Depression

Depression affects people in Australia every day. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with depression.

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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 0

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Jaimi17 I feel so lost
  • replies: 3

I don't really know where to start.. since December 1st 2014 my life has changed and not for the better. I went through a horrible time then and the person I was is no longer who I am. I mean I have seeked help.. was on medication but the doctor took... View more

I don't really know where to start.. since December 1st 2014 my life has changed and not for the better. I went through a horrible time then and the person I was is no longer who I am. I mean I have seeked help.. was on medication but the doctor took me off cause it was not working. I've seen three councillors and I just feel so uncomfortable because I can't say what I want to say without feeling embarrassed because I cry so much.. its like I have no control over my emotions. I think the same things over and over every day.. I can't switch my memories off and its driving me crazy.. I have good periods of 2 weeks where I feel like im getting on the right track but then Im so bad again. I walk on eggs shells because Im scared of how I will react if I feel a certain feeling that upsets me. On Friday I was talking to a co worker and he did something, something that was harmless that triggered this fear inside me and I felt like I couldnt breathe.. I was over thinking everything the rest of the night.. The feeling is hard to explain.. but it is the feelings I felt on the 1st of December 2014. I was diganosed with servere Depression and Anxiety but I feel like its more than that... i feel crazy! I have isolated myself from everyone.. I don't spend time with anybody.. I tell no one anything because ive had friends and family make me feel worse telling me to" get over it" or "move on"....ive made new friends at work but I am so cautious.. I don't trust anyone. Some days I lose my appetite.. Some days I emotionally eat. Just the other night I woke at 3am and just started thinking every bad thing anyone has ever said or done to me. Im either so exhausted or up and down all night. I like to be alone but Im also at a movie laughing and then start crying because I can see people with Friends or Partners.. I get so overwhelmed easy.. but get so disheartened when Im never incuded.. Its so frustrating and exhausting. Work mates pick up on my changes in behaviour and its embarrassing because I can't tell them what I feel inside.. because i have so much pain inside.. Im so lonely but so hurt that I hide away. Do you have any advice or suggestions to help me? I don't have a lot of money but I also know If I don't get some help Im just going to get worse.

Leilee What is wrong with me?!
  • replies: 1

Hi there, I don't even know where to begin. I have never been to counseling or seeked help and to be honest its probably only been the last 2-3 years that i have felt this way (this heavy) so I'm just soo confused in the head. I think about death but... View more

Hi there, I don't even know where to begin. I have never been to counseling or seeked help and to be honest its probably only been the last 2-3 years that i have felt this way (this heavy) so I'm just soo confused in the head. I think about death but i could never harm myself as i don't won't it to effect anybody else. Plus my dog needs me. Funny or as sad as that is i really feel like my dog is all i have. I haven't had a great up bringing, I don't remember much at all from my childhood but i do remember there being a lot of violence. My mum and myself have a very toxic relationship and i feel like a lot of my emtional state comes from her. I have never felt good enough and always felt like i need to prove my worth to her where she would over compensate with my two younger brother's (one who's 2yrs younger has server depression & another who's 8yrs younger was always sick as a child). I know she love's and cares for me but its like she doesn't bother proving it. We have always fought my whole life growing up. I am very gypsy with my nature and an empath where my mother who was very much a gypsy before having us was very judgmental and critical, especially about one's looks. I have always struggled with my weight and and growing up we were all on a pretty strict no fat foods no sugar diet. The middle brother was alway the better looking one, the skinny one and the most popular one but i feel because of all that plus his depression and anxiety mum put a lot of herself into him an blamed me for a lot of his wrong doings or blaming me for the way he is almost. I get really emtional when i talk about my feelings but especially when that comes to talking to my mother. I turn into a nervous wreak and breakdown.

Bezz Confused
  • replies: 5

Ok, so I've never written anything before but I'm not sure where else to turn. Ive been suffering severely for nearly 5 years now. I was a successful builder up until then running my own company with a young family at my feet. In 2013 I was admitted ... View more

Ok, so I've never written anything before but I'm not sure where else to turn. Ive been suffering severely for nearly 5 years now. I was a successful builder up until then running my own company with a young family at my feet. In 2013 I was admitted into hospital with severe anxiety and depression and have been unable to work since. My wife is now our income earner and I am the stay at home dad. Something I'm really struggling with and have a huge amount of guilt about. My depression seems to never have really gone away with me having been in and out of hospital and trying every drug under the sun. I guess I'm just wondering if there are any other guys out there going through anything similar because when I look at what my male friends and family are doing and achieving in life I feel hopeless and alone

Leilee What is wrong with me?!
  • replies: 2

My mum moved away to sydney with my youngest brother when i was 20 and left my middle brother who was 18. He was horrible and very abusive when he drunk which was every weekend. I worked over 50hrs a week managing a busy hair salon and weekend's i wa... View more

My mum moved away to sydney with my youngest brother when i was 20 and left my middle brother who was 18. He was horrible and very abusive when he drunk which was every weekend. I worked over 50hrs a week managing a busy hair salon and weekend's i was pretty much always working so when it came to Friday night's i knew i was in for it and also did my mum as i would ring and ring her for help because he's having a party or wont turn the music down etc etc. Not once did she come to help or fixed the situation let a lot listen. Now fast forward to age 27 it's happening again. I am left with the house and she move away but this time she has met the man of her dreams. I have a lot a pressure on me at the moment with owning my own business and making ends me especially with rent (living in sydney sucks). Im over my job but im stuck in it because i can't get out because of the money. Mum sold our house our only security and moved 4 hours away. That house she sold she bought from the house that we sold with our abusive stepfather. The house that we were abused in while she watched just so "we could have a better life". Yet she sells "our better life" for her new man that i have onlt met 3 times within 2 years. I have a lot i issues i know regarding my mother. She doesn't understand. I only broke down a few weeks ago to her about all my feelings, emotions and issue's that i have with life and with her and her words where "can't you move on and just get over it". And that has stuck to me. What's wrong with me. Why can't i let go of everything and everyone that's every hurt me. Why can't i forgive the word's that they have said or haven't said. Why can't i just better happy. I don't even know if this will make sense i just needed write something down. Thank you

MattRatt New here - suffering from serious relapse of depression
  • replies: 11

Hello everyone. I am new to this forum, but I really felt like I needed some extra help. I've been suffering from major depression and generalized anxiety disorders for 8 years now. I was able to get my symptoms mostly under control with medication a... View more

Hello everyone. I am new to this forum, but I really felt like I needed some extra help. I've been suffering from major depression and generalized anxiety disorders for 8 years now. I was able to get my symptoms mostly under control with medication and CBT, but recently my depression has come back even stronger. I am finding it very difficult to concentrate on my studies, and I fear it's going to affect my graduation. I am going to see my GP about it this week, but I would also appreciate some additional emotional support.

AlwaysLonely Onset of depression...
  • replies: 3

Hi, Firstly I'd just like to say that my heart goes out to everyone here suffering from depression and other forms of mental illness, I think it's the toughest (although i have not experienced it to any levels that i imagine others suffer with) and h... View more

Hi, Firstly I'd just like to say that my heart goes out to everyone here suffering from depression and other forms of mental illness, I think it's the toughest (although i have not experienced it to any levels that i imagine others suffer with) and hope i can be in a place to help others in this area one day... I am concerned I may be starting to get depression at the age of fifty. Firstly I'd like to explain that i have been alone/lonely all my life (physically and mentally), I have very few friends, family/relatives, social-circle; I live alone; I've never had a long-term partner and never lived with a partner. So i have led a VERY, VERY lonely existence all my life. My job just makes enough money to keep me alive, gives me no contact with others. In summary: I have been alone all my life I am always living with the fear of homelessness, due to finances (although i have never faced this yet) I have dealt with my reality fairly well and never suffered serious depression before, although i have felt very lonely and sad at times over the years I have managed to stay motivated to exercise and live a reasonably healthy (sleep and diet) existence I have never been content or happy/joyful beyond the odd lucky moments and most of the time I am just "below average" at best Lately I have had days that have been much worse than ever before. I have felt a "dark cloud" over everything. I call it a "dark cloud" because no matter what i do I get no joy and have no interest. One exception is physical exercise, that does help for a short period (during and after). I enjoy going to bed at night as I DO still enjoy sleeping and appear to still sleep okay, although i wake with the dark cloud. These dark days started a few weeks ago and i am concerned it is the beginning of depression. I know all the "home remedies", such as meditation, daily diary, health, joining social groups, taking up hobbies, discussing with a friend, etc. BUT some of these things are either not available to me or simply making no difference. I feel like i am ranting and to be honest don't even know why i am writing this or what i am looking for or asking... Either way, take care of yourselves everyone

bella_dee86 Lost
  • replies: 5

Hey all, So I'm new to this forum (well I'm new to talking about my mental health in general) a friend of mine suggested beyond blue, so i thought what else do i have to loose? i have struggled with major depression, anxiety (last 2 years bad social ... View more

Hey all, So I'm new to this forum (well I'm new to talking about my mental health in general) a friend of mine suggested beyond blue, so i thought what else do i have to loose? i have struggled with major depression, anxiety (last 2 years bad social anxiety), post traumatic stress, borderline personality disorder and some have said i have bi polar. I was diagnosed when i was 21 with bi polar, then when i had a major mental breakdown at the start of the month i was told i did not have it and was pulled off all my medication. If I'm honest, that in itself was a massive shock to the system, in a strange way those medications became somewhat a part of me... now i am taking absolutely nothing, i was told at the mental health clinic that i attended, since i was young fit healthy with a child and profession behind me that i was basically fine, and there was nothing that they could do for me. Well i was dishearten to say the least, and now I'm just lost and left with my demons. Yes,I have a profession, a child and yes i do exercise 6 days a week. However i am far from ok and i know this deep down inside because i have fought this path for the past 16 years, i have been hospitalised 3 times before due to not being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am so tired from this battle, its soul destroying! i have lost so many people form it, people that have tried there hardest to help but were physically drained from giving so much, i lost my job. A job that i loved very much and i haven't worked since i lost my job and that was 3 months ago, it has put much strain on my relationship with my partner (he lost his job in fifo to come and care for me) however i feel so empty towards him, i feel emptiness towards motherhood, just an emptiness towards everything, i can honestly say that i don't find any enjoyment, i only exercise because its the only soul time that i have to concentrate on myself (ect... breathing) i have a sense of anger towards everything and I'm just lost. I am unsure if these feelings come from past unresolved issues which are exacerbating current ones, i do see a therapist which i feel doesn't really help. So basically if you were able to read through all my ramble, i am simply just very lost. I need help to find myself again ...

Jugglin_Strugglin Common, long term consequences of depression
  • replies: 15

been feeding the black dog for 5 years now. I have read threads here describing withdrawing from friends, work, life in general. I have done all of these .....not opening mail, paying bills when they come to turn off power, or arrest me. I have just ... View more

been feeding the black dog for 5 years now. I have read threads here describing withdrawing from friends, work, life in general. I have done all of these .....not opening mail, paying bills when they come to turn off power, or arrest me. I have just been waiting for everything to implode, but surprisingly, it still hasn't. Now, I am so far behind in all my financial obligations, I don't know how to start getting back on track. I am 5 years behind in tax (personal &my business). Paperwork is not computerised, so I don't even know where the invoices, receipts etc are amongst the rubble. A misunderstanding with phone co has resulted in my landline being disconnected on 23/12...I have paid bills (yay direct debit) but I signed up for an NBN/phone package but did not connect it as it does not suit my needs in a remote area. Now sick of begging Indians to reconnect my landline at work, so no bookings. Fortuitous, as on Boxing Day, I awoke in excruciating pain. CT : slipped disc at C6. Dr. Google says no easy fix, I have read 100s of posts about this, it seems that regardless of treatment route, I will be in pain for the rest of my life. I have accepted this but without work, I can't afford to get specialist referrals etc, (I have paid private health for >16yrs...almost $50k!!! Doesn't cover that??) 1 good thing, This has been my first total 'holiday' from high stress/emotional job in 15yrs. As a small business owner, I am not able to get sick pay. Centrelink won't pay unless my tax is up to date IF I DID qualify for disability support. I support my 16 yo son (wants transport now he has his learners but no $$) I have never received a cent of child support, his father lives locally and is here daily for meals etc, which I felt was a good thing for my son, but I am angry that I have been supporting him also. I know things can't continue like this. But I am scared of making life decisions while in this black hole. I think baby steps are the only way to start to improve our situation (there is much, much more to our story, who wouldn't be depressed??) but it is almost impossible to take even baby steps. I am still putting things on the back burner as a coping strategy to forget problems. Of course they are still there (& worse) the next morning. I KNOW all this but I just can't take a baby step. Sorry for rambling. (Big sigh, feels bit better tho) Is there any free agencies to help sort out financial problems/paperwork? How have others gotten back on track?

Gruffudd How big is the cycle?
  • replies: 4

So I suspect we are all different here. Reflecting back I have a cycle of major depression becoming problematic every two to three years. I'm thinking about it because I can feel it again and it is about two years. I'm interested in other experience ... View more

So I suspect we are all different here. Reflecting back I have a cycle of major depression becoming problematic every two to three years. I'm thinking about it because I can feel it again and it is about two years. I'm interested in other experience on this cycle and what works to perhaps turn it around.

umeboshi Relapse or faking it? Not sure, pls help!
  • replies: 2

Hi y'all, new here. Bit of background - I'm 24 y/o queer and trans and struggling a bit w dysphoria (which comes and goes). So...I've been struggling w depression and anxiety since 14. Since then I've had a severe bout of depression every year withou... View more

Hi y'all, new here. Bit of background - I'm 24 y/o queer and trans and struggling a bit w dysphoria (which comes and goes). So...I've been struggling w depression and anxiety since 14. Since then I've had a severe bout of depression every year without fail. Since being hospitalised for a month when I was 21, I've been doing a lot better. The last year has been pretty calm - the most calm it's been for me since this all started. I hadn't SI'ed. I've always been a heavy drinker but it wasn't bad. I was doing relatively okay at uni. Had a steady job. This year, it all kinda unraveled. My workplace closed down so I lost a source of income. It's my lasts semester at uni and I've yet to go to class and I'm having difficulty with my assignments. I'm also discovering some heavy stuff about myself regarding gender identity. I've also been withdrawing, holing up in my room - it's not uncommon for me to spend a whole week inside. I just feel extremely anxious and uncomfortable in public. The last few weeks or so has seen me crying almost everyday and I SI'ed for the first time in a while yesterday. I'm also having trouble w sleeping and I'm having bad nausea and stomach issues. Essentially all the symptoms I have become familiar w over the past decade. Thing is, I feel like I'm faking it all. Which is weird to say...right? I feel like, I'm using depression as a way to justify my failures and shortcomings and laziness and that it's all one big act. And I feel even worse because I'm such a loser that I would try to deceive myself of having a mental illness when I'm actually perfectly fine. And then I'd question myself and my intentions and I'd get all confused and mixed up. But then I'd have absolutely horrible days when I know something's wrong, but it's not as serious as how I remembered my bouts of depression used to be, so it's just me making a big deal out of nothing, right? I hesitate to go see a therapist or whatever because even if I am actually relapsing, it's never done anything for me (over 7 years, I've jumped from one person to another to another and so on). I just feel really disgusted with myself. Just looking for some thoughts on the matter. I would like to know if I am just running away from my problems or if there is actually something wrong. I just feel very fake and I think that I've managed to psyche myself into a lie and that everything I'm feeling and thinking is just one big act for myself. Thanks in advance. -Umeboshi.