Hi BastMade
While relief comes to you in the way of feeling so much energy, my heart goes out to you when it comes to the overwhelming anxiety you're facing. It sounds absolutely horrible and incredibly stressful.
I suppose you could say all meds have side effects, one way or another. While a med's side effects may be positive ones, such as turning the volume down on certain emotions or creating the kind of chemistry that doesn't allow us to feel what's naturally depressing or anxiety inducing, the down side of coming off medication is...the volume goes back up. It's kinda like 'Yay, I can feel again...oh, no, what's this? Damn, I can feel again full volume'. If emotion is energy in motion (e-motion), volume or amount of emotion can be physically felt. Incredible hyper activity (in the way of energy) definitely has an overwhelming breathtaking feel to it.
While I'm far from mastering my nervous system, there are some absolute masters out there. They've found
- ways to breathe out such hyperactivity
- ways to manage certain triggering people and situations almost thoughtlessly (so they don't have to feel the thoughts that would normally stress their nervous system and vascular system)
- ways to manage understanding and taming their energy and nervous system through yoga (which is a practice that offers a unique perspective on energy, mastery and how the body's systems work)
- ways to work it out at the gym, to the point where such a work out leaves them feeling more relaxed by the end of it
- ways to better understand individual feelings that all feel like a collective feeling of anxiety. Each individual feeling we experience is telling. It'll tell us something significant. When a whole stack of new feelings come up or old ones suddenly resurface, we'll definitely feel them. I think this is where talking it out and making sense of it (all that emotion) can be a good thing. We can't keep that stuff in and expect to not suffer through it
Could this be your call to step foot on the path of self mastery? Maybe a bit of Googling could offer something as you step foot on a whole new path. Perhaps something like 'How to naturally calm the nervous system' or 'The art and science of self soothing' could be a couple of interesting avenues worth exploring. Btw, I've found that researching how to manage depression or anxiety offers the view that there is a fault that needs to be fixed. On the other hand, researching 'the ability to feel' offers a whole different view. It comes from the perspective of ability (not fault) and covers how to manage the challenges or down side of that ability.
