Is anyone up for a chat?

Doolhof · ‎27-07-2015

Hi Everyone,

Sometimes it is great to have a place where you can just have a chat about something not related to your mental health. So here is the opportunity to have a general chat about anything and to maybe find a "friend" to help make the day feel brighter.

Occasionally I connect with people on the forums and a lovely friendship develops, but it may seem to others that they are not welcome to join in the conversation. This is not the case.

So here is an opportunity for new friendships to happen.

Maybe you would like to share your favourite holiday destination, or place you would love to visit. If you could have any animal as a pet what would it be? What is your favourite flavoured ice cream?

For me right now I would love to be somewhere warm! We have been experiencing some rather cold weather where even the chooks water is freezing over during the night! Somewhere with a beach and warm sea to swim in would be lovely!

My favourite ice cream flavour would be Jaffa in one of those crunchy cones! I would love to be eating one down at that tropical beach paradise followed by a lovely fresh coconut and maybe a beach massage as well.

I will be dreaming about this as I drive around today for work listening to Meatloaf. Maybe I should be listening to The Beach Boys instead, but I don't think I have any of their music on CD.

Hope you all have a great day,

Cheers from Mrs. Dools

Doolhof · ‎17-10-2015

Dear Pipsy, hello dear precious lady, you are beautiful, inside and out!

Thanks for sharing your story with us. We all need to feel like we are needed, attractive, cared for and loved by someone. I hope you are able to let go of the hurt and just accept the happiness you felt when you read how much someone admired you.

Many years ago I had penfriends from around the world. I received a letter funnily enough from the USA as well, it was from a gay guy who thought I was a bloke. (My name is a man's name in the USA) He made suggestions of all kinds of things we could do together in his very first letter! Ha. Ha. Hence I did not reply to him.

I myself have been open to the kind words of another man wanting a bit on the side (it didn't happen). He filled me with flattery, kind words and made my motor sing. I was hurt, angry and upset, but then tried to take the positives out of it and looked at myself as a beautiful person who didn't need anyone else to make me feel good about myself.

That is not to say that I don't appreciate praise and nice comments when they come my way! Ha. Ha.

It is wonderful that you were able to comprehend what was happening and you were wise enough to be aware of what was happening.

Yes you were scammed, but oh how wonderfully it was done. Take the compliments and try to forget the rest.

Here's sending you some sisterly cyber hugs. From Lauren

Doolhof · ‎17-10-2015

Hi Philip and Mary, and Everyone else reading,

I have enjoyed reading your messages about faith. Philip, you mentioned you would not mention other parts of the teachings you are aware of due to knowing people believe in God. I feel that Australia is made up of so many different nationalities, faiths and customs, that you are able to share your experiences.

You are certainly not indicating that one religion is far more superior or correct in their beliefs compared to another. Many religions and faiths around the world are intrinsically based on love and caring for others. It is us humans who distort and change things to suit our own desires.

I do have a faith in the Christian God. I do not believe that one Christian religion has ownership of this God, He is a God of the universe, no one can own Him. Once again Christians and non Christians alike can distort the truths that are in the Bible.

For me, my faith gives me the principles I try to live by. I too agree that being spiritually aware helps us with our depression and mental illnesses. I find great comfort in believing that God is always with me, that He is watching over me, that He loves and cares for me constantly.

Jesus tells us that we are welcome to lay all of our burdens on Him. Many times I have had tears running down my face doing just that. The sense of peace that I feel within me during this process is amazing.

I'm not saying that Christianity is the only answer for everyone, but it is for me. My husband believes in Aliens and I have a sister that believes in Witches.

If something brings us a sense of peace, reassurance and it does not hurt anyone else, then let's take those things on board.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

pipsy · ‎17-10-2015

Hi Lauren. Thanks for the 'hugs', it's good to know I'm not alone. I was more annoyed with myself for allowing myself to believe this was true. How thoughtless and cruel some people are. They prey on the weak, uneducated person to take everything from them. If this person contacts me again (doubtful), I will ignore. I just hope others reading my story will learn how these scams operate. People are being 'fleeced' every day to part with their hard earned money. How do we stop this sort of thing? I know the police are powerless because they use fake i.d's, they pose as solo parents, homeless charity cases anything to get money.

Again - thanks for posting my story. I've had a great life lately, My other half has no idea about this, he'd be furious if he knew. Probably tell me off. I didn't need a lecture, just a hug that you sent me.

Doolhof · ‎17-10-2015

Hi Pipsy,

I agree with you, these people that try to scam others out of their money and even their homes and self worth are real low lifes.

Some of them are obviously extremely convincing!

My parents were caught out with someone scamming them by phoning and saying they had something wrong with the computer. Mum and Dad lost hundreds of dollars.

Recently here in S.A. people are sending out letters stating that you owe a lot of money to the tax department and if you don't pay immediately you will receive a hefty fine. Even some business men have been caught in this one as apparently as the paperwork all looks so convincing!

I remember one time years ago, I had just moved into a rented house when one night there was a knock at the door. I wouldn't open it until I had called out and asked who was there. The answer was "The Police". I said yer, right, who is it? It actually was the police. They were looking for the previous lady who used to live in the house I was in. Thankfully the Police knew whom they were looking for and it wasn't me.

Regarding this scam Pixie, at least now you know how easily it happens, so if something else comes up you will be more aware! It can happen to anyone. Thanks for sharing this with us all!

Cheers again, from Lauren

BKYTH · ‎19-10-2015

I didn't want to talk about God because I was aware that you had a belief in one. Equally I am being cautious in mentioning God so as not to offend anyone else who might get involved in the discussion. For myself, I have no interest in whether God exists or not and I feel that the Buddha took such an attitude himself. The Buddha is called agnostic but I feel that he misunderstood in labeling him that. What he taught is not a religion or a faith also it called both of these and that is to be expected. He taught that there is no soul/self and that insight/knowledge can be achieved, and in gaining this, it is possible overcome suffering. Insight meditation is focused on gaining knowledge and not on developing faith and my own focus is on establishing the first. Having said that I am not being critical of religion nor of people of faith. I don't and the Buddha certainly didn't say that he had the 'only way' or the 'truth', and only the briefest glance at human history will reveal the carnage caused by those who do. I very much admire your realization that no religion has ownership of God. This persistent attitude of most religions, and the insistence that their God is the true God, has been the cause of an appalling amount of human misery and death over the millennia. Were I a theist I would wish to proclaim, as Carl Jung did when speaking on the existence of God "I don't need to believe. I know". As a species we are still in our infancy in discussing spiritual issues. While 'interfaith' discussions seem to offer some way forward there still remain serious problems. Your description of laying all your burdens on 'him' is very moving and you should nourish 'his' willingness' to gather you in 'his' arms with love as I'm sure you do. That sense of "peace" is to be in the presence of God. It is a glimpse of immortality. What I do is different - How many times do you hear people say they 'suffer' from this or that? I have this or that but I choose not to 'suffer' from it. Philip.

Doolhof · ‎20-10-2015

Hi Philip,

Thanks for your consideration to myself and others about being a little guarded with your expressions regarding faith and beliefs. I find your comments to be very informative. Other people may also gain insight from all that you share.

I believe that people can have a healthy discussion about God, gods in general, faith, religion and the belief also that there are no gods or powers higher than one self.

You are so right in saying there have been and still are many conflicts and wars all around the world from the beginning of time due to people's faith and belief.

I for one am totally horrified by what is coming out in the news at present regarding the amount of abuse and despicable acts done to innocent children through religious organisations and some of the people working there.

Yes, I do have a belief in God and I feel that without it I struggle to be the person whom I desire to be. I do not have a faith that believes everything that some Christians proclaim to be the truth. Once again I openly admit that horrific perpetrations have been inflicted on innocent people by the name of Christianity.

This forum is a very tolerant place to have a discussion. Our "chat" is certainly open to anyone who has an opinion one way or another.

Some of us are able to find a sense of inner peace through all kinds of means, for me it is by thinking of the love and care I feel when I connect with God.

It is certainly not for me to judge anyone else for their beliefs, or for their desire to not have any at all. In stating that I have a belief in God, I also know that I am human like everyone else and I make mistakes, I am not perfect by an means. I certainly don't claim to have any superiority above any one else because of my faith.

There is no way I can prove to someone else that God exits. It is a heart thing!

I'm enjoying this discussion and this thread! If anyone else reading this would like to add their opinion, you are most welcome to do so.

Cheers for now, wishing you all a peaceful day! From Mrs. Dools

I congratulate and applaud people who are able to have a comfortable sense of self.

pipsy · ‎20-10-2015

Hi Lauren. Pip here. You're not going to believe this or maybe you are. I had another post from that U.S.A guy I told you about previously, the other day. No more mention of money, that's still to come I think. I'm getting p*** off with other half at the moment. Everytime I try to have a conversation with him, he listens for a few minutes, then either jokes or makes a 'humming' sound. He's not asleep, claims he's listening, but not really 'hearing' me. I feel totally alone when he does this. I've tried telling him how I feel, but he just says 'I'm listening'. I don't necessarily want an answer, just to know he's interested. I know he has OCD, I think there is also a short attention span. I sometimes think, he thinks, he should say something, doesn't know what to say, so jokes instead. I don't do that myself, I couldn't. I've suffered 'Black Dog' for years, but know how to deal with that now. BB has given me some pointers which work. Just don't know how to deal with this situation. Any thoughts?

BKYTH · ‎22-10-2015

Yes. I agree. Discussion is always preferable to debate. There are two things I always seek to avoid in discussions on spiritual issues. The first is to challenge the other persons position while the second is having to defend my own. It would be extremely arrogant of me to assume that I have a superior position on this issue than the other person has and therefore a right to challenge their point of view. Spiritual awareness is very much an individual thing and it would seem obvious to me that, as such, it will find expression in many different ways. I must admit, although I have never had a belief in God, there have been many difficult periods throughout my life when I wish that I had, or was able to have such a belief. Over the years I've tried to understand why I am unable to believe in the existence of God. I've considered my own experience of sexual and psychological abuse at the hands of the clergy and nuns (an area that has yet to be explored) as nuns equally have much to hide but don't think that those experiences have anything to do with it. Of course in considering that issue I wonder what it is that others experience and understand that experience as being an expression of a supreme being and therefore have a belief in God. In accepting the different spiritual view points of others (however different they might be to your own) I think in itself is a spiritual act. Such acceptance draws people together at a most fundamental and human level and allows the divine or the transpersonal (that which is apart from one's own personal experience) to find voice. How much more is possible in that kind of environment than one in which there is a clash of differences with the inevitable conflict which ensures when those present proclaim that their 'truth', their 'God' is the only 'truth' and their 'God' the only God. I ran out of words in my last post. What I would have said is that I don't think the statement "I suffer from depression" or whatever is helpful. You might as well say "I suffer from being alive". TBC.

kanga_brumby · ‎23-10-2015

That type of person is known as a cat fish ( A bottom feeder) I have had several of them did not fall for there lies I stick to people in my own area even then I still have been ripped off

Doolhof · ‎23-10-2015

Dear Pipsy,

Hi. It sounds like the grass may be looking greener on the other side of the fence! This is certainly not a judgement of any kind as I have been there and thought about doing that more than once!

I can tell my husband there is an elephant in the bath and he will say, "that's good dear". I talk to him and he does not answer. When I tell him that I would like some kind of acknowledgement he tells me that he has answered, but he hasn't uttered a word.

Some days I find it so frustrating and infuriating. I feel like he is treating me like I am not even there, that he is being rude and disrespectful, which I believe he is. If a person speaks to someone, they expect some kind of acknowledgement.

Occasionally he will even answer me by talking to the cat! I have decided that is his problem, that he has an issue with communication and it is not me. It is extremely infuriating at times mind you. Sometimes I ask him if he has heard me and sometimes I just walk away and try not to be hurt by his lack of acknowledgement.

Regarding this person from the USA. Right now the offer to engage with someone who is willing to fill you with flattery is very enticing no doubt! Who doesn't want to feel like they are acknowledged and praised by someone.

Is it possible for you to form just a friendship with this person? It may be best for you to ignore them altogether, but who can ignore a delicious morsel of something extremely attractive? Ha. Ha.

If you do connect with this person again, just be extremely careful as to what you divulge to them. Don't tell them anything they may be able to use to cause you any harm.

Just think, this person may not be a guy at all, it may be a lady who is trying to con you out of your millions! People can use another person's identity and photos to portray themselves as whom ever they like to the world.

I personally would love someone to tell me how special I am ever day of my life and to build up my spirits. That would be a huge boost to my ego and sense of self worth instead of a husband who doesn't bother to answer me when I talk to him...or who jumps down my throat the moment I arrive home from a hard day at work when all he has been doing is sit on his butt all day in front of the computer or t.v. as he has done for the last two years. That is a whole different story. Ha. Ha.

Cheers for now from Lauren