I'm not living and life seems to hard. I haven't worked for 6 years,
after having a back injury, I was a nurse of 20 years. I suffer from
daily depression and anxiety. I don't have any friends and spend every
day mostly by myself. No one invites me o...
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I'm not living and life seems to hard. I haven't worked for 6 years,
after having a back injury, I was a nurse of 20 years. I suffer from
daily depression and anxiety. I don't have any friends and spend every
day mostly by myself. No one invites me out or gives me support. No one
comes around to see how i'm going. It's been so long I don't even know
how to make lasting friendships and keep them. I am in a 19 year
relationship with my partner who has an ongoing illness. We sleep in
separate rooms. It's been a sexless relationship for about 5 years now.
I don't even get any effection or closeness at all. I get incredibly
sexually frustrated and lonely at night, to the point where it is
unbearable. I have become heavily addicted to porn and masturbation
every day/night. To the point where it has become a disorder/disability.
Every day I have used it for 5 years without a day off. I tried to stop
for one day and the cravings/images in my head got so bad. That I
thought I could loose control of myself if I went out in public, it
really scared me. At the end of last year I lost all my life savings to
an online scam. I had to apply for centerlink, but the money I get would
not even pay for the cheapest rent accommodation price. All my money
goes to bills, I can't afford a social life, I was seeing a psychologist
and he thought I should see a psychiatrists. But now I can't afford
ether. I'm trying to get disability support pension. But centerlink said
I could be waiting upto 6-12 months. I feel lonely, isolated, depressed,
sad, stuck, rejected, I crave affection so badly. I hate the way my life
is and think of suicide at least twice a week. I tried to explain my
feelings and thoughts to my partner but she does not understand my
needs, nor can she help me. I even gave her some opinions but she will
not exept any of them. I don't want to sell or loose our house I worked
hard for and I can't afford to live anywhere else. It really seems to me
that i'm all out of opinions. I am so miserable, I feel dead and all I
see is darkness. I am in my early 50's. I need some serious help. I'm on
a lot of medications, some that make me drowsy. I have trouble sleeping
at night. I'm just existing from day to day, while my life goes by. I
don't see things changing. To many issues to work through, it's so
overwhelming.