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Im feeling overwhelmed.Loneliness and guilt.Dont want to lose friends.

Beaser
Community Member
Hi and best wishes. I am starting to feel myself slide again . I have long been involved in my local football club and having been single for so long so it has been like my family and my support network. I have a partner now and she isnt that interested i dont know how to go about things as far as continuing my involvement. I dont want to lose her over it but i need my friends and my social network. I have had a huge battle with depression and anxiety for my most of my life. I have leant on people for support too much at times and im scared that i may not have that support anymore because they may be tired of it. I have sruggled with work for so long as a result. I just want to be happy again .I feel like im on this horrible treadmill and never get anywhere. I would appreciate any feedback and thoughts from anyone i hope i have described my situation ok as it is hard to do . Thanks for reading and best wishes . Brett.
76 Replies 76

Beaser
Community Member
Its been a tough week. After resigning from my job of 13 years. A lot of ups and downs about my decision. I do feel alone and scared at times. Also my relationship breakdown its a tough time. Im just hoping i can look back someday and feel happy about my decisions. Best wishes Brett

jtjt_4862
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Heya Brett,

Whatever happens from this decision, you did what most people fear to do. You took that step in doing something you feel is right for yourself, and that takes courage and guts. And whatever awaits you on the other side of the fence, know that you are more than capable in making thru and dealing with it. I hope you feel proud about yourself for making this new step into unchartered territory, and a step to making your life better for you.

JT

Beaser
Community Member

Thank you JT..

Ive always appreciated your positive feedback. It does give me comfort to know that people can actually see how it has taken a lot of strength and as you say guts to make my decision and follow through with it . I just had to do it. Im hoping that i will be able to come back here to this forum and tell everyone it was the best decision ive ever made . Ive re read some your replies of recent times and they are so positive for me. It means a lot Thank You. Brett/ Beaser.

Hi and best wishes to everyone.   I feel a bit like im treading water  ATM.  I was wondering did anyone else ever feel this way,. I  guess i just hope at times that ill get that good break in my current life that helps me . I seen my Dr and Phsycologist yesterday.   I find it so frustrating that there always seems to be confusion over bulling and the amount of visits you can get it just never seems straight forward.  I dont feel very strong at the moment with things.     Best wishes Brett.

Im feeling veryflat the last couple of days . I dont now if i have the energy to start a new job as im battling to stay on top of my anxiety and depression. I have spoken to my phsycologist and Dr and friends and they all say i need to take my time and accept my condition.   I have a friend to help for a little while this morning so that ill get me out .  I hope every one is well.  I must admit at times with these new forums i feel like im posting into a big black hole.   Best wishes  from Brett

Hi Brett, you're not posting into a big black hole. Sometimes people just don't know what to write, like me right now lol. 

 

But I wanted you to know that you're being heard. 

 

It seems your ex partner had some issues around you spending time at your footy club? 
That's interesting. 
I wonder why anyone would want their partner to give up a HEALTHY activity, that makes them feel good and keeps them in touch with their friends? 
And worse... having issues with you knowing people in your town? 

 

What is that? 

 

Seems like you stood your ground on those points. How else could you react? 

 

Re: employment. Have you thought about doing some part time work? 
I personally believe that being industrious in any way, can help move depression out of the way and allow us to face the anxieties we may be having. But I have ADHD too so maybe that's why, IDK. 

 

Having a routine of ANY type supports our MH. 

 

Ofcourse practicing self-care is extremely good for us. 

 

So happy you've stayed in touch with friends. 

EM

 

 

Hi EC.     
Thank you for your kind message and for taking the time to actually read what ive written in the past.   I  helped a friend get some wood yesterday and as you say being industrious in any way is helpful. Im going to try and chase some part time work next week im not sure where  yet but ill try. And your so right its important for us to maintain contact with friends and organisations especially when youve done it all your life.     
Thanks again. Happy to talk more         
Beaser

Hey Brett

 

I agree. Taking that kind of life long engagement away or "being forced" to give it up is destructive to us IMHO. 
It's a RED FLAG in my books. I call control "the big C"... it's the umbrella under which all types of abuse lay, quite hidden in relationships for a while, sometimes. 

 

Great that you got out and helped your friend get some wood yesterday. It feels good helping others. You got to exercise that bod too which is something we have to do to keep our natural serotonin levels up. Keeping tons of physical activity going on in our lives helps keep depression at bay. Helps us sleep better at night too! 

 

Great idea thinking about looking for part time work. 
Can you put the word out in your footy club that you're looking for part time work? If it's not appropriate, that's ok too. 
Is your footy club associated with a Club that serves food etc? 

 

No man is an island or woman for that matter either lol. We do so much better staying connected, as long as we're not constantly comparing ourselves to others. 

 

You're doing great! 

EM

Hi EC.     Nice to hear from you again.     Yeh your so right about keeping active it certainly helps the mind.    Im still looking for something work wise  . I just have to be careful as i had a part time role at a local hardware store lined up .   Unfortunately my nerves got the better of me and a i had to pull out.  I feel terrible about it. Ive worked all my life since i was 16 im now 56 so i guess ive worked hard.  Hope things are going well for you.    Brett.

Hi Brett, nice to hear from you again too, on your thread lol. (Like this is THE place we'll hear from you if nowhere else on the forums). 

 

So you're saying you're a Spring Chicken? lol. 
Yes indeed you've worked hard.
Is "Retirement" an option? 

 

Don't mind all the questions, just trying to get to know you so I can better support you if possible. 

 

I see the discrepancy between your comfortable social interactions within your footy circles and then the issues you feel around being in an "new" space to work - is this correct? 
I think this is an important distinction, we could talk about, to help you more. 

 

You also seem to physically fit too, helping your friend move loads of wood. 
I worked out that depression made me feel all too tired, but then so does hard physical work. 
SO I am better off working physically hard to feel tired and increasing my overall wellbeing / health rather than just feeling depressed and therefore tired anyway. 

 

Things are nuts all around me! To a point.
My kids are all safe & well, that's always a PLUS. 
My work is extremely demanding atm. Having a day off today to recoup. 
I'm older than you and have quite a few years left to pay off my "new / old" mortgage after years of Courts crap lol. 

 

I'm still standing & amazing the MH professionals who've supported me, so I'm VERY grateful for everything. EVEN grateful for having the capacity (most of the time) to deal with excessive stressors.... as I said "most of the time" lol! 

 

I'm enjoying the many projects I have ongoing in my home, which is exciting at times and all too hard at other times. Life's like that, UPS and downs. 

 

Keep smiling, talk soon
EM