Insomnia - is calling in sick ok?

[MyProfile]

Hi, it's 5.15am and I've been trying to sleep for 7 hours. Took some medication 4 hours ago with no effect. I often get bouts of insomnia from anxiety and sometimes sleeping aids have no effect 😞

My trigger for this episode is a new job. I get extremely anxious about work and have veen unemployed for a year. I got offered a casual job 10 - 15 hours a week, starting next week, but the boss asked me to come in tomorrow (now today) for a few hours to familiarise myself with their shop.

I am feeling like a failure already to be considering calling in sick on my first day (although not technically). I know it could add to my struggles of anxiety about the job even more, but I really can't force myself to go in, let alone drive there, with no sleep in 24+ hours.

Should I be honest? Do I admit that I had a bout of insomnia from anxiety about the job? I know for a fact that it will happen again. I feel so broken and like giving up in myself. I almost want them to say "we're going to replace you" - so I can temporarily avoid working some more - but at the same time I'm terrified of how badly I am feeling about myself lately and admitting defeat.

[Nuttymum]

Hi,

Don't give up on yourself. Job changes are quite anxiety provoking for everyone. Good on you for having a go. You should be proud for putting yourself out there. Perhaps you could negotiate a more manageable time with your new employer. You would be surprised - severe illness/disorders have touched all of us throughout our lifetimes. When you say that you know for a fact that it will happen again, that is the same for any mental/physical challenges we face today. If you've had a heart attack, you are more predisposed to have further medical difficulties. Doesn't mean another heart attach, just strategies and steps in place when you recognise the signs. If you feel comfortable, you could go back to your doctor and develop a more detailed plan that would benefit you in these situations. I hope everything goes well and wish you all the best.

[geoff]

hello MyProfile, this anxiety will not only happen with this new job, but also with any other job/s that you have been accepted for, you are certainly not a failure, but only being consumed by this anxiety, whether it's a social anxiety or an insomnia problem, but the reason you can't sleep is because you are worried.
There is never any reason why someone who is suffering from any type of depression can try and justify to a boss, that they are not capable of beginning, especially to a new one boss, OK some may accept what you have said, while there will be others who scratch their head and wonder why.
The main point is not to be forced or pressured into going to a job when you aren't ready, mental illness has more control, and you have to get well before you can take this extra step, otherwise, it will be of no benefit to you.
You have to look after yourself and not try and please some boss who doesn't understand. Geoff.

[Starwolf]

Hello MyProfile, welcome to the forums.

Kudos to you for giving work a go. I see going in for a try as an opportunity. It would either help ease you into this transition or realize that you are not ready to take on the challenge. You won't know how you really feel about it if you don't try.

Finding it too daunting doesn't mean failure. It would only mean you are not ready for it because anxiety has taken a toll on your inner resources. There are times when extra stress should be avoided because it is the last thing we need.

Only you can decide what is best for you at this time. A trial run could help you make up your mind.

[TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsN]

Hi,

I have been through episodes of this type of thing in an old job; some days I just felt like I couldn't face it, I'd make excuse after excuse as to why I needed to take leave. Some days even getting all the way to work (45 minute drive) only to turn around and go home. We are all different, so what I felt and worked for me, will be different than what works for you.

The tricky part is pushing yourself to just take that first step. It's so hard, I get it. If I managed to get myself into a reasonable state and on my way, once I got there and immersed myself as best I could into whatever was happening, I found that I could distract myself from my anxiety and was able to somewhat focus.

I had a job interview recently (which was successful in the end), where I was sweating bullets and really struggling, my back was so sweaty and I felt horrible (sorry for the gross mental image lol), and to make it worse, the interview was in a café.... great, just what I needed! Once I muttered a few words and got talking, we ordered a coffee and I was at ease. Obviously this relies on the person you are with to be an approachable person, but you never know your luck.

I sincerely wish you all the very best in your predicament, I hope things subside enough for you to function and sleep 🙂

All the best. - Nath

[MyProfile]

Thanks to you all for replying. I am pretty down today and it really meant a lot to see the thoughtful replies.

Unfortunately I got let go. I told the truth because I don't see why I shouldn't, especially if I expected it to be an issue that could recur. The boss was sympathetic, which rarely happens. Anyway, I felt immense relief. My husband told me not to push myself until I am ready, so that was a relief too, although I just told him I didn't get the job, not that I didn't go in, because I thought he was eager for me to get a job.

This is an ongoing, 17+ years, issue that I've struggled with. Not sure I'll ever be able to work normally, not until I find the right place I guess. It honestly gets me so down on myself that I've tried to kill myself once because of it and hospitalised myself another time. It's so difficult 😞

Nuttymum - thanks for putting it in perspective as a medical condition like that. It's true that it may happen again, but hopefully each time I'll learn to avoid it or cope with it better? I will keep working on it with my psych, among the million other things I'm working on.

Geoff - hello again. You're right, I have to get better before I can do this. I was pressuring myself (and maybe outside pressure too), and clearly I am not ready. I need to work on it and decide when I am ready, truly ready, because I wasn't ready yet.

Starwolf - thanks for saying I'm not a failure. Perhaps I am not? At least I was trying. So maybe I am just not ready yet. There has been a lot of stress in my life for the last few months, and I am drained. I don't know how I thought I could do this with such little rescources left.

Nath - thanks for sharing your story. I'd be happy to hear how your interview went, did you get the job? I really, really would like to talk to someone else who has similar anxieties about work. I also find that if I can push myself to get there, I can cope just enough, usually, to get through the day. Unfortunately it's the before and after that lets me down, the anxiety attack while prepping breakfast, the insomnia at night, the sense of impending doom on weekends. Strangely, I am fairly ok at socialising with work mates, it's more the performance anxiety and interacting with "authority figures" that provokes my fear more than the actual work or even the interview, (plus the immense drain from the constant high levels of stress).

Fingers crossed that I can sleep tonight with the job now gone. Thanks again everyone.

[Starwolf]

Thank you for the feedback, MyProfile.

Good on you for making the decision that suits you best. Sometimes, retreat is the bravest, wisest move. I also respect your honesty.

You are definitely not a failure, as a matter of fact, just the opposite. Mental issues are medical conditions, just like diabetes or heart problems for example. Struggling on with medical conditions takes more grit than average. Because it affects the mind, many people entertain the notion that mental illness is related to weakness or a flawed personality. Nothing could be further from the truth. The stable mind depends on good functioning of the brain and the brain is just another body part. When its mechanism is thrown out of whack, the faulty electro-chemical reactions that result cause faulty mind patterns. Just like poor kidney function for example will cause imbalances in blood chemistry which in turn will create further physical issues.

In my view, there is more heroism in day after day life with ANY medical condition than in single acts of spur-of-the moment bravery.

I understand that contributing to society builds up self-esteem and confidence. Have you thought of volunteering ? It usually involves people who are more compassionate and tolerant of differences than average. There is usually a lot less performance related pressure. There again, it is not for everybody but could it be something worth looking into ?

You sound a little better now that self-imposed pressure is gone...proof that your decision was the right one for you at this point in time.

Well done !

[Angel_1]

Hi , I know this an old post.. I was wondering how have you been .. I too struggle like you , I have a fear of not sleeping if I have something important on the next day ,like a new job . It makes me sad as I haven’t worked for years due to this problem