Caring for myself and others

Supporting people’s mental health is important, but so is your wellbeing. Learn strategies for caring about yourself and those around you.

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Staying well

Support each other to stay well, from mindfulness, sleep, diet and exercise to reducing drug and alcohol use and coping with difficult emotions.

Sasuke Daily dose of gratitude
  • replies: 1

Hi BBers, I have been staying quite low profile on the forum despite joining a few years ago and this is my first ever post. I feel that my mental health has improved by leaps and bounds since. I personally found that thinking of 1 thing I have been ... View more

Hi BBers, I have been staying quite low profile on the forum despite joining a few years ago and this is my first ever post. I feel that my mental health has improved by leaps and bounds since. I personally found that thinking of 1 thing I have been grateful of each day has really changed my mindset and outlook so am hoping to continue this thread. One thing I am grateful of today is that my dog came up to me for cuddles before I left for work.

Blondee71 Support
  • replies: 5

How can you convince people that the things you mention to help you heal are serious requests? They’re all down for “what can I do to help?”, but when you mention small things they either mock or ignore? How am I supposed to get well@?…

How can you convince people that the things you mention to help you heal are serious requests? They’re all down for “what can I do to help?”, but when you mention small things they either mock or ignore? How am I supposed to get well@?…

Kirb86 I really want to change
  • replies: 1

I've been wanting to make a change for a long time, but I can never stick to it. I want to talk to others that suffer depression and have turned to alcohol for comfort or realease, but managed to dig themselves out again and been able to quit drinkin... View more

I've been wanting to make a change for a long time, but I can never stick to it. I want to talk to others that suffer depression and have turned to alcohol for comfort or realease, but managed to dig themselves out again and been able to quit drinking or just enjoy a drink in moderation. All of my friends drink, my partner drinks, my parents drink but I really feel it is taking over and making me less of the person I really want to be. I don't know how to do this, I'm scared. I don't want to lose the connections I have but I want to be healthier and I don't want alcohol to be something I depend on to get through. I just want to know how did you do it?

Treatments, health professionals and therapies

Information on a range of different areas, including managing relationships with GPs and psychologists, and finding the right services for you.

max89 GHB withdrawal. i am a litttle worrried
  • replies: 2

for the past 3 solid weeks ive been dosing GHB all day long its been helping me get through a depressive state but its gotten to the point where im using it from the moment i wake up till i go to sleep at night, and even then im sleeping less then 3 ... View more

for the past 3 solid weeks ive been dosing GHB all day long its been helping me get through a depressive state but its gotten to the point where im using it from the moment i wake up till i go to sleep at night, and even then im sleeping less then 3 to 4 hours im using atleast 30ml a day ive been reading about withdrawals and its got me quite worried... ive kicked meth habbits before, cannabis but after reading about the come down its got me quite woirried anyone got any advise? i was thinking of microdosing for a day or two, 1ml in the morning, 1ml at night just to get my body ready for the withdrawals any advise?? thanks

javalava13 Struggling to know how to speak to my psych
  • replies: 2

Hi, I've been going through a pretty low stage for the past few months and have gotten used to this very low bar of mood. I've also just been very in my own head (more than normal) so have a few things I wanted to come to this forum to share and I wo... View more

Hi, I've been going through a pretty low stage for the past few months and have gotten used to this very low bar of mood. I've also just been very in my own head (more than normal) so have a few things I wanted to come to this forum to share and I would love any advice. I've been having some suicidal thoughts which I was speaking to my psychologist about. I've been feeling slightly better after about 3 weeks of these intense thoughts (I think?) but I'm just so confused where I'm at. I have a real issue with judging myself for feeling depressed or having suicidal thoughts, often thinking I am just trying to get attention when I open up about this. I have been having less of the really concerning/harmful thoughts but I am still incredibly low and never don't just want to disappear. I don't really know what the problem is or what I'm asking for advice on but I am just having trouble explaining where I am at to my psych because while I am still feeling incredibly low and hopeless, I am not feeling at risk so think I'm judging myself for complaining at all. I also don't know if I am actually doing enough to get out of this spot because sometimes I feel like I just want to sit in the low emotions and am not trying hard enough to feel better, but I feel too guilty/ashamed to admit that. Another thing I was hoping for advice on was talking about was how to speak about a fear of sex or intimacy with my psych. I have raised it once or twice so she knows about it briefly, but it is something I really, really want and feel I need to fix, or work through, as I feel so insecure in every part of my life because of it. I don't know how to raise it, or ask her to focus more of my sessions on it, because I feel so uncomfortable talking about it. Just for context, I am 26 and have literally done nothing remotely intimate with anyone because I am so uncomfortable. I know this is a lot and I am jumping around, but honestly any advice would be incredibly appreciated.

madfickle I am desperate.
  • replies: 8

I'm 26F and have been struggling with mental illness my entire life. I have had multiple diagnoses and I don't know what's right and wrong, but I'll just list them all: 5 years old: ADHD, ODD, conduct disorder 6 years old: Autism 8 years old: Depress... View more

I'm 26F and have been struggling with mental illness my entire life. I have had multiple diagnoses and I don't know what's right and wrong, but I'll just list them all: 5 years old: ADHD, ODD, conduct disorder 6 years old: Autism 8 years old: Depression, Anxiety, OCD 19 years old: Borderline personality disorder (this one is 100% BS), DPDR, pseudopsychosis (idk what this one is and it has never been addressed as far as I'm aware, but it's still on my records) 20 years old: PTSD I have not been successfully treated for any one of these. I was close to 100% compliant and optimistic with new treatments until about 2 years ago, but I have now completely and utterly lost all hope. As a child I had a paediatrician, psychiatrist, psychologist and occupational therapist, and since I turned 18 I have nearly consistently had a psychologist and psychiatrist. I have also consistently been given scripts for medication since childhood which keep me up for days and give me the worst brain fog. There were a few other meds as well, but due to severe side effects I was on them for less than a month. I am well aware that I was over-medicated in childhood. Some of the doses I was on exceeded the recommended max for children and teens. I have also done CBT countless times, DBT twice, ACT, interpersonal therapy, ketamine therapy, ECT, TMS, acupuncture, hypnotherapy, mindfulness therapy, and EMDR. The last couple of years I have been refusing things I have already tried - which is basically everything from what I'm being told. But I am being met with accusations of cynicism and not wanting to help myself. I don't think I have ever learned anything from therapy - nothing that particularly resonates or is useful anyway. Nobody listens to me, nobody believes me. From my experience, psychologists latch onto one thing you say that their textbooks teach them how to manage and zero in on that. It's nearly impossible to get them to see the big picture, and it's impossible for them to not jump to conclusions about how I think or feel. I have never felt heard by a psychologist/counsellor/social worker/psychiatrist/etc. in my entire life. I know I'm supposed to help myself and therapists provide tools, but I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I don't know what I'm feeling, but I am constantly in absolutely excruciating agony from whatever this is. I am inherently a bad person too. I am selfish, I hurt people and don't feel guilty about it, I have an extreme amount of rage and need for retribution when I feel there has been an injustice against me, I am a pathological liar just to make myself look better/superior, etc. I am just about ready to give up because I see no hope. I don't see any opportunity to be better. If this is how I'm going to continue feeling, I can't live. I simply can't.

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

nixxyboo I don’t know what to think anymore (relationship)
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Long story short my partner and I have been together 3 years but have been friends for about 6. I genuinely love with with all I have but lately he’s been distant. We spent most of our relationship long distance but together now. But in the 4 months ... View more

Long story short my partner and I have been together 3 years but have been friends for about 6. I genuinely love with with all I have but lately he’s been distant. We spent most of our relationship long distance but together now. But in the 4 months he’s been here he hasn’t really hugs or kissed me in any way and it’s usually me to him. He’s back visiting family and I have hardly heard from him since he’s been back (it’s the second time in 4 months he’s been back). I found out from my sisters today that he’s made a few comments in the past that they weren’t to please with. But now I just don’t know how to feel or think

flossie62 Husband of 50 years emotionally abuses me
  • replies: 5

There was an episode over the weekend where we had visitors and I was planning on cooking a pork roast for dinner. I won't go into full details right now, but I had put the roast in for 40 minutes for the crackling, following the written instructions... View more

There was an episode over the weekend where we had visitors and I was planning on cooking a pork roast for dinner. I won't go into full details right now, but I had put the roast in for 40 minutes for the crackling, following the written instructions on the packet. After a while my husband saw smoke filling the room and carried on in a childish manner blaming and disrespecting me for stuffing up the oven and drinking too much and not knowing what I was doing. It was very embarrassing and I couldn't hold back my tears, not wanting to get into a full blown fight in front of visitors. These sorts of issues have happened over the years, but I think this was the worst. We have had a talk and I have said that I will not stay if this happens again. He has apologised but I really don't know what to do.

Walto17 How do i apologize to a friend that i hurt
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Hey everyone just need some advice.Long story short, i was friends with this person for about 4 years, we used to play xbox everynight until we had a falling out, bascially it was me and him who played all the time and then another person came into o... View more

Hey everyone just need some advice.Long story short, i was friends with this person for about 4 years, we used to play xbox everynight until we had a falling out, bascially it was me and him who played all the time and then another person came into our circle and caused a lot of drama because my friend and the other person butted heads. My friend did some childish things but i regret how things went down. Anyways, we haven't spoken for over 2 years and he blocked me on all of our social medias and it bugs me that things ended the way they did because i do miss our conversations, so i was thinking of trying to get in touch with him and saying sorry. I'm just curious as to how i should go about it. If i did message him, i wouldn't expect a response or anything but just to let him know that deep down i am sorry and would rather him know that i regret what happened instead of us never speaking and him maybe thinking i don't care about him because i still do. Any advice would be appreciated.

Supporting family and friends

Share tips on supporting a partner, family member or friend with a mental health condition, and seeking support for your own wellbeing.

Puggs How to approach my 19 year old son about his possible depression
  • replies: 5

Hi My 19-year-old son has all the signs of depression. My GP agrees with me. But I have no idea how to approach him about it. My wife says to find a doctor, make an appointment, and force him to go. But I want to take a gentler approach and find some... View more

Hi My 19-year-old son has all the signs of depression. My GP agrees with me. But I have no idea how to approach him about it. My wife says to find a doctor, make an appointment, and force him to go. But I want to take a gentler approach and find some way to talk to him about it and make it look like we are ganging up on him. How would you go about talking to him about it? Puggs

Guest_9820 I need help for my wife with medication
  • replies: 3

Hello, my wife and I immigrated to Australia a year ago from Uruguay. She suffers from depression, but at times, we were able to manage it with a psychologist and medication. Later, she stopped taking the medication and turned to yoga and meditation,... View more

Hello, my wife and I immigrated to Australia a year ago from Uruguay. She suffers from depression, but at times, we were able to manage it with a psychologist and medication. Later, she stopped taking the medication and turned to yoga and meditation, and it was working, as she never had luck with psychologists; they never understood or supported her. The issue is that moving to this country has been challenging, mainly due to the language barrier. Even though she speaks, understanding is difficult, especially under social pressure. This makes it incredibly tough for her. Moreover, for now, the only jobs she can find are in cleaning and hospitality, which brings her down a lot. We've been married for 6 years, and I always want to help her, but I'm not the best support since many times I don't have the right words to say, and sometimes I even make it worse with misunderstood words. These days, she reached a point where everything overwhelmed her, and she wants to take medication or something alternative to reduce her discomfort, even if only for a while. We have medical insurance,, but I don't know how things work in the country, so I'm reaching out to you to get opinions. I want to do everything possible to make her feel better and seek this information to help her. Thank you very much for reading everything.

Gato46 Wife Feft
  • replies: 2

Wife LeftResided in China for 20 years, married a Chinese women some 10 years ago ,(wife is 35 and myself 77 now) returned to Australia 4 years ago and with child and wife, she is very unhappy, myself not perfect some lies were told in our marriage b... View more

Wife LeftResided in China for 20 years, married a Chinese women some 10 years ago ,(wife is 35 and myself 77 now) returned to Australia 4 years ago and with child and wife, she is very unhappy, myself not perfect some lies were told in our marriage but I am to blame on all most everything, she suffers depression blame me for it, suggesting I should see a therapist instead of her . Sone after our daughter was born the she become aggressive and insulting and swearing at me angry at not listening at her advice about company matters, on many occasions she wouldn’t t stop yelling and swearing had to send her home with my driver, trashed the apartment a few times and I let it go thinking it has something to do with post-natal depressions, suggest then she should see a doctor but in China this is a no-no. Then and now, attempting to have some kind of conversation is futile, she constantly interrupts and get very angry. Just before she left our home, told me she was dating on line to find out if she is still desirable and find love , that was very hurtful. My daughter tells me , “mama wants you to die to find another man younger to look after her”. Left home some 3 weeks ago and said she needs time to evaluate our relationship and she wants to come back in two months. For the las 4 year no sex and the level of personal insults toward child and me and swearing is staggering. She said sorry for being a monster but her excuse ‘I am angry’. Twice had to call the police got crazy and attempted to commit suicide and taken to hospital , she convinced the doctors nothing wrong with her, they let he go back home. Despite everything , still ,call me stupid, I have felling’s for the women just very worried to let her back home without her seeking mental help , I have a child and she doesn’t want mom to come back home. The child become withdrawn, lost appetite and stroppy now , she tells me mama hurts her and I am scared of her. As an aside, my wife is a very intelligent lady, I employed her in China as my translators, and she had a BS in Exterior Commence, she told her self very fluent in English and turns that she was very efficient in to running my aerospace business, year later she become partner in to the business. My wife had an affinity to the western world and at my retiring we moved to Australia. Once she become an Australian citizen she enrolls at the universities to study law , first year passing all examination with very high percentage and she got herself a part time job as a clerical in a local law firm. She has a golden heart and shares with the family. Don’t understand how is possible someone with depression act normal and for some reason becomes a monster. Some time in my mind I think, was I used to a ticked to the west..? Our age gap is huge, then again culturally Chinese women don’t mind age and looks as long the man looks after them. Can folks with depression mask the change of personality..? what can I do to help, let her go to find her own way or keep soldering on..? Respectfullygato

Long-term support over the journey

A space for regular members to keep in touch and revisit ongoing discussions with more than 100 posts.

GeminiLion Mental health service axed and now isolated
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Isolated all my life. Ask for help and doors slam shut in my face. Finally by off-chance an accidential pyschologist entered my life for another matter, and as they say, rest is history. After 3-4 years (initially weekly to monthly meetings) she left... View more

Isolated all my life. Ask for help and doors slam shut in my face. Finally by off-chance an accidential pyschologist entered my life for another matter, and as they say, rest is history. After 3-4 years (initially weekly to monthly meetings) she left the public system and I was suppose to continue with a new pyschologist. However, a decision was made to axe the service (which was reinstated later with replacement but only for new clients under strict new criteria). I have been alone since September. I have no one. No longer getting medical help. Call and online chats not working. Forced to pay for private telehealth and I cannot afford it and it is going over old ground work and going no where (considering ending private sessions and just stand on my own two feet). I live in regional qld. I have no one. I am carer but no help available either. Every time I have asked for help in recent months has blown up in my face which makes me worse unwell. Where can introverts like me, aged in 40s, have no family and no friends (completely isolated) get help. Is there any grants or funding opportunities I can access to continue accessing help. Thankyou.

Unigurl18 Starting university terror
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Hi, I’m new to this, and I’ve never done something like this before, but I need to talk about this. I am starting university in 6 days and the terror of it is just getting bigger. I talked to my mum about it and I felt a little better about how scare... View more

Hi, I’m new to this, and I’ve never done something like this before, but I need to talk about this. I am starting university in 6 days and the terror of it is just getting bigger. I talked to my mum about it and I felt a little better about how scared I am about starting uni but I woke up today and felt the same. I just have a continual sense of impending doom about starting uni and I might be being silly, but no matter what I do I’m still really frightened. I must admit that I’ve been struggling with feelings of emptiness for a while which has gotten a bit better a little while ago but it got worse again the closer I get to starting university. I don’t know if anyone feels the same or understands what I’m feeling, or maybe I’m just overreacting, but I just wanted to put it out there. thanks

xsmummy Burn out at work
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After a long few months of battling to get through each day that escalated to me breaking down when my boss asked me a simple question, I decided to ask for help. Within a few minutes I was told I was in burn out and given a few strategies to try to ... View more

After a long few months of battling to get through each day that escalated to me breaking down when my boss asked me a simple question, I decided to ask for help. Within a few minutes I was told I was in burn out and given a few strategies to try to help. I'm beyond exhausted and just don't have the energy to even think about these strategies let alone put them in place. I would love any advice, help anything right now that might help. Was anyone put on any medication to help them through burn out? Any help would be amazing!!!