Worrying about life after lockdown in Melbourne

[littlehopefulgirl]

So it has been almost 2 months since I left 10 km from my house. Dan Andrews, yet again announces another news that will let us know what we can't and can do. I've learnt so much about myself in this lockdown about my mental health and also the quality of life I want to continue to have. But the problem is, lately, since the announcement, I suddenly have this worrying voice in my head. What happens to my life before lockdown? I don't know if I have a job anymore, I don't know if I can make a positive change. I definitely don't want to live in Melbourne and i don't like my living situation at the moment. But I'm surviving. Some days I feel so stagnant and just living for the sake of being alive, other times it's ok. The lockdown has been really hard for me, I feel so convinced that this is my life, and nothing will change. I gave up so much of what i want before the lockdown and rationalize that it isn't my fault. But now i feel like I've lost hope. Does anyone feel like this?

I am trying to hard to stay positive and motivated, but I feel so exhausted. My world of doing what I love is outside these 4 walls and certainly out of my 10 km. I can't work cause of the lockdown. i cant move forward with the career change that I want to pursue. I just feel so helpless. I'm tired. Am i going crazy? I certainly cant find articles or news that no one is feeling like this.

[Sophia16]

Hi Littlehopefulgirl,

I am truly sorry about what you are going through. Please just remember that this is all just temporary and everything will go back to normal soon.

You are definitely not going crazy, I am sure there are many people who are feeling the exact same as you.

Please chat with your loved ones and find a new hobby that you'll enjoy to distract yourself.

I am sure after this lockdown, everything will be amazing and that you will have your life sorted as you wish.

Please stay safe and I am here to chat if you need me.

[Monty-Finn]

Hi!

I don't think you're going crazy at all. Life with uncertainty is difficult. We like to be productive and have some kind of 'measure'. We like to see progress. In lockdown, we don't know how long it will be for, we don't know when the next one will happen and it makes it difficult to plan.

A few years ago, I looked after my mum during her cancer journey. For three years, I lived this kind of life. Unable to work. Unable to plan. As everything revolved around health decisions for mum. I felt every single thing that you are feeling now. Would I be able to go back to work? Would I want to? I felt like I was treading water while everyone else was living, and going on holidays, and getting promotions, and going out.

So, stagnating. treading water. Acknowledge these things for what they are - crappy, but they are temporary. on the days you feel good, and the moments that you are enjoying, - really take note of the good, the fun and the joy! be present and savour the chocolate (insert treat of your choice if chocolate is not your bag!). Your brain deserves the good chemicals as much as anyone else's.

I've taken to watercolour painting this year. I am incredibly bad at it - like, I cannot create a picture that I try to... but somehow - adding colour onto a white surface and sometimes accidentally creating a flower, or a tree... it's such a wonderful feeling! it surprises me, how it is - to create without purpose - the way that kids just draw, without judgement or intent. that has helped me quite a bit.

I wish you all the best and want you to know that you are not alone in your feelings during this pandemic. I had those feelings in 2015-2018 (pre-Covid). I did colouring-in books back then, with mum. it was good for both of us actually.

[Mk2692]

Hi littlehopefulgirl,

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time. I know the pandemic has caused many changes and it is hard to see what the future holds. I can understand what you are going through. I studied and completed another degree because I wanted a career change, however due to the lockdowns and the instability of the current job market I haven't been able to pursue my career change. I was personally devastated and I felt like I wasted my time and effort attaining another degree. I felt hopeless and realised that I couldn't achieve my dreams. I realised the plans that I had for myself weren't working out for me now, due to circumstances that are out of my control. I then let go of my old dreams and realised that I can have new plans and dreams. I think it is easier said than done, but start somewhere and go from there. If you are not sure if you can change careers now, maybe it isn't the right time for a new career. If you are not sure if there is a job for you after the lockdown, try to look for another job now. That is what I did for myself, I stayed in the same field but found a new job, which is not where I thought i would be, but I'm glad I took this step. Hope this helps.