Alone and being bullied by neighbours

jelly12 · ‎27-09-2014

I live alone and I suffer from long term depression (almost 20 years). I take medication regularly and have counselling twice a month.

I have always had problems with the neighbours where I live. Some of them would park in my driveway, be noisy at night when I was trying to sleep and put their rubbish in my rubbish bins. I have very few visitors to my house, no current male partner, no family and I am small in size with a young and vulnerable appearance, which may make me appear an easy target. I moved from my last home approximately 10 years ago due to repeated burglaries and stalking and my neighbours had not been supportive,

Recently there has been an increase again in my neighbours (I don;t know who t is) putting their hard rubbish and chemical waste into my bins. I became extremely angry and went out and shouted in the street that they need to stop putting their rubbish in my bins, use their own bins, etc).

Yesterday there was an unsigned letter in my bin, calling me a "disgrace" and a "psycho". It stated that I needed to go to my "shrink" as my meds were not working, etc. I have not reacted to the letter but it has caused me distress and I have noticed an increase in my anxiety and a reduction in my ability to do regular activities, including working. I spoke to a friend who suggested ignoring the letter completely, as she thinks that the writer is looking for a reaction from me for further ammunition. So far, I have taken her advice. However, I am concerned that further bullying tactics will be tried and I am also concerned about my levels of anxiety. Does anyone have any suggestions to help?

white knight · ‎27-09-2014

Hi Jelly, welcome here to beyond Blue Forums.

Oh, boy. that quote "go to your shink and get more meds". I've had that twice at my mid 50's with two seperate auto clubs through private (cowardly) messages. It hurts alright. And in the case of clubs that have some sort of hierarchy/authority you'd think there would be some action taken??? Not on your life, in fact knowing you have mental struggles only points their judgemental finger towards you and you are forever doomed to blame, ridicule and ostracising.

Living next door to similar people would drive me nuts. In fact my wife and I are lucky, we live in a very small regional town, the ideal really, a nice distance from neighbours who all want a quiet lifestyle.

I suggest you move again to a small area of low population. It shouldnt be that way but just like me withdrawing from both auto clubs....being right doesnt mean you'll survive. Life isnt like that.

It isnt your fault but you wont get understanding from 70% of the population including friends and family so what's the chance of getting anything reasonable from ferals? Ferals- not a nice word but if they do things out of the ordinary like using your bin without permission and your drive, then they are.

By the way I'm 122kgms and ex weightlifting ex prison officer etc. So your size and gender is not the reason.

Sorry I have no other recommendation.

Jayjay2016 · ‎03-09-2016

Sorry to say it but I'm not sure why you are so worried about people putting stuff in your bins when they are outside your property, if they are genuinely putting chemicals etc. in then you can let the Council know about it so that you don't get blamed for it, but other than that, if it's normal rubbish, I don't see a reason to start screaming over it, it just seems OTT.

JessF · ‎05-09-2016

Hello Jayjay, I notice this is your first post so not sure what your own experience with depression or anxiety is. Jelly12 has described a history of bullying that has left them feeling quite vulnerable. Perhaps the new neighbours had not intended to be invasive when putting rubbish in the bins, but when you're depressed or anxious sometimes you can feel triggered and lash out. I don't feel your response was very helpful or understanding, saying "don't scream about it" and the reaction is "OTT".

At any rate, the reaction from the neighbours after the altercation, with the nasty notes is completely unacceptable. There's nothing worse than feeling unsafe and vulnerable in your own home.

PLUMJUICE · ‎23-09-2016

This is a bit like my problem except that people keep taking my food. I live in a house with roommates, and I don't really know any of them that well. Someone in the house has been stealing my food, (as well as others). One day I wrote a note asking them to not take my food and then, I woke up 4.00 in the morning with my sweet potatoes burnt charcoal black. It was so annoying but I started to get worried because they obviously did it out of spite to me, it's not like they were going to eat it or anything. My anxiety has started to get a little bit worst and I feel anxious that people are spitting in my food, or that there going to come in my room and do something out of spite because they don't like me. At first it was hard to sleep as I was listening for footsteps.

But at the end of the day I reassure myself, whilst the petty little things they do to me make there days, it hardly and will never make a dent in mine. And I'll try my best to not let it. People are pathetic don't let it get to you..

Maybe you should try putting your bins in your back yard? That's what my family did to reduce that sort of behaviour. And I think your friend is right in ignoring the letter, it would provide fruitless to respond. If you do write a response, you should try openly communicating them, or even sending a non-accusative type letter. Please don't place your trash in my bin etc. so forth. I don't know just some ideas.

I hope you solve your problem

Stay safe & loved

Plumjuice

Zero_bullying · ‎12-07-2017

Jelly, like you I'm on my own with no male partner and was made aware by the Qld Body Corp Commissioner that women on their own are vulnerable and are often harassed and bullied. However, when my male neighbour and his son chose me as their target they didn't realise, that I had enormous resilience and lots of patience to catch them out. To maintain resilience I have a women's network I belong to and I use this opportunity to talk to female lawyers; I do meditation to enhance my inner peace, and go to the gym to work-out and stay strong and fit. I'm around 60 years old and would like to encourage you to develop your resilience and join a women's network, meditation classes and women's self defence courses. Meanwhile, I installed a camera and report these unmanly men each time they breach my peace and enjoyment. I know it's not easy to deal with this alone, but you are not alone if you reach out and talk to more people like me. So if I can assist you more please ask....take care. ZB

Guest_523 · ‎14-07-2017

I really feel for you. I cannot stand bullies and have neighbors right now who are constantly calling me a pig and worse things. I ignore it as hard as that is and it drives them silly that I do not respond. But it is hard. I try and think that the universe will make things right, that people who throw that kind of filth, will get it back 10 fold. Universal compensation. I really wish you the best and feel your paid. Chin up mate. Hang in there.

Guest_523 · ‎14-07-2017

IFeel your "pain" I meant to say

Sepha · ‎13-05-2018

Hi. Im going through some thing very similar.. I suffer severe depression, anxiety & had knee surgery.. Every time I get a taxi or groceries delivered to my door the driver gets beeped, Sweared at by unit number 4. I try to avoid them as much as I can.. But everytime I get a lift to my door my anxiety gets really bad. I shouldn't have to be bullied. It's a shared driveway.. & since they learned I lost my licence.. They stood out the front mocking me to friend of thiers sitting in the driveway in a car right outside my bedroom.. Such horrible people.

stroppytom · ‎13-05-2018

Jelly... Go to your local council and inform them of what has been happening with your bins. They will take the necessary action, especially if toxic chemicals are involved. DON'T lose your temper and go outside and yell at them. I understand how frustrated you must feel but doing that just adds to their "entertainment". "Let's get the whacko in number X all fired up so we can listen to her scream!" That's the sort of thinking going on in their small minds and you musn't allow yourself to fall to their level and provide that "entertainment". In the long run I think that if this sort of harassment continues you might want to consider moving. Good luck for the future.