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Social anxiety - tips for communicating better with others?

Community Member
Hiya, I suffer from social anxiety and I would like to hear some of your coping skills or tips for connecting more easily with people? I recently got a job in bar solely for the purpose of improving my people's skills but I find it increasingly difficult to even look another person in the eye... I would appreciate any kind of advice, thank you! 
3 Replies 3

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Mintgiggles, welcome to the forums.

Social anxiety is a common theme here, feel free to check out the threads below and reach out to other members there:

Social anxiety - by Katie 101

I can't handle the social anxiety anymore - by Kelliew

Social anxiety - by Jukee

Social anxiety and work experience

Community Member

Hello there mint giggles


Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for coming here and providing your post.


Hey, congrats on scoring the job – is that working in a bar, as in, you know, pulling beers and serving customers?   That’s one helluva an achievement to succeed at getting especially from someone who suffers from social anxiety!   Nothing like taking the bull between the horns and being forward to confront your demons.


I wonder if you might casually mention it to another of the bar staff, what tips/tricks they might have with how to connect with customers, etc?    And working in a bar, you’ll meet so many different types – some just want their drink and they’ll toddle off, where others may hang around and wish to have a chat – those chattier type of people usually have their own agenda for items to talk about.   But if you’re working, you have the perfect excuse to move away, cause you’ll no doubt have other customers to serve as they come along.


I also think with the looking in the eye thing, that can really be a fleeting thing for the time being – I mean, you don’t want to be staring someone down, but also, with being behind the bar, you’ve got to be busy, always on the go, so taking time to make the eye contact, may not be so important as what, hmmm, maybe I think it is.  Just me thinking out loud.


How have you thought you’ve gone recently in the job?


Ps:   you could always watch a number of episodes of Cheers to give you some excellent tips.



Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Mintgiggles,

Welcome! I too have suffered from what you are going through and I hope you check out everything you can including the links Chris has kindly provided.

For me a recovery on this issue was threefold. Firstly, because I had avoided social situations for so long I lost the ability, lacked the skills to interact. In other words, I needed a plan, essentially a way to instigate an interaction. 'FORM' is one such prompt, things to start a conservation..Family, Occupation, Recreation, Money.

The second part was self awareness, I became more aware of who I really am, which of my responses is coming from the heart, which is coming from the conditioned mind. I choose not to draw on people's energy through unhealthy conditioning of my mind, I choose to give pepople energy and love from the heart, i am interested in serving them, not my self. I keep focus on who I am talking to, I listen and respond appropriately. It has taken me practice and time but now I can look people in the eye again. No one is above or below you, you can talk to anybody if your 'ego' is not affected.

The third part was; 'action cures fear.' Just do it. Practice. With practice I have learnt that I can trust people that I meet, I don't need to be anxious if I care about the people that I meet and interact with. Love all people; you can't have love and fear in your heart at the same time.

Love to you, talk any time, i could talk about this for hours!