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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 0

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Tiga Husbands depression affecting whole family - blames me (wife)
  • replies: 7

My husband has had depression for a long time, recognised by me (his wife) and his friends, though hasn't really acknowledged it himself. I believe it stemmed from bullying at work, which made him oversensitive to any criticism. It was exacerbated by... View more

My husband has had depression for a long time, recognised by me (his wife) and his friends, though hasn't really acknowledged it himself. I believe it stemmed from bullying at work, which made him oversensitive to any criticism. It was exacerbated by problems with PE, which again he didn't acknowledge for many, many years and I was to naive to understand in our early relationship. He's an intelligent man and comes across to others as easy going and funny (very English sense of humour) but at home he can be quite the opposite. In the past he often would sulk in the bedroom for long hours - he does this less but replaces this with long hours behind screens or going for long cycles. Either way, I am always left minding the kids and doing the bulk of household chores. We have two kids, who have certainly helped me when I experienced periods of depression (partly as a result of my husband) and though he loves them very much, he can be hypercautious and overly authoritative. I worry for the kids as they enter their teenage years and become increasingly rebellious. Although not stated explicitly I know he blames me for his depression. He wants more intimacy but I don't feel close to him at all because he is often angry, sulking, distracted behind screens and I am genuinely tired and really don't fancy him. Issues around PE haven't helped, though at least after 20 years it has finally been identified there is physiological (and not just psychological) issue behind this. In summary, I am genuinely tired and think about when the kids have finished school that I will find my own place. It's not that I don't care, but have experienced depression more than once in my life. I got better by acknowledging my depression - it also helped that I really enjoy being a mum and less so a wife at the moment. I only wish my husband could enjoy just being a father....any advice would be appreciated.

VicD i am not in a good place right now.
  • replies: 3

i am not in a good place right now. another day another migraine, it feels like my brain in trying to grow out of my skull, my eyes hurt, my neck hurts, and my head hurts. was diagnosed with colpocephaly after an MRI, not much is known about it and d... View more

i am not in a good place right now. another day another migraine, it feels like my brain in trying to grow out of my skull, my eyes hurt, my neck hurts, and my head hurts. was diagnosed with colpocephaly after an MRI, not much is known about it and doctors don't know how to treat anything associated with it. added to all of this, i am in love with someone, someone i cannot have. met her 9 months ago, is everything i could hope for, except one thing, she is married. I myself was in a loveless relationship, 10 years long, she would love bomb me, give me everything i wanted for a short time and then months upon months of nothing, and when i finally complained, the cycle would happen again, just to keep me in line. i was the one working, always the one working, jobs of bad conditions, bad pay, long hours and infinite stress. i was forever broke. i was forever exhausted. i was forever lonely. 5 days before my birthday in December, id had enough, id finally snapped, so now she is gone. she left me with debt, at least $25,000 worth. it is now late Feb, she agreed to help pay them off, but to date have received $0.00. now, i live at minimum, 100km from any friends or family,this girl i love, 300km. i must drive 60km each way to and from work, every day. i work at a computer & office supplies store (includes catering supplies), i am the only employee, my bosses are a close to retirement age couple. i do everything here, except payment of accounts. I fix computers, install and repair eftpos machines (on site), do all the purchase orders for buying stock then send them to suppliers, stock inwards, warehouse management, i drive the forklift and unload trucks, unpack all the pallets of stuff and put everything away, i do front of house retail sales, customer service, resolving complaints, phone orders, meetings with customers on site, customer relations which includes having meeting with schools to discuss supply options, i do deliveries in a 100km radius. take phones to repair the repair technician, do house calls, install security systems and anything else that may pop up. He was as cop for 40 years, more dodgy than a drug dealer, she was a students aide (got fired) she has a complete micromanaging issue, and he doesn't care. up until a month ago, i was allowed to use the work van to travel to and from work, this required that i do deliveries and jobs outside of work hours (9-5), and the van was my payment. i would leave for work at 7:50am every day, i would not get home till 6-7pm most days, sometimes later, all deliveries required a signed paper invoice, there was hell to pay if i did not bring one back to work. even doing these deliveries and things outside of work hours, i was considered late if i arrive after 8:50am i get less than $23ph. a month ago, the van died, they didn't want to replace it. if i relied on public transport, it was a vline train each way, id get there at 11:45am and need to leave by 2pm to get home... not viable. i managed to scrape together $2000 and i started looking for a car, told my friends and family to keep an eye out for me, my father ended up giving me a further $4000, then 2 weeks ago i bought a 2011 ford. came with roadworthy, i got it registered, and was able to return to work. my stress levels at this point were through the roof. my bosses have the cheek to offer me $50 cash per month to pay for my fuel and car costs, and expect me to keep doing deliveries using my own car, even before and after work (for example, if i need to take a phone to the tech, it is 45km out of my way to drop it off at night, then pick it up in the morning) today, i woke up, had 5 hours sleep, got dressed, jumped in the car, got just out of town and then started getting transmission issues which ended in the car going into limp mode after 30 seconds. i call work tell them i wont be in, then drive home in first gear. i am broke, more than broke, i have NOTHING left, on top of that, i have bills that are trying to come out of my account, so far this week the bank has declined $300 of direct debits. i have been using gift cards i got for christmas and birthdays over the past few years to get groceries, do you have any idea what it does to someones self worth having to pay for groceries with 8 different gift cards, in one shop, some of them with like $5 left on them right now i am fighting the urge to self harm and I'm having some really troubling thoughts.

NotSoSmileyL Lonely
  • replies: 2

I was diagnosed of depression not surely after I had a particularly bad argument with one of my parents. My dad had taken away my devices when I was listening to music, something that is extremely important to me. I also had lots of stress that seeme... View more

I was diagnosed of depression not surely after I had a particularly bad argument with one of my parents. My dad had taken away my devices when I was listening to music, something that is extremely important to me. I also had lots of stress that seemed to build up from absolutely nowhere, I had absolutely nothing to do. After this argument, I sat in my room and cried. I seriously considered killing myself. I didn't talk to my father for three days and spent most of this time in my room (this was during the school holidays.) A few nights later, I told my dad about how I'd considered ending my life and we got an appointment with one of his friends, who was a doctor, the next day. He diagnosed me with depression and gave me a script for antidepressants. My mum told me not to take the antidepressants (she's a pharmacist), so I didn't. We had a check in appointment the next week and I went with my dad again and he removed the antidepressants from my medical record because I hadn't used it. He then gave my parents a referral to a phycologist and that was that. Since that nothing has really changed from before I had talked with about my depression. It's been over a month and we haven't even booked an appointment with the phycologist. When I try to tell my parent's how I feel useless and explain my moods, they just say they don't understand. I don't talk to my friends about this, we're not that sort of friends. I don't tell my brother, because he's too young to understand and deal with me. I've given up talking to my parents about it because they just make me fell like I'm making a big deal of nothing, like there are people with real problems out there. I cry a lot, at home, and no-one notices which hurts a lot. I have no-one and that's the thing that hurts the most.

startingnew Struggling with my mental health and the impacts of a severe injury
  • replies: 3

Almost a year ago i acquired a severe injury that has resulted in chronic severe pain that affects my daily living. I have spent countless hours on tests to confirm a rare diagnosis, treatments and specialist appointments and drs. my savings have all... View more

Almost a year ago i acquired a severe injury that has resulted in chronic severe pain that affects my daily living. I have spent countless hours on tests to confirm a rare diagnosis, treatments and specialist appointments and drs. my savings have all been drained and all my spare money gets put towards more treatments or appointments. My entire life has been flipped upside down. ive needed to give up some jobs and give up some of the best opportunities ive ever been given and things ive worked towards for years. basically a few 'this is what ive been waiting for, this is what ive trained for' moments and it has been soul destroying. every aspect of my life has changed, ive lost friends, family dont understand or even want to try to understand- the often just think of themselves because it affects my ability to do things for them now. even walking is a struggle. sleep usually evades me because im in pain or cant get comfortable, cant hardly fit in shoes and my clothing style has had to be changed a fair bit because of the swelling i encounter. it was a very unfortunate accident and really only an accident but the way that its panned out, is very upsetting and frustrating. its a very lonely place to be in right now with no friends, no family support or cares and specialists that dont really know what to do. it gets hard hearing ' im sorry but im not sure what else to do with your condition at this point'. i feel very much out of sorts and at a loss of what else to do.

white knight Depression- how to give and get support from a partner
  • replies: 4

We can get support from many organisations and professional medical staff but support from home can be crucial to our ongoing improvement of our condition. Such support from a love done can come in many ways but in this post I'd like to focus on basi... View more

We can get support from many organisations and professional medical staff but support from home can be crucial to our ongoing improvement of our condition. Such support from a love done can come in many ways but in this post I'd like to focus on basic support, the bare minimum. The reason for this is we are well aware of the high number of spouses that have no idea how to offer support to an invisible illness. Their low level of knowledge often falls into a "blaming" attitude rather than learning of the symptoms of the illness that often is the source of the sufferers behaviour. Take irritability. My lovely wife used to blame my irritability on an intention of mine to discount talking to her or my snapping at her. It is indeed a side effect or even direct effect of my bipolar. However, part of the goal of mutual happiness in this situation is accountability and co-support. Just because I can point to irritability as a symptom of my illness doesnt make life easy for her so a gentle "I'm sorry for being snappy before" can work wonders. It doesnt hurt to be accountable regardless of no fault. The problem is worse when a carer has no idea how to give support which can result in zero attempt to offer support eg silence. In fact it infuriates me and adds to irritability. Some of us dont need much support to keep our struggle train rolling. A "I'm here for a drink and chat if you need me" or a pat on the back or "when you feel better we'll reflect on it and see if we can make it easier for you". The "give and take" with couples that have mental illness as a disability, is far more important than couples that dont. However, we shouldnt pigeon hole ourselves so easily. All other couples have issues of some sort that we might not have eg financial stress, personality quirks, excess family conflict, addictions, hidden medical problems, inherited diseases and so on. The grass might not be greener and this attitude can save us from feeling over sorry for ourselves. It's all a part of accepting our situation for what it is, just on the boundaries of "normal". So for those that like support or dont know how to offer it, try to learn the simply ways to add it to your daily acts of empathy. Short, genuine and real efforts will always download to benefit others. There's no negative in giving and you should always be appreciated for trying. TonyWK

Living57 Depression anxiety and panic from missing time
  • replies: 6

I'm so confused. My depression and anxiety has peaked badly today. I woke up as usual about 4.00 am, and did the normal things I do. At 8.15 the young girl next door asked if I could run her to work as she'd slept in. I was more than happy to as I ne... View more

I'm so confused. My depression and anxiety has peaked badly today. I woke up as usual about 4.00 am, and did the normal things I do. At 8.15 the young girl next door asked if I could run her to work as she'd slept in. I was more than happy to as I needed the supermarket. On the way I asked if she was also working on the weekend, she said yes today and tomorrow, so I said great you've got Sunday off. She looked at me and said no that's tomorrow. I didn't believe her until I checked my phone and saw that today is actually Saturday. Now I'm worried and scared because I don't remember Friday. The last I remember was going to my doctor on Thursday, coming home and doing some wrapping of Christmas presents before going to bed. I cannot remember anything about Friday. Should I be worried, who should I talk to about this. I have had instances in the past where I feel as if I'm on auto pilot and watching myself do things, but I remember that and it only lasts minutes to an hour. This time I dont remember anything about the day. I feel sick and nauseous at the thought that I might be losing my mind, the panic inside me is far worse than I have felt in the past. I really don't know what to do. I know that the last week or so has been quite stressful for me, but I was sure I was coping alright. I dont know what to do and the more I try and think about Friday the more upset and stressed I get.

Cereal Had enough
  • replies: 1

I looked up what to do when you think everybody hates you this morning. The thing is the answers were from people who just thought it. I moved to a very very small rural town to get cheap housing as a single mum working from home. Always thought I wo... View more

I looked up what to do when you think everybody hates you this morning. The thing is the answers were from people who just thought it. I moved to a very very small rural town to get cheap housing as a single mum working from home. Always thought I would love the country, have my own place, grow veges etc. also that the communities were so caring and supportive so got straight into doing community work and have copped it all now. 'You are just too much'. yelled at, ignored, not one invite in 4 years here. So I started drinking alone. I hate cooking dinner, I am exhausted from always taking on too much and I am getting old. Really I am a bit of a mess seem to make enemies everywhere I go. I love to talk to people but are soooo lonely and isolated here I cant snap out of my depression now. So what I am saying is I think its true they do hate me. This is probably because I get drunk. often. I think I am being non-confrontational but have always had a way of offending people by being straight. I don't even know who I am anymore.

nib Depressed.
  • replies: 16

I am not sure what to do at this point? My mother drinks and gambles excessively, and I am beyond surprised that she hasn't touched the thousands of dollars that is on her credit card yet. I always pay the bills for her using her money that she works... View more

I am not sure what to do at this point? My mother drinks and gambles excessively, and I am beyond surprised that she hasn't touched the thousands of dollars that is on her credit card yet. I always pay the bills for her using her money that she works for, so that we can live under a roof with gas and electricity, for example, and I make sure that this is done on time. I have tried speaking with my mother about the effects that her drinking and gambling have on myself in particular, but she either totally dismisses it, or she causes an argument over it. Now, I am not perfect, I drink alcohol (I haven't been for nearly a year as I am on a community treatment order and also because the medications I take can cause me to experience a sore stomach when I drink certain alcoholic beverages), and I most certainly enjoy playing the pokies myself. But, I never put in a fifty-dollar note after a fifty-dollar note after and fifty-dollar note in order to try and win the Major Jackpot, which mum has won a few times now. Our arguments over her addictions often become very heated, and it sometimes get to the point where we both assault each other. My father remains neutral whenever my mother and I argue, although he does agree that my mother has an addictions to drinking and gambling. I have tried to remove myself from the situation whenever we argue by simply going into my bedroom or by driving home from our local pub. But this never works, as my mother either follows me into my bedroom whilst screaming at me, or she would ring me and send me text messages repeatedly, demanding for me to answer her. I just can't win. I have also phoned a gambling hotline and the lady who spoke with me was very helpful. She suggested that I find somewhere else to live, but my family are very selfish and will not allow me to live with them, and neither will my best friend and her family. Literally nobody cares about me. They just want to see me miserable. I love my mother very much, but she refuses to seek psychological assistance in order to aide her with her addiction to drinking and gambling, and with mending our mother-daughter relationship. I no longer have a relationship with my aunt and grandmother, and I really want one with my mother.

Alannah57 Bipolar and “dissociating” from my life
  • replies: 1

Does anyone else find their mixed episodes start with feelings of dissociation? E.g with me it’s like the things that made me feel comfortable and engaged and comfortably me don’t do it anymore, and I’m no longer connected to what’s happening around ... View more

Does anyone else find their mixed episodes start with feelings of dissociation? E.g with me it’s like the things that made me feel comfortable and engaged and comfortably me don’t do it anymore, and I’m no longer connected to what’s happening around me.

Leigh1987 Is fear of abandonment a necessary part of bpd?
  • replies: 4

Hi all, I went to the gp again last night looking for some relief from the constant crushing depression and she suggested my issue may not be depression but rather bpd. From what I have read a fear of abandonment is at the heart of the bpd experience... View more

Hi all, I went to the gp again last night looking for some relief from the constant crushing depression and she suggested my issue may not be depression but rather bpd. From what I have read a fear of abandonment is at the heart of the bpd experience and that doesn't fit me. My closest friend of several years said to me a few months ago that she could no longer deal with my mental illness and never wanted to speak to me again. I said ok no problem and immediately felt a wave of relief that I didn't have to hear about her life anymore. So what do you think? Is it still possible to meet bpd criteria without that fear?