Sometimes l think what is this dream thing, happiness, should l just
give up? lf l haven't got it by now later 50s l really must be dreamin
right, ldk , but l wonder lately , a lot !l've had it,l've been so lucky
through large periods in huge ways an...
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Sometimes l think what is this dream thing, happiness, should l just
give up? lf l haven't got it by now later 50s l really must be dreamin
right, ldk , but l wonder lately , a lot !l've had it,l've been so lucky
through large periods in huge ways and highs in life, but for some crazy
reason things get lost or we stuff it up or they just pass and it seems
the next faze comes along,like some yo yo.l take any time comes along
through things, days and routines l like now, to enjoy whatever it is,
been making a big point of that last few yrs. So many things l took for
granted before or it was all about the end dream instead of the living
in between, worst thing you can do is fall for that trap.lt really does
help a lot too, big or small, mostly small atm but then life's made up
of so many little things too isn't it you realize that we should've made
sure we enjoyed long ago. lt's not all about the big stuff but the
journey too, well, so l see now.And it does make a huge difference,
sometimes l even chuckle to myself at just how beautiful and enjoyable
the small things in life are now that l do. Buttttt, sadness
unfortunately,depression from sadness, from the things giving you
sadness, is usually all about the far far bigger things too
unfortunately. Loneliness, or not where you wanted to be, or things
lost.l'll have to move next yr and that's really messing with me too.
l'd have been here 8yrs by then, longest l've stopped anywhere since l
left home, even while married, we moved a lot.l don't know where l wanna
go, l'll start browsing next yr, but l don't wanna buy another house
straight away either, probably won't be able to at that time anyway so
just as well l don't want to then right. Relationships looking lost,
another thing l don't thing l took enough care of or to enjoy,my only
true relationship since married 10yrs back. Brothers moved back to Melb
12mths ago, my main sort of mate too plus brother since l moved here.
Haven't made one friend in 8yrs- another reason l have to move, enoughs
enough. Although l have really enjoyed living here and this time though,
the house itself type thing, views, the morngs,at least that's
something. But everything just feels stupid and lost and aimless and do
you even bother to care anymore seems like this is what you end up with
anyway.ldk. rx
How do I talk to my doctor?
