in my life. I didn't do well at school, i had difficulty keeping jobs. I always thought that i was just unlucky that i wasn't smart, intelligent or skilled at anything. I never married or had children, i was hopeless at absolutely everything and i gave up so easily when things got to hard. I was always weak. I used to drive a car and 1 day i just stopped, years past and i lost a lot of confidence as a result of it. I have a lot of fears that greatly effect daily life. I've lost feeling, i have no motivation or get up and go. I hate my life, i hate who i am and what i became. I am not suicidal, i would never hurt myself but i do constantly wish for something bad to happen to me, a health condition that would end me quickly. No suffering, just instant because i have nothing in my life, nothing at all. I feel like i am in a deep, dark hole and i am trapped and there is no way out of it. Everyday is the same, i wake up every morning and look at myself in the mirror and i hate what i see. I wasn't meant for this world, i sort of knew early in my life that i was never going to amount to anything. I was addicted to video games in my youth and it destroyed me in a lot of ways, i only wish i had seen it sooner but the damage was done. I wasted so much of my life and i am paying the price for it now. If only we could turn back time, i never would have touched games knowing what they were going to do to me.

Toneman Depression through sleep issues?
  • replies: 5

I'm not sure where to start here. I've never been a fantastic sleeper - I feel that subconsiously, stress contributes to this. Around 3 weeks ago I started to get a bout of insomnia - struggling to get to sleep, stay asleep, and then stressing during... View more

I'm not sure where to start here. I've never been a fantastic sleeper - I feel that subconsiously, stress contributes to this. Around 3 weeks ago I started to get a bout of insomnia - struggling to get to sleep, stay asleep, and then stressing during the day about going to sleep at night. The last week or so, this seems to have developed into a period of depression - where I feel like I can tear up easily, and everything is an effort. I have a wonderfully supportive wife, 2 great adult aged kids (still at home), work for myself and am financially secure - so don't have anything to worry about. I don't feel like the insomnia really worries me, but worry (there's that word again) that this is contributing to my mental wellbeing. I am reluctant to talk to my GP about it, and don't feel like speaking to a professional will help (I personally don't believe in things like mindfulness etc.)Has anybody experienced this before, and found any techniques that help through self-help? Has getting back into a regular sleep pattern, relieved the depression? Having suffered from a brief period of depression around 7 or 8 years ago, that was related to employment, I recognise the symptoms, but aren't sure what to do about it.

lovablelemon Depressed Partner - treatment resistant
  • replies: 2

Hi Everyone, I'm the partner of my girlfriend of 6 years (who is also my best friend) who has been diagnosed with treament-resistant major depression. We recently moved out of home together, thinking we were both able to support a life together, afte... View more

Hi Everyone, I'm the partner of my girlfriend of 6 years (who is also my best friend) who has been diagnosed with treament-resistant major depression. We recently moved out of home together, thinking we were both able to support a life together, after having endured living apart and with difficult family home situations for 4+ years of our relationship. Unfortunately not long after moving out my partner started suffering what she says is the worst mental health downswing she's had in her adult life. She's mentioned having some before as a teenager, but this time has been so long (been majorly depressed for more than 2 years) and more difficult than ever.She had a decent chunk of savings (over 15k) before getting unwell, but almost all of this has gone toward medical expenses and rent/unpaid leave at her work which she now works at remote 2 days a week. I've really struggled watching her suffer, and feeling her push me away over these two years. During this time she's almost succeeded in ending her life twice, with also having a severe medical reaction to one of her depression medications which was also life threatening. I can't imagine how hard it's been on her. I've been feeling anxiety and hypervigilance as to me it feels like my decisions have saved her life multiple times and it's too much pressure for my conscience to bear that if something had gone even a little differently and I hadn't been hypervigilant she might be dead now. I've also been working and studying at the same time, with 50-60hr a week commitment to hopefully improve our lives. During this period I've just been feeling more and more burnt out in every sense trying to force our lives to function. Some of this was from difficult work, and also in trying to do house tasks, but most of this has shown up in me as deep emotional fatigue, trying to empathise and support her while struggling through my own immense workload. And feeling like I have no real support for this that makes a difference (even though I've started seeing a psychologist and have family for emotional support). I suppose the question I want to ask to everyone is, now that my partner has drained her emergency funds, how on earth is she supposed to look after herself, and how should I be looking after her to also protect my own/our financial futures. The amount of psychologist, dental (oh god the dental costs we can't afford), and psychiatrist bills on top of all the other mounting issues with affording general adult life seem impossible to overcome. With it being a treatment resistant (she's tried over 5 ADs at this point some of which were in an inpatient stay) there doesn't seem to be any hope on the horizon. I don't know how we're supposed to manage, especially at the start of our adult lives.So much of the time I feel like giving up, I can't imagine how she feels being the one to experience these issues in her own body and mind. I feel like I am captor to someone that doesn't want to be here (alive) or to try anymore. I've gone through so many waves of grief at her mortality and attitude toward life, it's a getting harder to still stand and try to push forward, this being even harder now that her financial resources have dwindled.I could probably fund everything she needs for her care, but she's also made clear she doesn't want to place that burden on me. I also don't know (I know this is unjustified and I feel like a horrible human being writing it) that if it came to me doing this for all her expenses, that I wouldn't resent her for the opportunity cost of our lives and financial futures. I don't want to break up with her as I care about her immensely and she would realistically have nobody to turn to. Such a large part of me is absolutely shattered that these are the decisions we've come to with all of our life potential - that we are forced indefinitely to pay into a system that admits so far it cannot help her (treatment resistant) and that I am somehow supposed to sacrifice so much of my/our financial futures for something that feels like a hopeless battle. I don't know what to do, writing this is in some ways a last resort. How are we expected to upfront these costs and live through these difficulties.I feel like it's just a waiting game before we have nothing left to return to and we both have no choice but to give up. Treatment resistant depression is horrible.