I’m terrified I’ll never be happy at a job

[yourfav]

Hi,

I feel super stuck and uncertain and I’m worried it’s going to be like this forever. I’m currently a full time junior accountant studying accounting at uni part time and I’m so miserable. I wake up in the middle of the night so anxious I feel like I’ll throw up and when my alarm finally goes off there’s a 40% chance I’ll immediately start crying. And I’m so terrified I’m just doomed to be like this forever. 

every other aspect of my life right now is honestly amazing but I am so miserable because of my job, and I feel guilty because it’s not even really that bad and I just don’t know what to do… the work isn’t that hard, I have stable hours, I get a pay raise every year, my managers are nice and I have the same/similar schedules to the people I care about so I can see them more often. But I have no friends here and I just feel evil and sad all the time. 

I know deep in my heart this isn’t meant for me and I should quit but I’m terrified of losing the stability and worried that I’ll just feel like this no matter what. Especially with uni started back up I just feel swamped and I can’t do it anymore, I knew from day one that this isn’t right and now I’ve been here for over a year. I just don’t know what to do and I need some advice.

thanks ❤️

[Sophie_M]

Hi yourfav,  

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums. It was so brave of you to reach out here. We can understand how difficult it must be to feel this way, it sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment between University and work. Thank you for letting us know about this.   

Please know that you are not alone during this time and if you would like to reach out to speak to someone via chat https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support or via phone on 1300 22 4636 anytime.

Our community is full of lovely people, and some have dealt with similar experiences. We’re sure they’d love to hear a bit more about you and may drop by and share their thoughts here once they spot your post.  

Kind regards,   
Sophie M 

[friedchicken]

I think if you feel really miserable at your job then it won't be sustainable, and you deserve to be happy. Do you know if there is something you would be more interested working in? Perhaps you could keep that job while studying towards something that interests you more? 

[yourfav]

I’m not sure what else I’d like to do, unfortunately while I’m at this job I’m forced to continue my bachelor of accounting as well so I don’t think I’d have it in me to try and study something else at the same time 😞

[Wagtail84]

First of all amazing job at sticking this out and studying for a year! The work issue on top of that is so much to handle and you’ve already proven how strong you are just by getting up out of bed through the tears and the anxiety! If you can do THAT while experiencing so much heartache and pain!? Imagine what you can endure if you simply made the decision to step away from something that is quite literally jeopardising your mental health and well-being! 
listen you’ve gotta pay the bills and I get that. Would you consider asking them to go part time for a little while just bare minimum your finances for say,  3-6 months and use the extra day or two to either rest and recuperate OR volunteer or another little job or explore some online study alternatives?? 
a change is as good as a holiday they say, and you my friend deserve a break, 

don’t get trapped by the sunk cost fallacy - google it- you’ve got plenty of time to get back on track and it’s only been a year so far which in the greater scheme of things is totally manageable and you can move on! 

wag x 

[Markipoo]

Hi. I understand your predicament. I’m aged 56 and a long time ago, mid twenties, I was in a similar situation. I had graduated accounting and was working in an accounting job I hated. I thought it would be great experience but it never suited me. It was stressful, I never really was suited to it, but I felt trapped. It’s almost feels like you paint yourself into a corner - right?

Only thing to do is to change careers. It’s painful but worth it in the end. You will never be happy doing the accounting by the sounds of it. Short term pain, for long term gain. At that age I never really knew what I wanted to be.

I ended up becoming a police officer for 7 years and now am a property valuer and small business owner. Deep down I knew my future was something to do with “business” but in retrospect definitely not accounting.

Perhaps switching course to another area of business - say Human Resources or another strand? Accounting is a “dry” subject and definitely not for everyone / most people. Perhaps your future is with another path? To be fair, most people (and me) didn’t and don’t know what to do in life. I’d recommending switching/doing something completely different, deferring the course or finishing it under another strand if you can.

Best of wishes.