Fired because of anxiety attacks

[SoFedUp]

I applied for a casual job recently as I felt it was all I could handle at the time. I was offered a Store Manager position instead. I said I was hesitant but with the assurance of ongoing support and training I thought I should challenge myself and said I would give it a try.

A new store, new staff, an unfamiliar product and no clear daily plan meant lots of stress and self doubt.

I put unrealistic pressure on myself which led to feeling completely overwhelmed which always leads to sobbing, shame and self loathing.

I was told I needed to give myself a break as I wasn’t expected to know everything immediately and to always ask for help.

It got better but it took very little for me to feel I was floundering again because I was always stressed knowing there was so much more I needed to be doing but didn’t know what. Stupidly I felt I shouldn’t bother other managers all the time with questions even though they offered their help.

Learning how to read financial reports was so overwhelming that I shut down and sobbed “I can’t do this! I’m not smart enough!”

Again I pulled it together and began coping once again. Even enjoying it at times

My one month review was positive when my boss said I had come so far and seemed like a much more positive relaxed person than before and wasn’t I silly for stressing so much before.

Then came Manager Development Training. Coaching staff to develop skills and using psychology principles to get the best out of them. I was so focused on my discomfort people management that I left the room to have a meltdown doubting my future as a manager.

I did commit to giving it my all and improving on a personal level and apologised for causing such trouble. “No trouble, it’s my job!”

Next day I am being fired because of my meltdowns. The same meltdowns she had talked me through with assurances of support and encouragement. “You are too negative about things and keep having these meltdowns so we’ve decided to terminate your probation effective today. I need your keys and diary back.”

I had never taken time off and the store’s performance was improving. I was told I was doing really well and to be proud. Sure I was struggling with so much to learn but it had only been 3 months. My probation was 6. They didn’t even let me show how far I could get in another 3 months. Decision made. No discussion. I was thrown out like I had been accused of theft.

If only people could understand how difficult it is to live with anxiety each day.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

What a disappointment. This will take time to overcome. Time is a good healer.

A friend of mine once told me "there are no friends in business". Perhaps "there are no friends in the workplace" is often the case. Of 90 jobs in 15 professions I've ended up with only 2 friends- the facts are clear, all workplaces have different levels of toxicity. ..it's a matter of learning survival in it which many people find naturally and us? -most difficult.

Firstly, I think you know now that in any workplace, expect the business decisions to be made, often ruthlessly with zero compassion. Any treatment better than that is a bonus.

More importantly is basing your career/job selection on your academic capabilities and mental capacities.

A good example of this is my own law enforcement career- non police. After my panic attacks my career change arrived as a supervisor of mentally impaired adults in a sheltered workshop. Then a few years later commenced my own PI company (a one man operation) working alone.

In fact some jobs arent compatible to us with anxiety

• Shift work
• Customer service
• Food preparation
• Scheduled work
• Assembly line
• Working with others
• Law enforcement
• Emergency services

For what its worth, your achievements like not taking time off and your work ethic, would not compensate for the reason they fired you. It is more the method of their act. Considering 80% of people dont understand mental illness? So we have to seek understanding and support elsewhere. If we can forecast the workplace as being ruthless then the shock is cushioned.

Please google

Beyondblue Topic they just wont understand, why?

Beyondblue Topic do we expect a smooth road in life?

Beyondblue Topic fortress of survival (in the workplace)

So, what is your next step SoFedUp? Would you consider applying for work that you are easily capable of? Perhaps visit your GP to get back on track with a wellness plan? What's your feelings now?

You've found this anonymous site, feel free to repost and keep contact.

TonyWK

[SoFedUp]

Thank you TonyWK

I found Fortress of Survival in the workplace so helpful. I know that my undoing has been trusting too readily and putting myself in a vulnerable position with others.

The upside of this situation is that I have had an intensive lesson in what doesn’t work and what I need to change in order to survive.

The sad thing is that the working world is no place for an open and honest personality. I always thought being a genuine person was a good thing. I have realised that giving less of oneself means protecting oneself.

I learned a new word for such situations. A crisi-tunity. I intend on looking at this crisis as an opportunity to change my patterns and get to a better place.

Perhaps it happened for a reason.

[white knight]

Hi Sofedup,

Oh, how true, lessons learned. We go through the pain of learning the hard way and forget that the learning itself has plugged a hole that hopefully wont open again.

The trick is to feel good that you have learned this valuable lesson, to not give your true "all" in openness and faith, to "play the game" for the ultimate ambition- money to survive. Sad as it is, but there is workplaces that you might enter into that is a great place to work, until that place proves itself, remain cautious.

I'm so pleased you got something from the threads recommended. Made my day.

Remember we are here 24/7/365 so when ever you desire to return or repost- feel welcome.

PS Love the word Crisi-tunity. Positive from negative.

TonyWK