I don't consider myself stupid, mean, unfriendly or uptight, nothing like that. I know I am fairly shy but lately I feel super self conscious. I know I'm not living my best life, in fact these last few years I'm just doing my best to get by. But I know work 3 jobs with 3 kids and study pt at uni, I work bloody hard and do my best. Tonight, I thought back to a few recent jobs I lost after short periods and looked up a fb site of one of them scrolling back to the week after one of them let me go giving no reason other than "deciding to go down another path", There in my seat was my replacement, this beautiful looking young girl. Perfect hair and makeup. Seeing her made me feel really ugly and unwanted, not good enough.
I returned to my old job and now I am the oldest and longest lived receptionist working there. I've seen many people come and go. Thing is, I'm still doing the same job, no promotion, no new skills, no prospects for new work and my ideas are never considered, unlike all the newbies. I am by far overqualified, I do my job well and train the other girls but the boss doesn't like me, I don't know why.
Seems like I'm not trusted and every thing I do is wrong or I say the wrong things and everytime it is picked up, yet when I hear others talking crap seems nobody is listening but me. I feel like I'm always cleaning up other peoples mess like I'm the only one that sees it and nobody every thanks me or acknowledges me. I feel unloved and unappreciated and I don't know why.
People exhaust me and I want to run from everyone. I'm so tired. Whats wrong with me? I don't know what to do about this yucky feeling inside. I don't really have any friends or family to talk about this anymore and I feel unloved.
