Major Anxiety in new role at work

[DPK]

I'm desperate for sme advice or reassurance...

I've worked for the same government organisation for 5 years... 4 months ago I was promoted to a higher up position on a 12 month Mat leave contract with a strong likelihood of permanency.

There was no training and I have had to rely on help from some co-workers I am close to... there is a lot of misinformation in this role and I have got my wires crossed on MANY occasions and made a lot of mistakes already... recently, one of the co-workers that was helping me (who I considered a friend) became frustrated and has been rude to me ever since. I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of tears when I don't know how to do something or approach a problem.

The one good thing is my manager is relatively easy going and has not addressed any work performance issues with me yet, but I am in a CONSTANT state of fear that clients/co-workers know I don't know what I'm talking about... I find myself lying awake at night... running through everything I have to do the next day. I have always struggled with anxiety but have only recently been diagnosed with anxiety/depression and I'm considering meditation.

my dilemma is this... as much as I DESPERATELY want to return to my old role, the soonest I could request to go back is end of Nov... i don't know if I can last that long 😞 And anyone who has ever come into this role on a temp basis has been made permanent, so if I do request to go back, it will be perceived as though I was incompetent or wasted everyone's time for a year...

what can I do??? 😞

[blondguy]

Hi DPK

Welcome to the forums and good on you for having the courage to post!

I have been a senior manager for a long time and can relate to your situation.

You have been in your current role for approx 4 months and doing it tough......probably because you havent been showed/trained as to have a grasp about your job specifications, which is fair enough

Its way too early in your current position to be concerned about performance evaluations.

You mentioned "The one good thing is my manager is relatively easy going "

Your manager is probably more caring and approachable than you know....have you thought about letting him know your concerns?

You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by doing so DPK. I really hope you can just ask him for a few minutes of his time and just talk to him. You may be surprised as he may feel complimented as a manager by you asking him for a little 'advice'

Being in a new role is demanding and tough. The way you feel now is more than normal with the fears of what the clients and co-workers think of you.

As a young executive I was always taught if I didnt know the answer to a question/query just to say....."I cant answer your question right now but I can get back to you asap"

I used that response for many years DPK and clients will respect you for it. (as long as you can get back to them)

If I can ask you, have you expressed your concerns to your manager yet? I am sure he will think you have excellent communication skills if you have or about to 🙂 Thats why he's there!

Ive spent over 30 years in corporate and you have the strength to get on here....I hope you can use the same strength to speak to your manager

you have everything to gain.....and nothing to lose by just asking him for his 'advice' or 'opinion' 🙂

if you are stuck or have any questions we are more than happy to be here for you DPK

My Best

Paul

[Jacko777]

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums DPK.

What blondguy says!

Don't consider meditation, just do it! Meditation has helped me so much to train my brain to focus, even 5 minutes a day is helpful. And don't worry if your mind is all over the shop when you meditate, that's WHY you do it. That's why it's called 'practicing' meditation, it's not necessarily something you ever perfect. Smiling Mind has some nice meditations.

Breathing exercises could be very useful for you to practice in the moments when you are felling anxious. I turn my attention to my breath, count 4 seconds in, 4 seconds out, keep focused on the breath going in and out your nostrils and your counting, repeat until you feel calm! The more I have done this the easier it becomes and it calms me every time.

Jack

[BballJ]

Hi DPK,

Paul (blondguy) gave some great advice above, as did Jacko777 regarding some techniques.

Just to echo Paul's (blondguy) comments, seeking out your manager seems like the very logical and great thing to do, especially if they seem easy going and managers will generally pull you aside if they don't believe you are doing your job correctly. Try and sit down with him/her in private and say how you feel. I have found with past managers, being honest and transparent with them is the best way to get the help you need. Perhaps advising you feel a little under-trained for the role and need a little more assistance as you really want to excel in the position. Tell them you know you can do the job but just require a little assistance, nothing wrong with asking for help. The problems arise when you try to guess your way through and mistakes happen a lot. I would also be taking the fact you haven't had any formal issues from your manager about your performance as a good thing.

May I ask what steps you have been advised regarding your anxiety/depression diagnosis, are you seeing a psychologist, if it is too personal to answer, you do not have too.

My best for you,

Jay

[DPK]

Thank you so much for your message Jay... My GP started me on a mental health care plan. I have had one visit with a psychologist so far and she believes I have anxiety/to a lesser extent depression. Her recommendation was to return to my GP and explore medication... I really don't want to do that even though I know it could help.

[DPK]

Thank you so much Paul... your post helped immensely to reassure me. every task I seem to do puts me on edge for fear that it's wrong because there's half a dozen different ways to do the same thing and I have no clear direction 😞 I will take on board your advice about speaking to my manager

thank you again.

[blondguy]

Hey DPK

no worries at all and thankyou for the kind post back 🙂

we are more than happy to be here for you

if you wish let us know how you go, we are here for you

the forums are rock solid secure and non judgemental

please be gentle to yourself

Paul

[BballJ]

Hi DPK,

That's interesting that the psychologist wants to refer you back to the GP for medication, did they still want to see you and go through some counselling sessions?

My best,

Jay

[DPK]

Hi Jay,

the Psychologist referred me back to the GP to go on medication in conjunction with counselling sessions... the GP has prescribed me medication but it felt like such a rushed consultation (same doctors pratice but unfortunately not the same GP as the original one has cut back her houes) and I am too terrified to take it after reading about side effects etc...

i just feel so absolutely hopeless and dread going into work everyday and being there 😞

[Blue_Jane]

Hi DPK

How are you today? I agree with the above ideas from our online supporters. Your manager sounds great, set up some time with him and share how you are feeling and ask for some feedback. There are obviously many reasons why you are acting in the higher up position and you are already four months in. Maybe focus on the positives of the role and worry about November later on.

When I feel overwhelmed by a new project or piece of work, I break it down into manageable chunks. That way the task at hand doesn't feel so big!

As a fellow anxiety sufferer I know the feeling of 'imposter syndrome' where you convince yourself that you don't belong in the role/relationship/whatever and you focus on the negatives. However this is what is going on in our over imaginative minds - I am sure your colleagues are worrying about their own issues and not thinking about you as much as you think.

Keen to hear how you are going.