Why do I let the fear of failure get to me so much?

[Em7]

Hi,

I'm in my first year of my degree and I love what im studying (I'm studying nutrition). My problems is that I have a habit of not doing things or leaving them to the last minute simply because i'll spend most of the time thinking 'what's the point, I'll never succeed or get anywhere'.

My highschool years were not great. I felt so unintelligent compared to all the other girls, my struggles were always right there on my shoulders weighing down any potential I had. I embraced my bad grades and at one point became proud of them, taking them as jokes and laughing with others about it. That is until one day i realised that that's not who i wanted to be.

As organised as I can be in uni, I go through these funks where it will take me a week to actually start something. I go through so much self pity that I become so depressed. I don't have friends at uni (my class consists of mainly people I have little in common with, fake people).

I never used to be insecure and now all my insecurities are coming out and I honestly don't know how to handle them. I feel as though I'm missing out on my life by not enjoying it.

I have already failed two units and I'm afraid that I'll fail more this trimester. Its my own fault, I hardly attended any classes because my motivation was at zero. I'm afraid that I wont ever do anything with my life and I know it's up to me to change but I'm lost and confused.

Thank you for reading this much needed vent.

[stormcloudz]

Hi Em

My uni experience was a little bit similar - lots of leaving things to the last minute, generally through fear. I had to repeat some stuff too, but eventually got through, and I bet you do too. I want you to know that you are not alone.

I would *love* to have a nutritionist who is "real" and has a bit of an understanding of mental health issues. You will be really valuable and helpful to many people - a real blessing, with skills that outclass any high grades. Truly. If you can't imagine the situations in which that life experience would be helpful, I'm happy to give examples!

In the meantime, I wonder if you can get a little support. You mention feeling insecure but also sound a bit depressed, which is lonely. Sometimes the unis have free counsellors, would you consider checking them out? They are also good at study planning tips, though I suspect you can do that when you are feeling OK?

Thanks for posting and please share an update sometime.