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Constant struggle with OCD and Depression

Sayo22
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Everyday I have a struggle with my OCD, I have for many years and like alI have my really good days and other days I hit rock bottom again (also with my depression). another this I struggle with each and everyday is trying to explain whats going on to my family and friends. It hurts that they think I can just flick a switch and stop my thoughts and the actions I perform. I am getting better at times and have had times where I do think wait stop you don't need to do that and I cut down slightly at that time, other days its worse. Has anyone else struggled with trying to get family and friends to understand?? I feel really alone when this happens and that's the last thing I need at the point in time. It generally makes me more depressed, in-turn making my anxiety rise and then my obsessive thoughts and actions rise as well.... 😞

2 Replies 2

geoff
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

dear Sayo22's, unfortunately nobody really understands OCD it seems to annoy them watching someone do a habit or a ritual. I have had OCD for over 50 years and I am 58 years old. People tend to believe that we are mad or mentally deranged but how untrue that is, it's an illness that a lot of people do actually have, and it depends on our level of anxiety, the more anxious we are the more we do these habits/rituals, and it does fall under the category of depression. There are certain 'things' that I have to do before I go to bed, and if I can't or don't do them I become very anxious to the point where I have to do them some way, or maybe in a reduced manner, then I feel comfortable. Over the years I do them so nobody can see me doing them, although I have been caught out once last year, but then I had a feasible answer to the person asking me 'why did you do that', so nothing more was said.

I have learnt to do my habits/rituals where nobody can see me, because then I have the time to complete them, and no one will question my actions. Some people have been successful in overcoming their OCD or greatly reducing them but maybe I am too entrenched into these habits. I have done an online course which did help, but I didn't like the weekly questions asked to me by the counsellor, they were too intimidating especially by a young counsellor. Cognitive therapy is available but it has to be constant, otherwise we go back to our comfortable situation that we live in. Also there is medication which I take that is supposed to suppress our habits, but personally I still have OCD, but you maybe different.

I really understand your grief about having it, whether it has been handed done by generation only you will know, but the important part of this is to learn how you can do it where nobody can see you, that is in private, it may take a little while, but then you won't have the criticism which is something we don't like. I am not sure whether you are male or female, but anyway try to teach yourself. Please get back to us. Geoff.

Hayley
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Dear Sayo22,

I can empathise too with what your saying. It's usually a persons ignorance,to things like that being said, they may not have an understanding of what it is you are going through. I guess they just see that you are in a world of pain this can lead to frustration our family and friends just want us to feel better.If only it was that easy. With mental illness not being visible to the eye it;s hard for people to get a hold of it. They often come from a place of love but just feel helpless.

It's really important that you have someone around that is understanding and supportive of what you are going through. Try not to take on what people are saying I know it's easier said than done but it will only make you feel worse. You are doing the best you can.

There are resources that provide information and support to friends and family about mental illness. Try and source on the web on websites or through a health professional. I understand that health professionals do information sessions for family/carers of people who have a mental illness that may be helpful for your family to get an understanding of exactly what it is your going through. Your never alone there are people that do understand. Take Care.