I'm in despair. GAD

[mizzy83]

Hi all,

this isn't my first post here. Sorry if people are getting sick of replying to me.

 I had a health scare in January that terrified me to the point I went from being a normal young professional to a terrified person constantly feeling pain in my chest, tingling sensations around my body, short of breath, upset stomach and unable to sleep through the night ever since.

I think I've developed GAD with some OCD ish tendencies that are all focused on obsessive thinking of my symptoms and my lack of sleep.

I've been in therapy 4 months but while I'd made some progress I have slipped in the past 2 weeks.

Every night I either can't sleep or wake early and wind up googling anxiety, insomnia, medications, and medication reviews. Although most people on the medication review websites seem to have had positive experiences with medication I am terrified of trying it... And even more terrified, if not tormented at the prospect of trying them and potentially finding they don't work, and leave me stranded, all alone and with no way back, drifting further and further away from normality.

My partner is aware I'm not right but is scared and doesn't feel they can handle the stress of knowing my issues and helping me so I'm kind of on my own. I want to try medication but don't feel like I can tell my partner as they would be terrified, and would think less of me for not being able to beat this naturally.

I don't know what to do. What if antidepressents don't help me get better? Can anyone relate to my situation or reassure me that meds are the right way to go? Do they help make things better?

thanks.

[Neil_1]

Hi there mizzy

Thanx for coming back and posting again and this is a very serious matter – because of all you’re experiencing, things are sure not good for you at the moment and have been that way for a while.

Firstly, don’t ever feel as though you shouldn’t be coming here to post – my motto for others here is to:  Post and post often – post whenever you feel you need too.  There’s so many of us on this site who are only too willing to come to the aid of anyone who posts and it’s so much better that you DO this, than to hang in the shadows and try to battle it out without telling anyone.   No-one’s EVER judged on this site and it’s a safe and comfortable place.

I honestly think that you’ve got to try medication(s) – I guess it will be your treating professional who will be advising you which one to take for your particular issues and by and large, these people are accurate or close to being accurate with their recommendations.  I guess the question to ask back to you is:  do you feel happy with your treating professional (assuming they are a gp?).  If you feel happy with all they’ve done for you so far, I’d be trusting them with the type of medication that they would like you to try.

But by all means, do express to them your concerns prior – so that way they will hopefully book you in on a weekly kind of basis, to start with, so they can monitor your progress with it and you can also provide them with feedback on how things are going for you.  The thing they should tell you though, is that it does take some 4-6 weeks for any tablet/medication to kick in and do it’s ‘thing’.

The thing is on this, there are so many different varieties of meds out there, so it could well be a case of try it and see – you might be lucky and strike it right with the first one you try and that would be awesome.  I think for me, I went through about 4-5 different kinds until I was happy on the ones that my psych has settled on for me.

I do hope to hear from you again on this

Neil

[mizzy83]

Neil,

My very sincere thanks for your reply. I really appreciate it.

It has been a rough year for sure. Not all bad though. I have my ups and downs. I tend to post on here when I am wide awake in despair in the middle of the night. those are my lowest points.

Yes my treating professional is my gp. I do feel like a bit of a number to be honest.it's one of those super clinics with low rates but rapid fire appointments.

I met with them yesterday and they did mention some of the medication options available. They said they have seen some good results with people with anxiety on these medications. I may have mentioned this before but I am anxious that the medications will interfere with my sleep In a non-helpful way. I am fearful of any medication that has insomnia as a side effect which seems to be the case for just about all the options. I can't help but think I need to stabilise my sleep to recover. 

I understand the 4-6 weeks reaction time and that it can be tough in that period as well. I hate the idea of taking it from the top of the list, waiting 4-6 weeks for each one to find out if it worked. And then the despair I might feel if I go through them all without any success...

Did you really find that the medication helped you? Do you really think there's a good chance that they will help me? I just wish I knew someone who could really vouch for the benefits of this type of medication in the treatment of anxiety.

Also I am unsure whether to tell my partner I would be taking medication. I would probably have gone on it months ago if it weren't for the fact that my partner has strong views against medication. It would really terrify her if I were to take it, and her mental health is particularly important at the moment (baby on way). if I were to take them without telling her, do you think the adjustment period is possible to hide? This issue is a big cause of anxiety for me.

I hope to hear back from you on this.

thanks.

[mizzy83]

If I could sleep normally I really feel like I could beat this, or at least, my quality of life would improve  enormously.

[Neil_1]

Hi Mizzy

Awesome to hear back from you.

Medication – to take or not to take.

That’s a big call on your partner’s behalf to have such strong and anti-views on the taking of medication.  I’d almost put to her the need for taking them and then to say, “Well, if I had cancer, would you be against me seeking medicinal (or whatever kind of) treatment to help me fight and perhaps beat this illness?

To me, cancer is a disease/illness;   depression is a disease/illness.

And YES, I do believe the medication(s) that I’m now on are definitely helping me.  I’m on 3 different kinds – kind of strong dosages as well, but they are really doing their job.  One taken in the morning and two taken about an hour before I go to bed, as one of those is not a sleeping tablet, but it does have effects of drowsiness, so I’m very fortunate that it helps with my getting to sleep.

Unfortunately, we’re not allowed to mention medication names on this site or quantities etc, so I can’t let you know which one this is;  but what I can say is that it was allocated to me to assist with my stress, anxiety and nervousness.

I honestly believe that if you get the right kind of medication then YES, it will help you too.

For me though to get where I am now, I had to go through about 4 or 5 different meds, but with some, I didn’t need to wait for those 4-6 weeks, I was able to work out that some weren’t ‘for me’ in a much shorter space of time.  But really Mizzy, for this side of things, it is trial and error – because we are all different and we all react to things differently and hence, we’ll all react to different meds in not the same way also.

With regard to knowing someone who can vouch for them, well you don’t know me, but I am vouching for them.  But again, it’s a matter of finding the right one – for me, I knew I HAD to keep trying because I just couldn’t keep going with my life, the way it was.

Then of course, once they’re in place, we then have so many other things to implement into our progress forward – yes, sleep, but healthy eating, work (believe it or not – as it helps to occupy us), exercise is a biggie, hobbies, interests, etc.

Keep writing back Mizzy, as long as you wish too.

Neil

[mizzy83]

Hi Neil.

I actually broached the subject of meds with my partner last night in a very positive discussion. They put forward their reservations/fears, and I put forward my views. We came to an understanding. Meds are "on the table".

I feel alot less fenced in now which alone gives me quite a boost.

 I think I may know the product you are speaking about. This is probably the one I had in mind to take as it was the only one I knew of that actually helped sleep, and I've heard the first few week adjustment phase is not too bad and am not afraid of a bit of weight gain.

I have made a lot of positive changes already but just have struggled to make the symptoms go away. 

Thanks again for your reply Neil. It means allot that someone takes the time to respond and help. 🙂

[Neil_1]

Hi there Mizzy

Great to hear back from you;  and well done on having that discussion with your partner – a very important one in my book.  And great that it seems that it might be ok to do – brilliant that you’ve got that kind of relationship, open, honest and able to share and discuss.   I’m lucky, I’ve got a similar style of one as well;  but I know of so many out there who aren’t in that same kind of boat.

Now, you mentioned weight gain, and yes, that’s something that some meds can have as a bad side effect – however, I’m on 3 different types and my weight isn’t affected.  But I wonder if that’s due to my 5 gym sessions per week and eating for the most part clean.    Am also cycling a fair bit now too.   So I just wonder, if you remain sedentary, then would the meds have the weight gain effect OR would it just be lifestyle related??   An interesting question.

I’m really pleased to hear of your positive changes you’ve made – that’s awesome and believe me, I could almost guarantee that without these things that you’re putting into place, I think you’d be in a much worse space than what you currently are.  I’m not trying to make you feel bad here, but just trying to emphasize the importance and value that putting positives into your lifestyle can bring/have.   I know if I took two or three of my “good things” that I have in place away, I’d be at a much lower level than where I currently am.

Keep stepping forward – little steps, but they are all important.

And as always, would love to hear from you again.

Neil