Hi!
I am sorry for the late response! First of all, what you are feeling is common. I think it isn't a matter of people not liking you, maybe its more you overthinking situations. It is hard to socialise with others, especially when meeting new people. I myself completely understand overthinking situations. After having a conversation with someone, those little questions coming up of 'Do they like me?', 'Did I say something wrong?', 'Maybe I should not have said that'. Being yourself, being kind and - as you said you were doing - listening and talking to the best of our abilities is all we really can do.
Regarding the people you do not feel the disconnectedness to, what makes you more comfortable around those people? Maybe thinking about the qualities in those people who do not make you feel awkward, are the qualities to search for in new acquaintances.
When feeling awkward or when overthinking, instead of really analysing the situation or feeling bad, try to push it out of your control. I try to do this when I have said something, that when thinking back on it was not THAT embarrassing, and realised that I can not take my words back, it is out of my control so I try to move on from the situation. Also, from reading your thread, it would fit to more anxiety symptoms than depression.
Although these situations make us feel awkward and weird you are most definitely not a freak, and what you are feeling is normal and valid. Have you ever tried talking to acquaintances with a person whom you feel comfortable with? If so, how did that experience go?
Please ramble on, and this post was not awkward one bit!
Would love to hear from you!
