FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Hating self

Maxy333
Community Member
I'm suffering from terrable guilt and shame that makes me self loathing , my hatered for myself is depressing me. I'm not to sure how to turn this around.
21 Replies 21

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear Maxy333..

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums..

I am so sorry that your struggling so much with terrible guilt and shame...and it’s causing you to hate yourself and causing you to be depressed...

I am wondering if you would feel like sharing a little more about you and why you are feeling so much like you are..

There is no pressure to share any more then your comfortable with, a little more of your story might be able to give us more information as to how we are able to help support you...

This is a safe place and we are here to care for you and help support you the best we can...

My kindest thoughts Dear

Grandy..

jaz28
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Maxy33,

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. You are not alone.

I am here to talk through it if you need me.

Stay strong,

Jaz.

Pumpkinella
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Maxy333,

Thanks for sharing this. Guilt and shame can be very difficult emotions to handle. It sounds like you are sick of your self-loathing because you know its depressing you. This is great awareness and the first step to being more kind to yourself.

Have you ever heard of Brene Brown? She does a lot of talks on shame and vulnerability. Shes quite popular on YouTube.

Please feel free to share more about how you are feeling - is there anything specific triggering the shame?

I experienced a lot of this the past - the journey to self-compassion and acceptance of our imperfections as human and not shameful is something you can move past with the right help.

I wonder if you have spoken with a psychologist before about how you are feeling?

Love

Pumps

Petal22
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Maxy333,

Wellcome to our forums!

Sorry you are feeling this way….

Are you feeling this way due to the past? Sometimes when we do certain things it can make us have the emotions of guilt and shame……..

The good news is you can learn to challenge your thoughts….. and see things from a different perspective……

Maybe you can learn to forgive yourself…. Forgiveness will set you free.. it enables you to let go of negative energy…..

Letting go of things will help you to grow……

With self loathing when you recognise you are doing this try to change your thoughts turn them around to positive thoughts about yourself…… it takes practice but it can be done!

You could also see your gp and let your gp know how you have been feeling you could do a mental health plan together this will enable you to see a psychologist who can help you in many ways for the positive..

Im here to chat to you 😊

Maxy333
Community Member
Thankyou for your response, I will take all onboard. This helps.

Thankyou for your message , I will look up Brene brown , I made a terrable mistake a long time ago and now the people I love the most are suffering because of me. Thanks again.

Maxy333
Community Member
Thanks Jas . My actions of long ago are making the people I love the most now suffer. I'm finding this very very difficult. But it's my fault. Thanks again.

Maxy333
Community Member
Thanks Gandy, I mad a mistake a while ago, and now because of that I'm hurting the people I love the most, its going to affect them for a very long time, this guilt is crippling me. I'm a good person but what I did was not. And now every one around me will suffer.

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear Maxxy,

Have you spoken to the people who have been directly effected by your mistake....I’m sure they have forgiven you for making that mistake... you didn’t do it on purpose it was a mistake...

Many years ago..41yrs ago..I made the biggest mistake of my life, by trusting the people who were supposed to love me.....and the mistake I made, still today directly effects 3 people and many more branches of people that I love very dearly and it will do for the rest of their lives...and mine..

I still feel a lot of guilt and shame over my actions.... I know that I can’t undo these things...the 3 people that my mistake is directly effecting..has said that they forgive me....I have tried many times to forgive myself, but it’s something that I can’t do,,,,Knowing they have forgiven me has helped me to slowly move forward..and the guilt and shame that I have...isn’t as overwhelming as it was...

How do the people that are being effected by your mistake feel...have you spoken to them about how guilty and ashamed you feel...have they forgiven you? ...I really do hope that these people know that you didn’t intentionally do anything to hurt them,,,,

My kindest thoughts, Dear Maxy..

Grandy..