Depression

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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 0

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Elizabeth CP Dealing with unhelpful behaviours & thoughts
  • replies: 4

I tried writing this post yesterday but lost it when I pressed post this thread it disappeared. I saw my psychologist yesterday. After a discussion of several different issues I mentioned having felt down for no apparent reason. He said there is alwa... View more

I tried writing this post yesterday but lost it when I pressed post this thread it disappeared. I saw my psychologist yesterday. After a discussion of several different issues I mentioned having felt down for no apparent reason. He said there is always a trigger so then started a discussion to discover the trigger. The fairly calm normal consultation turned very emotional with me feeling embarrassed, stupid guilty & really upset. The psych was good trying to listen, encourage & support me as I tried to sort out my thoughts. The issue is that I try to fit in with others even when it is not in my interests & wait for my husband to offer to do things I want rather than even asking him. This leads to me feeling stupid because I'm setting myself up to be disappointed & get angry with my husband for not fitting in with my wishes even though I haven't told him what I want. I know I'm being stupid doing this but don't seem to have the motivation to change. I need to be clear about what I want & be willing to be assertive in asking for my wishes to be met. The only reason I can think for this issue is that I feel I don't deserve anything. I feel that noone really likes me so I don't want to put pressure on others to fit in with me. This is probably based on experiences as a child when I was bullied badly leaving me with long standing self esteem issues. Having had good parents just makes me feel like I have no excuse for managing better as I don't have the excuse of a dysfunctional family. Does anyone else have these issues & how do you cope

T3 How do i, someone with depression, accept support from my wife who cares
  • replies: 2

Yesterday was one of those days. No matter what my wife said to me or did it was going to trigger me. I had decided early in the morning i could not be reached. "Why is she with me? I am not goodenough for her! She deserves so much better! It went do... View more

Yesterday was one of those days. No matter what my wife said to me or did it was going to trigger me. I had decided early in the morning i could not be reached. "Why is she with me? I am not goodenough for her! She deserves so much better! It went downhill from there. I took something to heart. A personal attack! She hates me, she doesn't know what I am going through. She always attacks me. The thoughts run at a million miles an hour. I am in no state to discuss an issue calmly or pull myself out of my hole. She pushes me to talk. I know deep down if we discuss this calmly it will be resolved in 5 minutes. Instead i snap back. Biting with words I know will hurt, will get a reaction and then my thoughts becomereality. "See, she doesn't love you. You are weak, you are a coward, you wil never be good enough". I sit in the car to go and she follows. I switch to calm to gain the higher ground. Now if i am calm and she is not i am the one who is hard done by. I am the one who is trying to resolve this. It is not true. I say something bitey. That will make her feel bad surely. I leave and go to a place that will pull me up. I read, i find new books that will help me inthe long run. I send a text. I will be home soon, she replies, so will i. I go home and wait upstairs. Head in hand, the dark thoughts filtering around. Time to separate. Where will I live. The wedding was such a waste of money. Have i ever made her happy. I hid the black dog from her but it is now so big it takes hold I cant face her, i am such a weak and defeated useless being. I can never get a hold of this thing. How do i leave her? I know it will be easier for her there is no question. An hour passes and she comes upstairs. "This isn't helping either of us. We need to talk about this" "I can't face you i say. I am too weak " "Well then you need to find strength " "I can't, we're through, we're done, i just know it"! The next hour involves my tears, my defeat. I push her away and won't accept she wants to help. I keep telling myself she doesn't love me despite what she says. She doesn't care, how could she. "Mediate" she says " that always helps" "Nothing will help" " i am not leaving you until i see a meditation started" After backand forth i eventually listen. It relaxes me. I feel some calm. Why could i not have done this 3 hours ago? Why can't I accept the support on offer. Why can i not listen to the one who loves me and knows me better than i know myself?

anonymity do I need to get committed to get help?
  • replies: 3

I've been struggling with with anxiety dyslexia insomnia and depression my whole life (25 y.o) but have always prided myself on being able to get through anything thrown my way so I've never really been incorporated into the system, and I have been a... View more

I've been struggling with with anxiety dyslexia insomnia and depression my whole life (25 y.o) but have always prided myself on being able to get through anything thrown my way so I've never really been incorporated into the system, and I have been able to cope well until recently. After studying tertiary science for 6 years my recent job history is non-existent, I thought I was doing the right thing by just focusing on my studies but it seems I've dug myself into quite a hole by not having recent experience. Having moved 2 hours out of the city to the old family town I'm struggling. I decided to get some help from my new GP the medications have some srs side effects, still here after months. I have to decide between being able to sleep or being able to drive, hard decision when looking for work in a rural area. Being on welfare means I'm on a knifes edge when it comes to competing my search requirements constantly battling the side effects. I know this isn't sustainable so I'm going through the steps of getting help, but it's taking so long. I've driven 500km to no avail this week alone back and forth to the nearest town getting thrown around between my jobserch provider, centrelink and my GP. I've been waiting for 2 months for a CBT appointment and I feel it just wont provide the level of help I need and after all the driving I'm still no closer to getting help, all the while I'm still having to meet requirements. They say until I get recognised though official lines there's nothing they can do and have to meet all the requirements a healthy person would. The problem is it's taking so damn long and I'm concerned they won't recognise my issues and write me off as another dole bludger, as on paper they are all 'new' problems where in reality I've just never gotten help and always been able to manage well on my own. I don't wan't a disability pension or to take a break I just want someone sympathetic to my challenges who can help me through them, at the moment that's not happening and they're just making it worse and the time and miles I'm racking up trying to sort this out is making it worse and getting me nowhere. I don't want to go back to that place they have no idea how to help me they just make it worse, thinking about makes me want to throw up. Can't even count how many hours I've been on hold in government call centres trying to change my situation all the while shaking, struggling to keep food down battling a medicated haze and all for nothing.

ElyseH Being negative or being realistic!
  • replies: 3

What is it when you dont believe what people say? All my life ive been some would say negative person, but at times i think im being realistic. I think im not smart, that none wants me or my friends wouldnt care or miss me. But my friends tell me how... View more

What is it when you dont believe what people say? All my life ive been some would say negative person, but at times i think im being realistic. I think im not smart, that none wants me or my friends wouldnt care or miss me. But my friends tell me how awesome they think i am. They tell me i am smart and they miss me. Ive tried to listen but i have come to reality, theyre my friends they have to say those things. My brain just doesnt believe any of it. I cannot see the truth in it and im sick of trying to make out i believe it just because someone has said something sweet or kind about me. The reality is...i dont believe what they say is true and i wish theyd listen to me and agree with me. To be honest if i was smart, in wouldnt be thinking things like this.

greenkazbar Poem - Loving Chi
  • replies: 1

Loving Chi (c) I look in the mirror, what do I see? A very strange image staring back at me. Where is the kindness, I like to share? Shrouded in blackness, as I stand there. The mirror is hazy, blurry and stark, Why does my image look so dark? I try ... View more

Loving Chi (c) I look in the mirror, what do I see? A very strange image staring back at me. Where is the kindness, I like to share? Shrouded in blackness, as I stand there. The mirror is hazy, blurry and stark, Why does my image look so dark? I try again, I focus ahead, My eyes stare back, ever so dead. I rub my eyes and try once more, I see my dark side, ever so raw. My hand lifts up, in a straight line, What stares back, has a hateful sign. My image is rigid, stoic and black, It’s shamed, it’s ugly, but starts to crack. I stare once more, with kinder eyes, This time I look close, past all the lies. I glimpse the kind soul, lying within, I start to smile and lift up my chin. I leave with this image, held tight to me, And start my day, with a loving chi.

Scott76 Doing so well for a while....
  • replies: 6

I've been suffering what my psychiatrist calls a severe depressive episode for over a year. In that year I have lost my dad, mother in law, and best friend to cancer. I've been in a mental health ward in that time for three days and barely at work. F... View more

I've been suffering what my psychiatrist calls a severe depressive episode for over a year. In that year I have lost my dad, mother in law, and best friend to cancer. I've been in a mental health ward in that time for three days and barely at work. First saw the psychiatrist a month or so ago and after a few tries it seemed that we got my meds right - the medication really helped and improved my motivation. yesterday I accidentally took my night meds in the morning. I slept most of the day. At the end of the day got some bad news about my mums pension resulting from her selling her house. The feeling of dread and hopelessness returned. Had a horrible night's sleep, dreamt I was at my friends dad's funeral. Teary and overwhelmed.

Sharny Is that it, I mean is survival the only thing?...
  • replies: 15

Forgive me if I'm not grateful for my life in advance. I am grateful for all that I have but it's the ME bit I've never settled with. I go through the motions, go through the necessary things in life and feel settled that I can achieve them. I can lo... View more

Forgive me if I'm not grateful for my life in advance. I am grateful for all that I have but it's the ME bit I've never settled with. I go through the motions, go through the necessary things in life and feel settled that I can achieve them. I can look after a house, children and a husband. Over the years I've found new ways of coping with stress and my first thought each day is centered around finding the most effective ways to combat stress, or at least what my brain perceives as possible stress. I'm well aware that others might not find some things that I do as a stressor but I've learnt that I can't afford to focus on their ways because I'm not them. All I can do is focus on myself, the children and my husband. I've dabbled here and there increasing my duties outside of home etc and for the most part coped ok. The nagging thought I have though in life right now is, is that what my existence is? I mean, is it just survival or will I get further nourishment to top me up? It's like my brain is not getting the feel good endorphin mix, I take a sauna and swim but don't get long term nourishment, I ride my bike but only feel temporary pleasure, I make my jewellery but the creative side fills me only for a second. My brain seems to feel devoid, depleated of a long term satisfaction. I worry that despite me doing things with my children, asking them about their day and generally being there for them that they feel my dissatisfaction some how. My thick skinned sort of strength though keeps me forcing myself to accept things and keep moving forward or along. I use keeping out of hospital as a yard stick for my own success in dealing with mental illness but sometimes wonder if this is acceptable line of thinking. Again, its all survival based living. Again, I sound like I'm complaining, I should not. It's just a genuine question because I'm doing all the things I can to live a life of harmony but my ability to really feel things is lacking right now. Most people accomodate a broken leg, arm or the like. With mental illness, it's just not possible to get an undertstanding going. How do people out there with mental illness get your struggle across, get an understanding going without upsetting people of what you can cope with? I actually just feel really lonely right now. We have to exist with people, they are in our lives.

Missberri Feeling burnt out
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I just wanted to post because I'm not feeling too great at the moment. I'm juggling part time work and uni and I'm starting to get very drained. I spend every weekend all day at work and come home to study and do assignments and still don't g... View more

Hi all, I just wanted to post because I'm not feeling too great at the moment. I'm juggling part time work and uni and I'm starting to get very drained. I spend every weekend all day at work and come home to study and do assignments and still don't get enough done and I have shifts every day except for wednesday and thursday when I have full classes at uni and try to get my work done. I'm feeling really overwhelmed and I don't know what to do. I was in a similar situation last year but for some reason then I was coping well and this semester I just feel like my head is going to explode Literally at the end of last year most of my close friends moved away for different reasons and I feel not having any of them around is also taking a toll and I'm starting to feel very alone. I feel like I don't have the time though to try making new friends right now because I just want to focus and get uni done but every day I just feel myself getting more and more down and I'm starting to feel like I can't cope. I've been waiting for so long for my work to hire someone new so I don't have to work as much as I am but they just keep screwing around with it.. even though they get heaps of applications they take forever to just pick one person to interview them then most of the time it doesn't end up working out. I've really been wanting to quit this job because I'm tired of it and my boss is really selfish, but i can't just have no income and i can't even get centrelink because I've been studying for longer than I should have been. I've tried applying for other jobs when i get the time but i don't really hear back from them.. Anyway I just really would love on how people cope with this kind of thing because I feel like im reaching my limit and i just feel lost about what i should do.. I feel like i should just suck it up and just get through this semester but at the same time I feel so awful every day and I'm only just feeling more and more awful as time goes on.. but yeah if anyone has any advice that would greatly appreciated!

Debzmites Feeling so pathetic
  • replies: 9

So my research has said that people with BPD have seriously low self esteem, check. Apparently growing up we didn't get the validation and emotional support, check. Im struggling big time, I let a man know a few weeks ago I had feelings for him and h... View more

So my research has said that people with BPD have seriously low self esteem, check. Apparently growing up we didn't get the validation and emotional support, check. Im struggling big time, I let a man know a few weeks ago I had feelings for him and he had no idea and didn't feel the same way, I've been feeling completely pathetic since. Im sure we will discuss this Monday in therapy. I just wish I had someone on my side that I could talk to and work through it with. I finally understand now why I get angry at my Dad, I'd talk to him about what I'm stressing over and he says nothing, then I crack it and say I don't know why I bother talking to you. I definitely don't talk to my Mother, she throws everything back in my face. Sorry, just feeling so lost.