why is all of this repeating itself, does it end?

[Rt22]

I dont know what to do..im so sick and tired of questioning all the good Things in my life, being overly stressed and worried and having zero confidence- not to mention completely and unnessacarily overthinking every tiny thing.. From the outside, to other people it looks like we've got everything going for us. Successful business, beautiful healthy 1yr old son, and a strong, unbreakable relationship- happily engaged.. i cant help it, but Ive always been a perfectionist. That being said, i am aware I push myself way too hard and expect too much of myself- i cant change who i am, but im sick of 'me'..... Im nearly 23, was on medication at 18, then was put on it again immediatley after my son was born- but both times decided i was too scared to take the medication..after having my son, i feel like i dont have an identity of my own anymore- even though my son is my life and i dont kbow what id do without him. I just wish these feelings of being not adequate Would Dissapear before i screw something up i dont undetstand it, my head thoughts just never stop..anyone been through this....? 😞 😞

[white knight]

Hi Rt22,  welcome here on Beyond Blue.

It is a guess that you have anxiety likely high anxiety. But I'm no medical professional. Yes, it can and often does end. I've had anxiety and licked it.

My advice is:

1/ Take up or continue with relaxation techniques especially muscle contraction.

2/ Think realistically. Ask yourself if you have been thinking this. If you believe or your partner believes your thought patterns are not realistic then further therapy might be warranted. eg perfectionism. You have to get things into perspective.

3/ Read up more on threads here

4/ Regular detachment from work and home eg short breaks to the beach etc

5/ Spiritual and/or religious inner peace.

6/ Hobbies/sport interests.   Mix up your day time activities

I wrote a thread called "back to basics". search for it on this site. There are many more. Take care.

[geoff]

dear RT22, I too would like to welcome to the site, where you are no stranger to all the people who have joined the site, as all of us have our own problems, but are happy to talk about it and also reply to those who have posted a new comment or even an existing one.

I wonder whether have thought about the idea of having PND which men also have, because it doesn't only happen to the mums, men have it, and it's certainly not the ideal situation at all.

Of course we all love our new babies, but our lives and chores suddenly change, like we can't just pack up and go on a holiday, or decide to go out for a quiet dinner, or even go to the social occasions that once were no concern, but now our responsibilities have altered, so it's understandable that PND happens.

When people mention the word ' perfectionist', then this worries me about another illness, OCD, and because you 'over think every tiny thing' could also indicate that you may have it, I hope that I am wrong.

I can understand why you don't want to take any medication, as there are also many other people on this site who are frightened to take them, but in general terms they won't make you feel like a zombie, because what should happen is that you will be given a low dosage, just to iron out any side-effects if they do occur, maybe they won't.

It doesn't matter how rich we are, how intelligent, qualified or where we stand in the community, because depression doesn't give a damn, it will swallow you up without any hesitation, and there will be no second thoughts, that's how strong this illness is.

Have you thought about going back to your GP and get them to put you on a medicare plan which entitles you to 10 free visits to a psychologist, because what you do need is for someone to give you an actual diagnosis, because you can't go fishing without a rod.

I really hope that you can get back to us, as this is a decent place to be able to talk. Geoff.